Author Topic: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?  (Read 1349 times)

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Offline warlockmaker

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Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« on: October 03, 2021, 02:41:52 am »

After seven years I still find it unbelievable how women are treated as second class humans by most men. Confront a man and he will threaten you with possible violence. I live in Bangkok and am eurasian and the men I have had problems are Indians, Arabs and Americans. Never had problems with thai men ( I have thai citizensglhip)

Just the other day I had an altercation with an American man working for the UN. Our verbal arguement finally resulted in him shoving me up against the wall. He is 40 years old over 6ft. I am a very fit 73 year old, 5ft 7ins 130ibs. Entire incident was recorded on CCTV. If I report him to the police he will lose his job and be deported He has a wife and 2 children. Years ago I would have reported to the police but nowadays I don't think I can live with the guilt of causing him to lose his job and being deported. I was not hurt but shocked at being assaulted. I have been struggling about taking action.

What would you do?
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Offline Rakel

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Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2021, 05:45:00 am »
Violence against women, or anybody else for that matter, is a crime. It must be reported to the police, otherwise events like this will just increase.

The perpetrator can explain his actions to the judge.  :police:

Also, while some cultures have a history of violence more than others, not everyone is violent. Each individual is responsible for their own actions.




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Offline warlockmaker

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Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #2 on: October 03, 2021, 06:23:28 am »
I agree.

 Always been a better talker but seems that's what provokes. I wasn't hurt, and this could ruin someone future and his young family - II can't live with that.
When we first start our journey the perception and moral values all dramatically change in wonderment. As we evolve further it all becomes normal again but the journey has changed us forever.

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Offline sandrauk

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Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #3 on: October 03, 2021, 06:55:45 am »
Many years ago I was confronted by a similar dilemma. I was on deployment in the forest with the Harriers.

At about 1am one of the lower ranks burst into my tent and tried to strangle me, no idea why but he was drunk and resented me telling him what to do when he was older.

I was in a cocoon style sleeping bag and with his weight on top of me I was totally helpless. I honestly thought I was a goner but he stopped.

Next day, my neck was  bright purple. I decided not to report him because he had a wife and two kids, but he had to grovel to me, if I hadn't seen some contrition I would have reported him, because he might have done it again.

Pammie

Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #4 on: October 03, 2021, 08:17:04 am »
Many years ago I was confronted by a similar dilemma. I was on deployment in the forest with the Harriers.

At about 1am one of the lower ranks burst into my tent and tried to strangle me, no idea why but he was drunk and resented me telling him what to do when he was older.

I was in a cocoon style sleeping bag and with his weight on top of me I was totally helpless. I honestly thought I was a goner but he stopped.

Next day, my neck was  bright purple. I decided not to report him because he had a wife and two kids, but he had to grovel to me, if I hadn't seen some contrition I would have reported him, because he might have done it again.
I honestly think we should report these things. He may have shown contrition towards you but in his head he got away with it so might do it again to someone else! And maybe they won’t be so lucky!


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Offline Nadine Spirit

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Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #5 on: October 03, 2021, 08:32:30 am »
I think we often want to think that physical violence is a one off thing and that most likely the person will not do it again.  That is a fallacy, imo.  Most likely they will do it again, especially the more they get away with it.

Report it.  It is not you who is causing his family problems, it is him.  As well, if he was physical with you, he probably will be that way with his family and you could possibly be rescuing his wife and children, not actually harming them.

Just my opinion.......

Pammie

Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #6 on: October 03, 2021, 08:53:46 am »
I think we often want to think that physical violence is a one off thing and that most likely the person will not do it again.  That is a fallacy, imo.  Most likely they will do it again, especially the more they get away with it.

Report it.  It is not you who is causing his family problems, it is him.  As well, if he was physical with you, he probably will be that way with his family and you could possibly be rescuing his wife and children, not actually harming them.

Just my opinion.......
My opinion too


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Offline sandrauk

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Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #7 on: October 03, 2021, 09:09:38 am »
My opinion too


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Good point. Looking back I think I should have. I was probably influenced by the mistakes I'd made when I was a pre-teen and haven't repeated, but he was 30

Offline Gertrude

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Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #8 on: October 03, 2021, 10:34:59 am »
Report him. He earned it and should be held accountable.
« Last Edit: October 03, 2021, 06:58:56 pm by Rakel »
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Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #9 on: October 03, 2021, 10:37:49 am »
You seem to know this man, as you know about his family. What's your relationship to him?

Were there witnesses?

What happened prior to the assault?

What happened after the assault?

Offline MistressStevie

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Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #10 on: October 03, 2021, 05:20:41 pm »
The short term ramifications may less than the long term ones.
Those using misplaced violence often exhibit the pattern across
multiple situations.   So reporting now, where there is supporting
evidence, may lead to intervention preventing future occurances.

Offline warlockmaker

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Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #11 on: October 04, 2021, 12:54:34 am »
I saw a lawyer and will demand a written apology and a donation of usd 1,500 to the Abused Women organization.
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Offline Dorit

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Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #12 on: October 04, 2021, 04:47:28 am »
 "I don't think I can live with the guilt of causing him to lose his job and being deported. I was not hurt but shocked at being assaulted. I have been struggling about taking action."

This reminds me of what I felt when I realized that my transition was causing problems between my son and his wife.  I felt so guilty.  My good therapist helped me to realize that it was not my fault, it was their fault that they were having marriage problems! It is not your fault if the result of this guy's violence causes him to loose his job and be deported.  It is his fault!  Empathy for others is good, guilt for the problems other cause themselves is not.
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Offline Rachel

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Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #13 on: October 04, 2021, 02:19:13 pm »
Hello Warlockmaker,
 
Most likely the man has anger and violence issues that also influence his home life. It is good you spoke to your lawyer. Most likely you were not the first nor the last person he will hurt.

I think you should do what you and you lawyer discuss and you agree to do.

Rachel
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Offline SheShe

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Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #14 on: October 04, 2021, 10:58:34 pm »
You are too lovely to be abused like that, you should be cherished IMO.    If I had seen that against you I would have intervened.
« Last Edit: October 05, 2021, 06:08:02 am by Rakel »

Offline warlockmaker

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Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #15 on: October 05, 2021, 02:53:27 am »
She she, so sweet of you. I'm much smaller than him otherwise I would fight back. Thank you .
When we first start our journey the perception and moral values all dramatically change in wonderment. As we evolve further it all becomes normal again but the journey has changed us forever.

SRS January 21st,  2558 (Buddhist calander), 2015

Offline Anita B. Ting

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Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #16 on: October 05, 2021, 08:39:48 am »
Until more of these situations are reported and dealt with by authorities, society as a whole will continue to view this behavior as acceptable and will continue to either exhibit said behavior or stand by and no nothing when they see it in others. Just my opinion.

Anita

Offline Katie76

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Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #17 on: October 05, 2021, 03:51:35 pm »
I don't have much to add here except if he does that to you, there is no telling what he does to his wife and kids.

Pammie

Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #18 on: October 05, 2021, 03:57:53 pm »
Until more of these situations are reported and dealt with by authorities, society as a whole will continue to view this behavior as acceptable and will continue to either exhibit said behavior or stand by and no nothing when they see it in others. Just my opinion.

Anita
I think this is exactly right


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Offline Anita B. Ting

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Re: Aggressive and threatening behavior by men. What would you do?
« Reply #19 on: October 05, 2021, 04:05:22 pm »
Pammie -

You sure know how to make a girl blush!

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