Author Topic: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes  (Read 18496 times)

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Offline Julie H

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #640 on: June 23, 2020, 06:54:05 pm »
Glad to see that you are doing better.
Julie

Offline Rachel

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #641 on: June 23, 2020, 08:50:59 pm »
Hi Maddie,

Long time since your last post. I am glad you are doing well. I am so happy you are singing again. I know that is where your heart is.

Plans are dynamic and that can be a good thing. Go with what works and let go of what does not work.

I am glad you had time with your parents. It is important to be you and it is important to keep your family. It definitely is a balancing act at times.

Guys attention, I wish you luck. It can be fun, very fun.
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar scheduled 9/2020

Offline Wendi

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #642 on: June 23, 2020, 10:51:39 pm »
Hi Maddie. I'm glad to hear you're doing well and moving forward. It takes time and persistence and it seems as though you're doing well with both.

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Offline davina61

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #643 on: June 24, 2020, 01:50:11 am »
Good news on band practice , music raises the spirit. Nice of your folks to visit , glad you got along okay. Go with the flow dear it will come .xxx
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


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Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #644 on: June 24, 2020, 06:47:40 am »
What a nice update Maddie, and the music sounds fun. You were on the hormonal roller coaster there for a while, with freakishly high levels, glad you are getting the care you need.

Time with parents special, glad to read you are taking advantage of their company :)

Have a great summer !

Cyndi
kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #645 on: July 07, 2020, 04:10:13 am »
Seperating from who I am.  Without murder.
Or I won't make it.
It's not "just" the trans thing....or perhaps it's just that this illness is different for everyone. 
I've done what I can to revive the old family thing. Thinking of it as a way to close that book.
But it's a kind of torture.  To continue the connection is to write myself out of the book of life.
If I'm alive (not sure that I am) then the book is still being written.  Begging the Lord to write me back in all the pages I was taken out of.
Refuse to live trapped as an open sore pillar of shame
Some sadist's reserve battery
Respect and do not even think you can tread on this animal.

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #646 on: July 07, 2020, 06:57:41 am »
Good Morning Maddie

What i hear is you need to cut ties with the past, it's difficult, strange, and unique for all of us.

Sounds like you made the effort with parental units however, so that's good. My parents are long gone, but they can see the truth of things now....

Hope your day is going well

C

kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline Wendi

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #647 on: July 07, 2020, 08:30:41 am »
Good morning Maddie. I agree with CynthiaAnn. I think I'd write them off and move forward without them. They're like a weed in your garden always getting in the way and stunting growth of your plant (you). Time to pull out the weeds.

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Online Northern Star Girl

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #648 on: July 07, 2020, 09:27:02 am »
@Maddie    cc:  @CynthiaAnn    @Wendi
Dear Maddie:

I fully agree with the replies of Cyndi and Wendi.  Time to move on, close the book, break the ties.
In my earlier threads I had described those kinds of issues with old "friends' and acquaintances "back home" ...
Even my own mother gave revealed my private contact information to those back home that were not my supporters.

One of the reasons that helped to prompt me to relocate far from home was to get away from my detractors.   My parents are still not fully supportive... that is one of the reasons that I have not been back to visit them like I usually do around Christmas time....    it is heartbreaking for sure.    I do however make a definite point to trying to call them on the phone and send them photos,  birthday cards, etc.... but I seldom get replies and seldom will they talk to me on the phone for very long if at all.   I will never stop respecting my parents, they are the only parents I have and I owe them my respect and love.  I don't every want to do or say anything that I will have regrets about in the future.

:icon_flower: :icon_flower:Bloom where you are planted !!!!! :icon_flower: :icon_flower:

Here where I live now I have developed a circle of very good friends and a network of supporters.

HUGS and more HUGS,
Danielle 

             

Seperating from who I am.  Without murder.
Or I won't make it.
It's not "just" the trans thing....or perhaps it's just that this illness is different for everyone. 
I've done what I can to revive the old family thing. Thinking of it as a way to close that book.
But it's a kind of torture.  To continue the connection is to write myself out of the book of life.
If I'm alive (not sure that I am) then the book is still being written.  Begging the Lord to write me back in all the pages I was taken out of.
Refuse to live trapped as an open sore pillar of shame
Some sadist's reserve battery
Respect and do not even think you can tread on this animal.
« Last Edit: July 08, 2020, 11:28:57 am by Northern Star Girl »
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #649 on: July 08, 2020, 12:05:19 pm »
Thank you x3 for support and feedback.

Today I am cultivating the inside.  Namely me and the inner source.
Without it there is nothing outside in this world worth living for.
Not one thing.

Offline davina61

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #650 on: July 08, 2020, 12:33:41 pm »
Keep looking for that fertile soil to nurture your plants , its there somewhere just a case of finding it. 
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever

Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #651 on: July 10, 2020, 04:32:10 am »
Starting to see little green tomatoes

Casting seeds elsewhere, in all directions, like fishing nets.
Exploring options and opinions.
I will not neglect what sprouts before me (...though I weed through it.)
Bloom where I am planted.
Bloom where I am transplanted.
Blooming mostly 👌


Online Northern Star Girl

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #652 on: July 10, 2020, 11:37:42 am »
@Maddie
Dear Maddie:

YES....  this is what we all need to do as we navigate our way through life.
Thank you for sharing and posting!!!   
Stay positive!

HUGS,
Danielle

Quote
            Bloom where I am planted.
          Bloom where I am transplanted.
          Blooming mostly 👌
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline randim

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #653 on: July 10, 2020, 04:23:44 pm »
Starting to see little green tomatoes

Casting seeds elsewhere, in all directions, like fishing nets.
Exploring options and opinions.
I will not neglect what sprouts before me (...though I weed through it.)
Bloom where I am planted.
Bloom where I am transplanted.
Blooming mostly 👌

Blooming sounds awfully nice.  Hope your harvest overflows.

Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #654 on: July 12, 2020, 01:18:33 pm »
Spending time with a young man. Progressing daily. It's all new but so far I'm like a duck in water


Women are talking with me more about sex now.  Telling me about them and their boyfriends etc.


Head up moving forward

Offline Pammie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #655 on: July 12, 2020, 01:24:32 pm »
Spending time with a young man. Progressing daily. It's all new but so far I'm like a duck in water


Women are talking with me more about sex now.  Telling me about them and their boyfriends etc.


Head up moving forward
Ooh go you!


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Offline Wendi

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #656 on: July 12, 2020, 01:49:06 pm »
Spending time with a young man. Progressing daily. It's all new but so far I'm like a duck in water


Women are talking with me more about sex now.  Telling me about them and their boyfriends etc.


Head up moving forward
I'm glad to hear you're garden is really growing and branching out.

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Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #657 on: July 12, 2020, 08:05:33 pm »
I'm glad to hear you're garden is really growing and branching out.

No fruit yet Wendi 
One of the tomatoes is barely fitting under my overhang.
My cactus is wilting, and ivy don"t like to stay down.

Offline randim

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #658 on: July 12, 2020, 08:23:41 pm »
Everything in its good time my friend.

Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #659 on: July 14, 2020, 07:13:30 pm »
Opportunity!
Referred to and applied for latest job.
Entails serving food and beverages to plastic surgeons and other millionaires....alongside twenty-something girl servers...
What could go wrong? ;)

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