Author Topic: Practical Clothing Guidance?  (Read 1608 times)

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Offline Aarbie890

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Practical Clothing Guidance?
« on: April 07, 2021, 10:19:26 pm »
My spouse came out to me not long ago. We are still figuring things out, but we are supportive of one another and know that at least between us and our kids, things will be okay.

Not everyone may agree, but I believe that what we wear has power. .My sweetie is struggling to find feminine clothing that actually fits their body and looks good, and I don't know how to help (I'm a dancer and if it's costumes in my style of dance, I'm great but otherwise, clothes have never been much my thing). Where do we go to help them figure what looks good and where to get things that fit? Especially virtually/online? (We are still isolating as much as possible due to the pandemic and having at-risk kids). Thank you!

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2021, 12:51:53 am »
@Aarbie890
Dear Aarbie:
Unfortunately with the Covid lockdown rules it can be difficult to get out and about, and then to find stores that you can actually try things on.

Right at first, it is important to get a good idea regarding sizes.  Don't spend a lot of money right at first trying to find clothing that fits well.   I might even suggest a thrift store (Goodwill?) that will allow the purchase of less expensive 2nd hand clothing so you can better pin down styles and sizes that work well and fit properly.

Then, after you can get a better idea of all of that, you can try mail order .... be sure to checkout the return policy.

I am wishing you both well and hopefully you will find what you are looking for.

HUGS and best wishes,
Danielle
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Offline Devlyn

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2021, 01:53:59 am »
Amazon Wardrobe is a "try it before you buy it" platform. You get  seven days to try things on at home and you only pay for what you keep. It does require a Prime membership.

Hugs, Devlyn
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Offline Maid Marion

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2021, 02:41:06 am »
https://lookiero.co.uk/blog/inverted-triangle-body-shape/
Most likely your spouse has wide shoulders and no hips, for an inverted triangle body type.
I'd start with identifying her body type.

Next step may be identifying colors that complement her skin tone.

I've returned two Amazon items via Kohl's and gotten 25% off discount coupons.
I had no hassle as I had the paperwork, but you can't just show up with the items.

Marion

Offline Aarbie890

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #4 on: April 10, 2021, 07:40:28 am »
These are all great suggestions, thank you!  You are helping turn something that seem like a huge obstacle into something manageable.  We can do this...

Offline Devlyn

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #5 on: April 10, 2021, 07:44:41 am »
These are all great suggestions, thank you!  You are helping turn something that seem like a huge obstacle into something manageable.  We can do this...

That's the spirit!  :)

Hugs, Devlyn
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Offline Maid Marion

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #6 on: April 10, 2021, 09:42:00 am »
Yes, prioritize and chip away at what she needs step by step.
I wore feminine tops with my old black dress pants. 
I figured the colorful tops draw all the attention anyway so I could hold off on figuring out what pants to buy.

Marion

Offline Anastasia

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #7 on: April 10, 2021, 04:22:43 pm »
I understand needing to try things on first! The larger stores have closed the fitting rooms, but many of the smaller stores have not. By large, I mean square footage and national presence. Victorias secret has closed fitting rooms, but Soma, same size store but less popular, is open. The smaller, "filler" stores in a mall seem to be mostly open, with restrictions. Weekday mornings are very slow and you can easily be the only ones shopping the store and keep your exposure low.

Sizing is tricky too. I wear 2x sizes, but L-3x work, depending on style. Wal-marts clothes, while getting nicer, are cut with larger breasts for larger sizes. Target largely forgets about the larger sizes. Kohls seems to work best for me size/shape wise. Of course, if your husband isn't a larger size, this doesn't matter, lol.

I first tried on womens clothes at the store, 15,20  years ago and was treated... poorly. Lately, I have been well treated. There is no reason to not try on clothes before buying, but everybody's comfort level is different. Only once has a customer been bothered by my presence, and she quickly realized I wasn't the weirdo she expected. I'll admit, I am a little on the strange side, but you only realize that once you get to know me!  :D

Offline RandiL

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #8 on: April 10, 2021, 04:26:09 pm »
Also separate tops and bottoms, much like what Marion said, are the way to go at first. I am US size 14 up top, and 8 on the bottom.

Thrift shops were how I got started but I understand the difficulty with isolating.

