Author Topic: List of everything you need to get done during transitioning??  (Read 664 times)

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Offline Rebecca28

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Ladies,

Has anyone ever made a check list of all the things to do during transitioning. I am recently came out to all my family. Going full time 7/19. My therapist is like ok. What do you need to accomplish before going full time. I had to stop and think about it. My mental check list was like ok.. name change check, insurance change. Check.. etc.

A list would really help me because I feel am missing things. Maybe this post could be a way to put together a list for others feeling the same way. Hugs, Rebecca

Offline Rakel

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Re: List of everything you need to get done during transitioning??
« Reply #1 on: June 21, 2021, 06:42:24 am »
I never made a check list for my transition. I just dealt with my concerns as they became necessary.

I realize that we are all different and if you need a check list, then my advice is just think about it for a while. You know your situation much more than me or any one else.

Take care and good luck.




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Retired Pharmacist with over 40 years experience in Hospital and Retail Pharmacies.
I still keep my professional licence active and in good standing.


Offline Pammie

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Re: List of everything you need to get done during transitioning??
« Reply #2 on: June 21, 2021, 11:45:34 am »
Ladies,

Has anyone ever made a check list of all the things to do during transitioning. I am recently came out to all my family. Going full time 7/19. My therapist is like ok. What do you need to accomplish before going full time. I had to stop and think about it. My mental check list was like ok.. name change check, insurance change. Check.. etc.

A list would really help me because I feel am missing things. Maybe this post could be a way to put together a list for others feeling the same way. Hugs, Rebecca
I certainly had a check list and a budget. Ok, I blew the budget in 12 months but it was still a good idea!
My checklist was:
0. Work with my hairdresser to get my hair just right and plan it’s evolution
1. Make a list of family & friends who are going to find it difficult to transition with me
2. Talk to HR at work to agree strategy and timing
3. Start laser hair removal immediately (no need to wait for finally going FT)
4. Change name by deed poll (again, no need to wait)
5. Work out my work styles and build wardrobe
6. Get some dental work done
7.  Get some new glasses!
8. Spend every minute I can being me! B4 I went full time I had to cross dress to present male at work, with family and at footie
9. Work out who your support network is! If you are able to have one
10. Plan the big day - hair, nails, eyebrows, lashes maybe
11. Actively reduce male clothes and plan final day disposal!
12. Practise make-up and go on a course if possible
13. Work on voice! ALWAYS a WIP!
14. Refine your out of work look - what are my casual and going out styles?
15. Lose weight - go down a dress size or 2 if possible!
16. Think about strategy for when you don’t pass - do you care? If you do how will you handle it?
17. Are there no-go places when ur full time? Should there be?
18. Post deed poll get your name changed everywhere!

Im probably missing some things but it’s a start ! 

xx


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Offline Rebecca28

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Re: List of everything you need to get done during transitioning??
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2021, 08:11:58 pm »
Pammie,

Thank you that’s so helpful. I am not usually a list type of person. But as I was sitting there with the therapist. It was like ok what’s next to work on. There’s always more., voice etc. I had to stop and really think. That’s where a list would be helpful to keep the focus and help plan for the future. Hugs, Rebecca

Offline RandiL

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Re: List of everything you need to get done during transitioning??
« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2021, 01:15:50 pm »
I'm more like Rakel, kind of a step at a time. That said I have several items that I identified as taking a long time so I got them started as soon as possible:
- Facial hair removal, which is electrolysis for me, and started a year before I went full-time.
- HRT
- Voice training

Going full time didn't depend on any of these but I wanted them underway.

What is full time anyway? For me it meant presenting as myself all the time. But there are levels. I haven't worn male clothing since I moved last October, but I'm not formally out at work. I haven't legally changed my name or sex yet. I say I'm full time but there are still steps to go.

My smartphone thinks it's smarter than me. It's probably right.

Forging my new, best life as Randi

My personal blog thread: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last

My HRT thread: Randi's HRT Journal


Offline Rebecca28

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Re: List of everything you need to get done during transitioning??
« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2021, 04:00:56 pm »
RandiL,

You bring up a good question of what’s full time. For me it’s presenting as Rebecca 24/7 to the world as the amazing woman I am. I am still in guy mode at work for another month: it’s ok because it lets my hair grow out more. My chest get bigger etc.  I have been on HRT for 15 months. The changes are amazing and interesting. I have had 4 laser treatments and 5 hours of electrolysis over the last year. I am still working on wardrobe. Does that ever end?? Lol. I am still on that 12-14 year old stage of my second puberty. Everything is fun to wear.. learning makeup and what to do with my hair and accessories?? Letting myself being as girly as I want..it’s all so fun to me!!  Hugs, Rebecca

Offline Nadine Spirit

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Re: List of everything you need to get done during transitioning??
« Reply #6 on: June 24, 2021, 07:50:16 am »
I never created a list as I sort of never really accepted I was transitioning until I actually did it.  The order I did things though was as though some part of my had a master plan.  A rough listing of what I did towards my transition, some of which I accomplished back when I thought I was just a crossdresser:

- got an entire wardrobe that flattered me
- found a wig that works very well for me
- figured out makeup
- taught myself how to go out in the real world as me
- made sure I was including my wife in all of my self discoveries
*** changed hormones
- started therapy
- came out at work
- came out to friends
- began facial electrolysis
- changed legal name and gender
- socially and professionally started presenting as myself full time
- got an orchi

That's a rough list as there have been so many tiny things that it's hard to remember them all. 

