Topic: Pros and Cons, things you miss.

[Julielynn]

I get it, I lasered damn near everything.  Haha  I can't stand stubble.

[sarahc]

I was going to write a post here, but this captured my thoughts exactly.

Sarah

Things I will miss:

• The queues for the toilets being empty at any event in which most people there are women
• Being able to go to the toilet standing up easily
• Cheap and easy haircuts
• Being less self-conscious about my physical appearance and beauty.
• Finding it easy to get shoes
• Not worrying about being clocked and if so being discriminated against for being transgender.

Things I look forward to:

• Women's fashion
• Make-up
• Having longer hair
• Not being expected to be masculine
• Living in the social world of women, which I have always felt is a far better place for me than that of men.
• Being authentic to myself

I appreciate that other parts of the world are very different, but I don't feel that I ever had "male privilege" or ever would have done if I hadn't transitioned. I lived socially as a man, I now live socially as a woman, and I feel I am respected at least as much. I look at the men around me, and I look at the women around me, and I've never felt that the women are oppressed by comparison or that the men have some special privilege and gain more respect automatically. That may be the case in other parts of the world, but in my world it's just never something I've observed.

[Jane.Shannon]

Winter has well and truly set in here in the Seattle area, and I miss being warm. I'm not cold ALL the over, but my fingers and toes feel cold pretty often.

[Jessica_Rose]

The one thing I occasionally miss is that built-in pointing device. I take photos at softball tournaments, and sometimes it's pretty cold. Sitting on a stainless steel toilet, in an unheated bathroom, with temperatures in the 30's is simply torture. I am getting better at 'hovering'!

I don't miss the slight loss of upper body strength. During the holidays, one of my daughters brought her boyfriend to visit for a few days. I was trying to open a jar of something, and it was being uncooperative. I saw RJ on the couch and just gave it to him. I wasn't shy or embarrassed about it -- he's a guy, that's his job!

What do I like? Men opening doors, close friendships with other women, hugging, and just about everything else associated with being a woman. All the clothes, especially lingerie - my new favorite hangout at out at the local mall is Victoria's Secret!

Above all else, I love finally being the person I was born to be.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[HaileyF]

Only 2 things I miss are the cheap hair cuts and self confidence of my appearance.I don't miss shaving at all,not being masculine too and shopping for clothes taking too long.My life as Hailey,shopping for clothes is more fun and easier.Find something I like quickly and buy it.I still have my upper body strength,work out 3 days a week including lifting weights.

[Jessicajade]

I won't miss shaving my face. I hated doing this. It always took so long and the results were short lived. Like by the end of day I'd have it growing back again. Getting it all lasered off was a major plus for me. Plus I'd say it's definitely help point people to gendering me as female.


I'll kind of miss some of the upper body strength though. I can already feel it slipping a bit. I know I'm not as strong as I used to be. It takes me more time/effort to open a jar than it used to. I can still do it, but it feels like it draws some suspicion that it takes me longer to.


Though I'd think it'd be even easier to get women's shoes than mens. I mean there's a ton of places to buy them and they have way more styles to pick from. From basic sneakers, sandals, to pumps or boots.

I will say though, having long hair can be a pain. Lots of brushing required. And if it's windy it goes in your face constantly. 

[ChrissyRyan]

Upper body strength loss is something that I have noticed too.


Chrissy

[sarahc]

I have experienced all the usual effects from one year of HRT, but weirdly, I have not lost any upper body strength so far. I’m still able to carry around some decently heavy things. I should note that I have always had naturally good upper body strength (always number 1 in push-ups at school growing up, despite being a scrawny kid), so I think it’s something genetic.

Sarah

Upper body strength loss is something that I have noticed too.


Chrissy

[Oldandcreaky]

I started transitioning in my mid-twenties, so male muscle and youth get muddled for me. I do miss the strength, but some of that was simply being younger.

Here's what I enjoy: I have an owner's manual for the body I now occupy. I know what to do in social situations and I'm never shamed for choosing poorly.

Also, I was a much better teacher as a female than male.

Lastly, I get to pursue those past-times that have always interested me, like crafting and growing flowers, without raising eyebrows.

[Julielynn]

I buy houses off auctions, renovate them, then rent them out for a living now.   So most of the time they need new flooring so I had a pallet of hardwood flooring delivered to one lately and of course the UPS guy just had to put them at the furthest point in the yard because he got a little lazy about backing the truck in. 

So here I am pulling off all the plastic to haul each one of these bricks inside the house.  Each weighs like 75 pounds, but it's a 2800 square foot house, that means there's a heck of a lot of flooring boxes. I'm carrying in 2 at a time for the first couple, then 1 and getting tired fast.   You all would have laughed at me cursing my "stupid girl arms" by the time I hauled in the last one.   took hours.

[no-moose]

Things I'd miss

Men's bathrooms (way cleaner)

Wait, mens bathrooms are cleaner!?
I wouldn’t know any different, but I find them filthy horrifying to imagine women’s rooms are worse ?!


