Author Topic: Keeping in the family.  (Read 2066 times)

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Offline Dr_Who_Ace

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Keeping in the family.
« on: October 28, 2021, 08:38:09 pm »
 I have been on the fence about my gender no and then, thinking about if am trans or not. I have had this for a while and yet I feel a little conflicted. As a family member there in there teens is going through an identity crisis and expressing themself as gay, by dressing in more no gender clothing yet more feminine.


I don't have an issue with them being LGBTQ, yet it is the way there present themselves as such. That makes feel there stereotype image of how lgbtq act, in my opinion. This has left me conflicted  about my own decisions.

I get that everyone come out differently yet, there coming out would set a stgma standard that. If do finally find my gender, I may be looked at as pretend or copy them. if I were to come out. Where I'm more introverted than there extrovert as it were.

I like some advice, one again I am happy that there my family member is LGBTQ. So please don't hate me.

Offline Lady Sarah

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Re: Keeping in the family.
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2021, 10:03:40 pm »
Have you considered talking to that family member about this? Perhaps a sit down discussion about your gender feelings may be beneficial.

At least you have someone close to you in the LGTBQ community to talk to about this. I talked to complete strangers, all of whom came to the same conclusion. I needed to transition into a woman in order to be happy.

Don't be afraid to have a little talk.
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Offline Dr_Who_Ace

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Re: Keeping in the family.
« Reply #2 on: October 29, 2021, 03:37:39 am »
There is that yet there an age difference as there in their teens and im an adult, as well my nephew and lives with his dad. Where their dad thinks someone is tricking them into thinking they're LGBTQ. As well that dressing up with clothing with the word juicy on the backside.

Seems a little a bit on the nose as it is advertising trouble, I haven't said anything to them yet as in doing so, just makes me think complicated emotionally.  If that makes sense ?

Offline Faith

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Re: Keeping in the family.
« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2021, 05:55:55 am »
Try not to impose your idea of what is the 'right way' onto them, or enforce any one else's idea. They are their own person, they have to learn what is right for them. Safety concerns, yes, but as long as they are happy with their expression then let them.  If they are being 'coerced' into something they are not, it will come to light.  If you try to force one way or another you may find that you are pushing into the exact scenario you want to help them avoid.

Relax, let them know you are safe to talk to, listen, communicate without judgment.

As for being a 'stereotype' Well, stereotypes exist for a reason. They'll find their own way to express, I know I did. I started out a bit too strong and then eased into my own. I'm sure they will as well.

Offline Rakel

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Re: Keeping in the family.
« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2021, 06:32:12 am »
I have been on the fence about my gender no and then, thinking about if am trans or not. I have had this for a while and yet I feel a little conflicted...

You do not need to put labels on yourself if you are questioning your gender. Just be yourself, whatever you decide to be.

What you should be asking yourself is, "How do I want to live the rest of my life?"

For some of us complete transition is necessary, while others find relief fron their gender dysphoria in other, not so permanent ways. I have many friends who are cross dressers. They have discussed their dysphoria with their families and decided to occasionally cross dress. One person had her own issues and decided to purge her female clothing and try to man-up, as we say.

What I am trying to say is that we all have our own issues and we find relief from those issues in various ways. Just do what you need to do and do not be concerned with any label someone else may put on you.

Just be yourself and take care.  :-*




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Offline Dr_Who_Ace

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Re: Keeping in the family.
« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2021, 10:19:49 am »
Try not to impose your idea of what is the 'right way' onto them, or enforce anyone else's idea. They are their own person, they have to learn what is right for them. Safety concerns, yes, but as long as they are happy with their expression then let them.  If they are being 'coerced' into something they are not, it will come to light.  If you try to force one way or another you may find that you are pushing into the exact scenario you want to help them avoid.

Relax, let them know you are safe to talk to, listen, communicate without judgment.

As for being a 'stereotype' Well, stereotypes exist for a reason. They'll find their own way to express, I know I did. I started out a bit too strong and then eased into my own. I'm sure they will as well.

Makes sense and I said to my mom I fully respect them. In their choice, I hope time they find what works and there happy. I guess im just in some way a little jealous. At their openness yet im just a little worried that it left me in a mental closet a little. Thank you for you advise as I need to sort my thoughts out an not, come off wrong.

Offline Faith

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Re: Keeping in the family.
« Reply #6 on: October 29, 2021, 10:50:31 am »
As Rakel stated, don't try to label yourself. Labels are simply a comfort thing to say "Oh, here's where I fit" when the truth is, no one fits .. we are each individuals. So, rather than a comfort 'label' simply look to what makes you comfortable with yourself.

Online Maid Marion

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Re: Keeping in the family.
« Reply #7 on: October 29, 2021, 11:23:25 am »
You may benefit from talking with a therapist as "what your family thinks" is an issue.

Offline Dr_Who_Ace

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Re: Keeping in the family.
« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2021, 01:02:26 pm »
You may benefit from talking with a therapist as "what your family thinks" is an issue.

I leave things as they are at the moment, so let them sort things out with their dad as there a lot I don't as I haven't seen them in while so. I just observe and support them.

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