Author Topic: how do you know if you are non binary?  (Read 1125 times)

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Offline felixalex

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how do you know if you are non binary?
« on: October 16, 2021, 05:57:28 am »
I will keep this short

My question is How do you know if you are non binary?

now and then I dress female other times I just either androgynous or I have to dress male

I never feel male while other times I feel female

Neutrois seems to fit or agender, but its the wanting to dress female I find confusing

Online Maid Marion

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Re: how do you know if you are non binary?
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2021, 06:07:41 am »
Crossdressers typically can't explain why they need to dress in female clothes.  But they do.
And they most certainly don't want to become females all the time.

You may want to discuss this with a therapist to figure out what you are.

Most people would say I'm non binary because I'm not on HRT and don't plan on surgery.
But, I consider myself female.  I have an hourglass figure, have female mannerisms, speech, and walk.
I now work and play in obviously feminine clothes.  As well as heels and nail polish.

As someone remarked on another forum, I have "bikini confidence" as I posted a picture of myself wearing a Victoria's Secret bikini.  I think I look good in a bikini.  I don't need HRT or surgery to boost my confidence.

« Last Edit: October 16, 2021, 07:54:29 am by Maid Marion »

Offline Nadine Spirit

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Re: how do you know if you are non binary?
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2021, 07:19:45 am »
Once upon a time I thought I was non-binary.  Why?  I always wanted to go back and forth and figured that I would always be that way.  A variety of things led to me actually fully transitioning and that really opened my eyes for me.  Funny as most, including myself, would love to be 100% certain before fully transitioning, but that just was not the case for me.  Almost immediately after going full time I realized I only want people to see me as female and nothing else ever.   It was around that time that I began to understand that I am just simply female. 

All of these inner shifts were accompanied by lots of therapy with my gender specializing therapist.  She was super helpful in asking lots of questions to make me think and by pointing out things I didn't want to see. 

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: how do you know if you are non binary?
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2021, 09:37:10 am »
Dressing is a major part for certain but you just know that you are in the wrong body for you at some point in time if you are an MTF or FTM.  I am unsure about those that believe they are of more than one gender.

I love dressing femininely and being accepted as female although AMAB.  When I must present in a more androgynous or male way, that is most unsatisfying. 

When I go full time as my female self, there will be no male presentations ever again.  What would be the point?

I suggest talking with a gender therapist to gain clarification.  Accepting yourself for who you are is a big step, then transitioning is a big step, and I would take each step deliberately with much thought with no rushing.


Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

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Offline Tess100

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Re: how do you know if you are non binary?
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2021, 10:02:05 am »
Hello Felixalex,
I have identified as nonbinary for many years. I spent 30 years of my life feeling like what you describe.

Identifying as nonbinary has made sense for me because I haven't felt an overwhelming need to transition.  Identifying as nonbinary has also allowed me to explore my gender freely with out turning my life upside down. As I explore and gain more self awareness I may decide to fully transition. 

I would encourage you to explore other aspects of living life as a women outside of clothing and see if you identify with those things.  Social interactions, how you move through life and how you like to be treated by others are all good places for exploration.  This was extremely helpful for myself as I was able to gain self-awareness and see that as much as I liked wearing clothing off the female rack, my gender confusion was much more then simply "crossdressing".

Having a therapist, taking your time and not succumbing to others opinions of how you should 'be' or 'present' in life is very important.