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[Pammie]

Wait, mens bathrooms are cleaner!?
I wouldn’t know any different, but I find them filthy horrifying to imagine women’s rooms are worse ?!


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Well im very sceptical - I haven’t been in a men’s bathroom for about 40 months but I certainly remember when I started first using the ladies they were much cleaner and nicer. Oh how I don’t miss urinals.
I don’t miss anything at all I must confess, not a thing. I do kettlebell exercises daily so my shoulder and arm definition are actually better than my shadow self.

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[Rachel_Christina]

In the garage I notice heavily my lack of strength.
When doing clutches most gearboxes used to be easy to lift, now it's a definite chore.
I could not lift the transfer from a discovery, I had to pry it out when on the lift and land it straight into an old welder box and styrofoam exploded everywhere lol. The things you gotta do lol
I'm just lucky I didn't miss.
That box was toast though, wasn't a gear left so I could be rough with it. Lol

Got a lend of a gearbox stand to get the new one back in.
That's a tool I really need to buy in the new year!.

Strength and sometimes the ability to not be stared at by men is things I miss.
Can get creepy some times

[Dorit]

Pammie, I am with you on this one, I don't miss anything!  Men's bathrooms were awful for me, having to expose my male parts. I would check first if they had dividers between the urinals, and if not I would try a stall.  Stalls in men's were usually filthy as they were exclusively used for bowel movements.  What a relief to go the the women's, especially post-op!

[Pammie]

Pammie, I am with you on this one, I don't miss anything!  Men's bathrooms were awful for me, having to expose my male parts. I would check first if they had dividers between the urinals, and if not I would try a stall.  Stalls in men's were usually filthy as they were exclusively used for bowel movements.  What a relief to go the the women's, especially post-op!

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[ChrissyRyan]

Bathrooms can be very dirty.

So much so one does not want to use it at times.

Chrissy

[Froodah]

I'm non-binary so I just pick and choose what I like most about each gender.

I actually liked using the male bathroom to powder my face, it doesn't cause a commotion at all.

I way prefer female fragrances, I don't even understand the point of the male ones. I get the point they're trying to be masculine but it doesn't smell the most wonderful.

They love make-up.

They used to play computer games alot, I guess that's "Stereotypically" masculine.

I just don't have a gender role.

They can be strong sometimes.

[Froodah]

Actually just an update.

They identify as plain female now... They are so gender confused lol!

I guess it's more normal. xx.

[Froodah]

No they've decided they're just a crossdresser lol. Nothing that serious...

[Carla68]

I found this pros and con's list from my trip to my first psychology appointment in Oct 2018 I unfortunately had well over 20 bags and purses at this point so is missing from the list

Think some of the comments came from the appointment

I have had a good read of this list this morning and decided not to add to it or comment further even though I now have 2.5 years more of experience and the list was made fairly quickly

Cons of being female                                             Comments Not looking female enough                                                      Hormones will soften look Deep voice                                                                             will need voice lessons surgery very risky Mother finding out and removing my testicles for me    Mother is racist and homophobic and generally hates most humans and animals   not a lot can do here My beautiful wife who I love so much didn’t ask for any of this    Work would be much harder to be taken seriously                     I am good at my job regardless of gender Could earn less money    Some boy traits will not go away (holding doors open)    Lack of masturbation                                                             More time to do other things Travel restrictions                                                             Do I really want to visit Iraq etc Not be invited out on stag doo’s and lad’s nights out                     Not a lot of lads nights and don't enjoy that much. No Stag doo's on Horizon and Hen doo would more than make up for it         Pros of being female    Hopefully happier                                                                        The correct hormonal balance to your perceived gender should reduce anxiety and improve being Not always wanting to masturbate                                                More time to do other things Look how I feel                                                                        Generally more at ease in my body Have more in common with my wife    Wear shoes that I love    Hair appointments    Nail salons    Breasts        Pros of male    Better salary                                                                     probably true Visit any country                                                                    TRUE Keep wife happy                                                                    Probability of resentment issues Save money on up keep                                                    TRUE masturbation                                                                    Only because of natural male urges Making Babies                                                                    have 2 children     Cons of male    Living a lie                                                                           Would probably get worse I don’t like it                                                                   Would probably get worse I don’t look pretty                                                           Would probably get worse Hair loss                                                                           Would probably get worse     Gender makes no difference    Can still drink real ale                                                          and anything else Nearly all friends know and don’t care or are doing dam good job of hiding it   TRUE I make new friends all the time                                         TRUE Sex still depends on wife wanting it                                         Yes, but hormones may not only reduce libido but slight chance of dysfunction I can still bake    Should be allowed to BBQ still    I can hopefully drive a car just as well                                 May have some issues with spatial awareness!! Still eat healthy    Watching Liverpool and England play football                         May lose some interest when on hormones Fishing (apart from weeing more difficult)                                 true on the weeing Being polite

Thanks

Carla