I hope you can have fun with this.

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Offline RandiL

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #9 on: April 10, 2021, 04:34:14 pm »


... Only once has a customer been bothered by my presence, and she quickly realized I wasn't the weirdo she expected. ...
I ran into a couple of co-workers at a thrift store while I was trying on dresses, before I was out. It was like, oh well might as well own up to it. We had a good time looking at ourselves and each other in the same mirror. "Oh that one looks good on you."

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Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #10 on: April 10, 2021, 07:22:48 pm »
Wear what you like when possible and appropriate, age appropriate, that matches fairly well, and make sure everything is always clean and not wrinkled.  Sometimes another woman can help you understand what styles and colors look good on you.

Also:  The same size and fit varies significantly from manufacturer to manufacturer of the clothing.  Try things on.


Chrissy
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Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

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Offline Nadine Spirit

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #11 on: April 11, 2021, 08:48:43 am »
My best advice is to try on as many things as you can in as many different sizes as you can by as many different manufacturers as you can.  Imo that is the only way to find clothes that will actually work for your specific body.  I always laugh when people ask what my size is.  I'm like, for what, tops, bottoms, skirts, dresses, jeans, shorts, underwear, bra, and by which manufacturer?  In general for tops I am a medium, but I can't just buy any medium and be guaranteed that it will fit. 

During covid, and social distancing, and stores limiting fitting rooms, what I am suggesting is a pain in the butt.  When I first started dressing as me I went to outlet malls and would try on as many clothes as I could.  My goal was to try on clothes, but not necessarily buy them.  However with covid, I'd still suggest the same tactic.  Just try and purchase clothes online from locations that offer free return shipping, exchanges, and returns.  Oh and very important, once you purchase those clothes and they are being shipped, be prepared to send them back.  As in if you fall in love with them before they arrive fit wont matter and emotions of finally having the correct clothing will be overwhelming and most likely you make emotional purchases and not ones based upon well fitting clothes.

Good luck!

Offline Emileeeee

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #12 on: April 11, 2021, 09:30:21 am »
I still don't have a style other than jeans and sneakers, but I have asked some of my more well-dressed friends for advice. They told me to use the monthly fashion delivery services. They send you a few outfits and you send back the ones you don't want, and pay for what you kept. That lets you try a whole bunch of different styles. As an added bonus, it can also help to zero in on your correct sizes, because those sizing charts are worthless.

Offline Anjanette Miranda

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #13 on: May 05, 2021, 02:01:03 pm »
Hi

My local Good Will has a store they call the
GW Boutique there higher end ladies clothes.
I just got a $99.00 sweater for $12.00
Still had the store tags on it.
Please don't over look these kind of stores.
AJ

Offline Angelaney

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #14 on: May 06, 2021, 02:21:50 am »
https://lookiero.co.uk/blog/inverted-triangle-body-shape/
Most likely your spouse has wide shoulders and no hips, for an inverted triangle body type.
I'd start with identifying her body type.

Next step may be identifying colors that complement her skin tone.

I've returned two Amazon items via Kohl's and gotten 25% off discount coupons.
I had no hassle as I had the paperwork, but you can't just show up with the items.

Marion

I've seen this on another post and....... I'm really sorry, but I have to say I disagree with that website (not you, I think you're fab :D )


    Don’t wear clothes that create more volume on the shoulders. - Correct
    Don’t wear wide and straight necklines - Hmmmmm
    Don’t wear loud patterns and heavy detailing around the neck and shoulders. - Hmmmmm
    Don’t wear tight trousers and narrow hemlines - Hmmmmm

A small tight round neck will widen shoulders, just because the material between the neck and and shoulder is unbroken. Need to break up that top half. A long neck is more feminine, those fashionable funnel necks are terrible. A wide crew neck, or a mild scoop neck are good, I personally think a V neck looks bad on myself, but good on others.

Patterns are not so simple, wide stripes are bad, narrow multicoloured stripes are actually ok, the best is a darker busier patten, busy patterns are harder to look at, your eyes don't focus on them, and they appear smaller. Dip dye tops, darker at the top than the botton, work well. I don't think there is a rule that always work when it comes to tricking the human eye, but not having a large expanse of one single colour across the shoulders, is vital.

