Author Topic: How feasible is Non-op forever?  (Read 2382 times)

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Offline ChrissyRyan

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How feasible is Non-op forever?
« on: May 17, 2020, 09:13:37 am »
How feasible is non-op forever?

While a lack of money can prevent surgeries, unless you plan to put to use your “wrong body” parts in your life activities because you want them (and that is certainly your choice and good for you if that is what you want), I think that if you think you are in the wrong body for your gender, that you would likely not want to remain no-op any longer than need be.

Maybe a lack of money, or older age, or poor health reasons would have you remain as non-op, but even then I would think that many in those situations would not want to remain non-op.

So, remaining non-op is certainly okay if that is what you want but I would think that it has got to be incredibly difficult to remain non-op for most, so that is why I ask if it is feasible. I have not gone full-time yet but after I do I think it would be tough for me to remain non-op.  I suppose that I will see what happens over time.

Perhaps I should rather ask if it becomes almost unbearable for many until they get the needed surgery than to ask if it is feasible. 

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

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Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2020, 09:22:49 am »
@ChrissyRyan
Dear Christine:
The "Non-op" option is obviously not a one-size-fits-all solution for all that are transitioning.... 
....could be driven by financial situations and is certainly driven by personal relationship situations, personal desires and personal choices.

You are in the correct Sub-Forum (Non-op) to read other members experiences and thoughts regarding this subject.

Wishing you well,

HUGS,
Danielle
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Offline Jessica

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Re: How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2020, 10:12:48 am »
Age and romantic devotion are factors for me.
And for me it’s feasible.
« Last Edit: May 17, 2020, 12:01:36 pm by Jessica »

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Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2020, 01:41:39 pm »
@ChrissyRyan,

I've been full time for some months now.

I haven't yet made my decision about GRS. I think I would like to have it, but I don't know if there are any contraindications that would stop me from having it. If that's the case, well, it will definitely be feasible for me to live out the rest of my life as a woman with the wrong genitals.

Hope this helps! - E
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
Referred to GIC: 23 Sep 2019
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How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #4 on: May 17, 2020, 02:44:46 pm »
I went full time almost 3 years ago and i’m going to have to wait a good few years yet for GCS as i’m going to have to wait for the NHS. All that said i’m more certain than ever that I do want the op and have no intention of remaining non op ad infinitum - as always we are all different and there is no definitive answer


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Offline JudiBlueEyes

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Re: How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2020, 05:41:03 pm »
Chrissy I can only imagine it depending upon how at peace you (or anyone) were with your body and mindset.  In the end what others think is totally irrelevant.  I mean IRL, as a discussion point its a good one.
Judi
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Re: How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #6 on: May 17, 2020, 07:35:16 pm »
How will it further your goals in life?

As I see it, most of us only have enough time, money, and energy for perhaps a dozen major events in life.
Surviving a major illness, getting married, buying a forever home, that sort of thing.  Is it worth it?  For some it is.
But for that much effort, there are other things I'd rather do.

Where I live, GCS doesn't even make a difference, legally, what bathroom you decide to use.

My appearance and mannerisms are already sufficiently feminine that people instinctively put me in the female category in social interactions.  Which would bother my  wife when the GGs  we were with decided to talk about boobs as if I were one of the girls.

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Offline Angela H

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Re: How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #7 on: May 17, 2020, 08:31:23 pm »
     Hi Chrissy! I like your question and though I would offer my personal experience on this issue.

     I am just over two years on hormones and about twenty months since I went full time. Before I transitioned I was absolutely sure that I wanted to have GCS, in fact I often said that I hated my penis and I would cut it off myself if my choice was to have it or nothing at all! But I found that over time with hormones changing the physical structure and function of my genitals I was bothered less and less by it. Then late last year I got an orchiectomy and it changed things even further. Now I feel very little dysphoria when I think of it and tucking is easier than ever; actually most days I don't even bother because it hardly makes a difference (per my outfit of course).