Good luck to you!!!

Offline Pammie

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Re: List of everything you need to get done during transitioning??
« Reply #7 on: June 24, 2021, 12:20:16 pm »
I'm more like Rakel, kind of a step at a time. That said I have several items that I identified as taking a long time so I got them started as soon as possible:
- Facial hair removal, which is electrolysis for me, and started a year before I went full-time.
- HRT
- Voice training

Going full time didn't depend on any of these but I wanted them underway.

What is full time anyway? For me it meant presenting as myself all the time. But there are levels. I haven't worn male clothing since I moved last October, but I'm not formally out at work. I haven't legally changed my name or sex yet. I say I'm full time but there are still steps to go.

My smartphone thinks it's smarter than me. It's probably right.
I see full time as the moment I binned my last male clothes. 07:15 on August 7th 2017 for me. Since that moment I’ve not spent one nano second in my shadow persona, either externally or inside my own head. I think im a very lucky girl! (Ok, i’m 61 next week so maybe I SHOULD say lady)


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Offline Rebecca28

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Re: List of everything you need to get done during transitioning??
« Reply #8 on: June 30, 2021, 05:43:41 pm »
Nadine and Pammie,

Thank you so much. You both bring up valid points. I am almost there as far as getting rid of the last of my guy clothes.

Thanks for your sharing!

Hugs, Rebecca

Offline Jane.Shannon

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Re: List of everything you need to get done during transitioning??
« Reply #9 on: July 02, 2021, 11:49:26 pm »
Rebecca,
I made a list, but I am not going to share it with you.  It is irrelevant to you, it is my list.  Despite what people think there is no right way to transition.  There are no required pills, surgeries, or legal proceedings you must complete.  Only you can build your checklist.  What I do maintain, and is actually more important to me, is an Actual Dates list.  On this list I record when I actually completed something.  So I can go back and see that I started HRT 701 days ago.  This was such an important milestone for me, and it brings me joy seeing the number days increasing. 
Take care,
Jane
June 2021: Orchiectomy
July 2020: Full Time
Aug 2019: Started HRT
Dec 2019: Hair Feminization Surgery

Offline Pammie

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Re: List of everything you need to get done during transitioning??
« Reply #10 on: July 03, 2021, 05:06:52 am »
Rebecca,
I made a list, but I am not going to share it with you.  It is irrelevant to you, it is my list.  Despite what people think there is no right way to transition.  There are no required pills, surgeries, or legal proceedings you must complete.  Only you can build your checklist.  What I do maintain, and is actually more important to me, is an Actual Dates list.  On this list I record when I actually completed something.  So I can go back and see that I started HRT 701 days ago.  This was such an important milestone for me, and it brings me joy seeing the number days increasing. 
Take care,
Jane
I think the idea was to get an idea of all the factors to consider which seems quite reasonable a request. I don’t find I need to list key dates as they are permanently etched on my consciousness


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Offline Rebecca28

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Re: List of everything you need to get done during transitioning??
« Reply #11 on: July 03, 2021, 07:55:22 am »
My whole point of this his post was to help others like me going through this at times overwhelming process. I was sitting with the therapist trying  to think of what was next??

A list of things others do during their transitions helps give me ideas and refocus as to what I may need when you hit a wall because of how much goes into this process! I am glad Jane you keep a list of important dates. For me the number of days on HRT isn’t important to me.. but others may feel the same way and that’s ok, I know I won’t stop no matter what so I use my energy to work on other things.

I have enjoyed everyone’s sharing in this post. I have gotten some things to thing about as I evolve.

Hugs, Rebecca

Offline Pammie

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Re: List of everything you need to get done during transitioning??
« Reply #12 on: July 03, 2021, 08:06:56 am »
My whole point of this his post was to help others like me going through this at times overwhelming process. I was sitting with the therapist trying  to think of what was next??

A list of things others do during their transitions helps give me ideas and refocus as to what I may need when you hit a wall because of how much goes into this process! I am glad Jane you keep a list of important dates. For me the number of days on HRT isn’t important to me.. but others may feel the same way and that’s ok, I know I won’t stop no matter what so I use my energy to work on other things.

I have enjoyed everyone’s sharing in this post. I have gotten some things to thing about as I evolve.

Hugs, Rebecca
Im really pleased Rebecca - that’s exactly what I would hope from this site! The very best of luck! Xxx


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Offline Jessica_Rose

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Re: List of everything you need to get done during transitioning??
« Reply #13 on: July 03, 2021, 09:07:53 am »
Nadine's list is a good starting point. However as Jane mentioned, all of our lists and their sequence will be slightly different. It really all depends on what your priorities are. If I had a list of everything I would need to do when I started, it would have overwhelmed me and I may never have started my journey!

Short version:
1 - Started hair removal (laser and electrolysis)
2 - Told spouse
3 - Started estradiol
4 - Started therapy (if you ever want GCS, you will need to see a therapist)
5 - Found a hair stylist
6 - Got ears pierced
7 - Learned about makeup (the ladies at Merle Norman were really nice)
8 - Legal name change
9 - Came out at work / went full time

There are of course many other steps, but these were the basic ones for me. Building a wardrobe should start early too, but that will always be a work in progress as you learn the styles that suit you best.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

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