Tight trousers and jeans........... You should try to stick with what is current, because standing out in the first place is half the battle, if you're swanning about looking like a reject from a 1970's pop band, people are going to stare for long enough to see everything you don't want them to see.

My advice is to find a website where the product photos show a model wearing the clothing, from all angles. One of my favourites is izabel.com, you often see the same model wearing different clothes, which is great for figuring out how different items alter the visual proportions.

« Last Edit: May 06, 2021, 05:46:57 am by Rakel »

Offline Lyric

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #15 on: May 11, 2021, 09:48:34 am »
... age appropriate,...

If you wish to blend with a crowd, it can be helpful to dress as others around you do, but I have to say as someone in my 60s I ignore most advice about what's "age appropriate" just as I ignore any about dressing gender appropriate. The very first thing your spouse needs to do is decide what s/he most enjoys about feminine dressing. That may not be something that is "appropriate", but it's a starting point. S/he may have a great desire for lace hosiery, short skirts, metallics or, like me, certain long hairstyles. Know what you most desire.

After that, my advice is what I call the fashion-follow cheat. Like it or not, most fashion is influenced by celebrities. A surprising number of famous women have basically masculine figure features (such as wide shoulders). Choose one with a silhouette similar to your own and her fashions in image searches and style pages. These people are dressed by professional stylists, but we can take ques from the for free.
"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life." - Steve Jobs

Offline judithlynn

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #16 on: May 12, 2021, 03:52:11 am »
Hi Aarbie;

If you live in the US or Great Britain, my very strong advice is organise a session with HouseofColour See: https://www.houseofcolour.com

They work with you in small groups or on an individual basis depending on your preference. They deliver accurate colour analysis to find the colours that harmonise with your natural skin tone, hair and eye colour. They also work with your body architecture and personality to discover your individual style. The new you will look authentic, feel great, and be able to confidently build a capsule wardrobe to suit your lifestyle and aspiration.

I had my colours down by a fabulous woman near Exeter in Devon in the UK some 10 years ago, and I discovered from my skin tones that I am an Autumn person. They provided a cloud swatch and from this a detailed chart on what colours and  dresses, top, skirts,  and make up colours suit me best.

I have saved a fortune on clothes that didn't fit me (my body shape) and which didn't match my colours.

Even my make up matches my colours eg Blusher, Hight;ight,  highlighter, lipsticks etc.
What I often get is compliments from Women and men on my colour choices  and overall presentation. One time I was in Marks & Spencer going up the escalator (I was in a sleepless dress, and 400mm heels) with matching handbag and this woman approaches me from behind and says Excuse me madam, but I just wanted to say that I love your overall outfit and how much everything matches even your makeup. It turned out she was the floor manager. There was not a hint at all that she realised I was Trans.

It as the best investment I ever made, and now I NEVER buy any clothes unless I have compared it to me colour swatch and  colour guide.

It will be a major benefit for you.
Best JudithLynn
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Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #17 on: May 12, 2021, 07:12:41 am »
To follow up on Lyric's advice, follow Charlize Theron's fashion choices. She's tall with wide shoulders and narrow hips.

Offline Amy Chislett

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #18 on: July 04, 2021, 06:00:00 pm »
Macy's had an innovative online size program last time I was there; worked like a charm for me.
I got chased  out of Walmarts women section (by a customer).  I like their boy cut panties, but apparently the world isnt ready for Amy Chislett. When I go into women's sections I feel like a stop watch has just clicked.
Cluck inviTation:  I hear a lot talk of appropriate dressing here.  As the worst appropriate dressed person I would like to know what that means.
Judithlynn,
I would love to to do that. House of Color thing but am no where near passing.  Unfortunately or fortunately, the closest stylist is 2500 miles away.
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Offline Lyric

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Re: Practical Clothing Guidance?
« Reply #19 on: July 09, 2021, 09:02:46 am »
Sorry about the Wally experience, Amy. To be honest, every time I go into a Wal-Mart I just want to get out as quickly as possible. You'd probably have a better experience at some of the remaining higher end dept. stores, but you don't find Wal-Mart prices there, of course. I find Macy's online operation one of the best and have ordered there a number of times. They have free returns and often have free shipping specials and other things.
"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life." - Steve Jobs

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