     I currently am trying to schedule my appointment for GCS next year (I was on track before the lockdown came along and screwed everything up /sigh), but there's no longer any sense of urgency. I want to have a vagina, but I don't feel like I need one anymore. I think living as a woman helped me realize that what I really wanted was for people to see me as a woman and to have a meaningful relationship with a man who loved me and respected my gender identity. I don't need the surgery for either of those so it has come to matter less to me as time went on.

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #8 on: May 17, 2020, 08:58:41 pm »
     Hi Chrissy! I like your question and though I would offer my personal experience on this issue.

     I am just over two years on hormones and about twenty months since I went full time. Before I transitioned I was absolutely sure that I wanted to have GCS, in fact I often said that I hated my penis and I would cut it off myself if my choice was to have it or nothing at all! But I found that over time with hormones changing the physical structure and function of my genitals I was bothered less and less by it. Then late last year I got an orchiectomy and it changed things even further. Now I feel very little dysphoria when I think of it and tucking is easier than ever; actually most days I don't even bother because it hardly makes a difference (per my outfit of course).

     I currently am trying to schedule my appointment for GCS next year (I was on track before the lockdown came along and screwed everything up /sigh), but there's no longer any sense of urgency. I want to have a vagina, but I don't feel like I need one anymore. I think living as a woman helped me realize that what I really wanted was for people to see me as a woman and to have a meaningful relationship with a man who loved me and respected my gender identity. I don't need the surgery for either of those so it has come to matter less to me as time went on.


Hi Angela!  I like your answer.  It reveals your actual strong need and makes much sense.

   :)


Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Rakel

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Re: How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #9 on: May 17, 2020, 10:00:40 pm »
How feasible is non-op forever?

I have a friend who lives near me and has posted pictures of herself on the internet for decades. She had a well established site by 1990. She is very feminine and attractive. Even though she is born male and has never taken female hormones, she identifies as non-op trans woman. She thinks and dresses as a woman, but has no desire to have GCS or even take Estradiol. This is just what she wants to do.

Yes, being non-op is very feasible and in fact some people prefer it that way.

On the other side of town, I have another friend who would like to transition, but has several medical conditions that prevent any possibility of a successful transition. She has accepted her situation and dresses on the feminine side of androgynous. She also has her facial hair waxed twice a month and wears some make up. This is the best she can do at this time.

Again, being non-op is feasible, but in this case this is all she can do.




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Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2020, 02:04:44 am »
My appearance and mannerisms are already sufficiently feminine that people instinctively put me in the female category in social interactions.  Which would bother my  wife when the GGs  we were with decided to talk about boobs as if I were one of the girls.

Been there... (when I presented as male, and a long time ago to boot)

Well, they didn't put me instinctively into the female category, but they did talk about boobs, and "made me an honorary woman."

Perhaps they knew something...

(edit: minor spelling correction)
« Last Edit: July 05, 2020, 05:28:45 am by Ellie_Arroway »
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
Referred to GIC: 23 Sep 2019
Full-time female presentation since: 21 Oct 2019, unbroken since 12 Dec 2019
Official name change by deed poll: 11 Nov 2019
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Most of my story is in the Just another mtf tale thread!
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Offline Sephirah

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Re: How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2020, 03:11:47 pm »
How feasible is non-op forever?

While a lack of money can prevent surgeries, unless you plan to put to use your “wrong body” parts in your life activities because you want them (and that is certainly your choice and good for you if that is what you want), I think that if you think you are in the wrong body for your gender, that you would likely not want to remain no-op any longer than need be.

Maybe a lack of money, or older age, or poor health reasons would have you remain as non-op, but even then I would think that many in those situations would not want to remain non-op.

So, remaining non-op is certainly okay if that is what you want but I would think that it has got to be incredibly difficult to remain non-op for most, so that is why I ask if it is feasible. I have not gone full-time yet but after I do I think it would be tough for me to remain non-op.  I suppose that I will see what happens over time.

Perhaps I should rather ask if it becomes almost unbearable for many until they get the needed surgery than to ask if it is feasible. 

Chrissy

Depends on the person. And their circumstances.

