Crossdressers typically can't explain why they need to dress in female clothes. But they do.
And they most certainly don't want to become females all the time.
You may want to discuss this with a therapist to figure out what you are.
Most people would say I'm non binary because I'm not on HRT and don't plan on surgery.
But, I consider myself female. I have an hourglass figure, have female mannerisms, speech, and walk.
I now work and play in obviously feminine clothes. As well as heels and nail polish.
As someone remarked on another forum, I have "bikini confidence" as I posted a picture of myself wearing a Victoria's Secret bikini. I think I look good in a bikini. I don't need HRT or surgery to boost my confidence.
Marion