Speaking only for myself... that's how it has to be. My health means I can't transition. And believe me I've tried. Multiple times. But.. I don't know if you'd call it an advantage or not... I can't feel "down there" so it may as well not exist. I'm paralysed from my lower back down, so I can't feel anything below my kidneys. Which means I don't have to deal with having to feel my genitals, but I also can't have them removed, as a side effect. It's the gift that keeps on giving :P

In my case, feasible or not is a bit of a moot point. What I want is kind of irrelevant, really. It is what it is.

Does it stop me from being me, though? Hell no. :P

Offline LaRae

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Re: How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #12 on: May 18, 2020, 04:33:13 pm »
Depends on what you mean by 'non-op'.

I personally have no intention of having GCS. My identity is independent of my genitalia. That's just as far as I'm concerned, no criticism for anyone who feels otherwise. It's a whole spectrum out there. I think that stems from being exposed to the concept of trans people from a young age. I didn't associate a penis with just men.

However, I do plan on getting an orchiectomy, just to completely shut down Testosterone production. I've had some issues of strange, massive T spikes in my blood results, so I'd just like to get them taken care of. I may even have prosthetics put in, for cosmetic's sake.

"Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armour and it can never be used to hurt you."



Offline SophiaK

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Re: How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #13 on: July 03, 2020, 03:56:00 pm »
Depends on what you mean by 'non-op'.

I personally have no intention of having GCS. My identity is independent of my genitalia. That's just as far as I'm concerned, no criticism for anyone who feels otherwise. It's a whole spectrum out there. I think that stems from being exposed to the concept of trans people from a young age. I didn't associate a penis with just men.

However, I do plan on getting an orchiectomy, just to completely shut down Testosterone production. I've had some issues of strange, massive T spikes in my blood results, so I'd just like to get them taken care of. I may even have prosthetics put in, for cosmetic's sake.
I'm with you on this one, and am planning the same thing.

Offline madeleine

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Re: How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #14 on: July 03, 2020, 04:17:48 pm »
Can you be non-op forever?
- If you can feel like your authentic self, yes
- If you can feel happy, yes
- If for health reasons you have to, well, then you have to
Then yes you can be non-op!

But, if you:
- feel that your body does not match your authentic self
- feel you can't be happy with the equipment you were issued
- don't have health blocking health issues
Then you have to at least think about GCS

This is how I see it. Right now, I plan of having GCS eventually.  However, it is all about you and what you feel and what your goals are.

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #15 on: July 03, 2020, 04:19:27 pm »
I'm with you on this one, and am planning the same thing.
@SophiaK
Dear Sophia
    Please know that I am not trying to hijack your post but first I wish to Officially Welcome YOU to Susan's Place.
    I am happy to see that you have signed up as a member of Susan's Place and have submitted your first posting. 

    As you post here on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you are.
 
    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say.
 
    I want to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
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    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.   Other members will be along shortly to give you their thoughts about your questions and concerns that you mentioned in your very first posting.
   
    There is information and important LINKS that I have included below.   You will find information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
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Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 
Things that you should read
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #16 on: July 03, 2020, 04:21:03 pm »
@SophiaK
Dear Sophia:

OH, and another thing....
If you feel so inclined please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum to tell more members about yourself!
 
With more exposure to more members here you will be able to get more responses to your questions and concerns.

Wishing your well as you continue to be involved in the forums.

NOTE: Now, after all of this Greeting and Welcoming stuff, I will give you and other readers the thread back so that the conversation can continue

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline SophiaK

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Re: How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #17 on: July 05, 2020, 02:13:12 pm »
@SophiaK
Dear Sophia:

OH, and another thing....
If you feel so inclined please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum to tell more members about yourself!

Done! Thanks Northern Star Girl!

Offline ChrissyRyan

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How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #18 on: July 27, 2020, 11:53:26 am »
Thanks for sharing out.   :)

I think about this as I continue my journey.


Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Pammie

Re: How feasible is Non-op forever?
« Reply #19 on: July 27, 2020, 12:52:18 pm »
Thanks for sharing out.   :)

I think about this as I continue my journey.


Chrissy
For me it’s just when and I know i’m gonna have to wait a while sadly.
I cannot go through the rest of my life like this - every day is a reminder of what is so wrong


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