Author Topic: Considering Socially Transitioning...  (Read 1218 times)

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Offline Ellie_Jean

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Considering Socially Transitioning...
« on: November 11, 2021, 04:55:47 pm »
Sooo...let's see...I've been on hormones over nine months...I dressed up for Halloween this year...it was kind of a disaster...probably a different thread. ...Anyhoo...sometimes I passed; sometimes I didn't. ...Buuut...it's been getting harder and harder to pass as a boy...sometimes I get weird looks when I have to show my ID to buy smokes or booze.
...Sooo yeah...I'm kinda freaking out. 😖
“Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we're afraid!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we will fall!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
And they came.
And he pushed.
And they FLEW.

― Guillaume Apollinaire (French Poet; 1880 - 1918)

Offline Maid Marion

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Re: Considering Socially Transitioning...
« Reply #1 on: November 11, 2021, 05:41:57 pm »
I find it much easier to socialize presenting as a woman.  I have a petite hourglass figure with a thin waistline.  Somehow this conveys that I know what I talking about much more than when I presented as a short guy....

I've also done things like after overhearing a lady repeatedly telling her husband how sweet the expensive  Cotton Candy grapes are, I went ahead and agreed with her, in a show of support.

Marion

Offline Ellie_Jean

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Re: Considering Socially Transitioning...
« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2021, 09:53:19 pm »
I find it much easier to socialize presenting as a woman.

...I'm way too self-conscious of my voice. 😣
“Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we're afraid!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we will fall!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
And they came.
And he pushed.
And they FLEW.

― Guillaume Apollinaire (French Poet; 1880 - 1918)

Offline Nadine Spirit

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Re: Considering Socially Transitioning...
« Reply #3 on: November 12, 2021, 06:36:42 am »
Hi, I'm sorry but I am a bit confused, do you want to transition?  It appears that way as you are taking estrogen, but maybe I'm wrong and you are not wanting to transition.  Can you clarify?  Is it just happening sooner than you were hoping for?  Many people would be happy if they could no longer pass as a boy.

Offline Ellie_Jean

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Re: Considering Socially Transitioning...
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2021, 07:40:55 pm »
Hi, I'm sorry but I am a bit confused, do you want to transition?

...Yes and no? ...I don't want to transition...I want to BE transitioned...if that makes any sense? 😖

It appears that way as you are taking estrogen, but maybe I'm wrong and you are not wanting to transition.  Can you clarify?

The phrasing of the question made my brain glitch a little, but I think I know what you're asking, and I'll do my best to clarify:

Yes; I've been taking estrogen and blockers. I started on February 1st, 2021 at 07:00:31 AM MST. ...Sooo, in approximately twelve hours, it will be roughly nine and a half months that I've been in the process of medically transitioning lol...I'm autistic...I can be very specific about dates, and times, and numbers lol. 😅

Anyhoo....Socially speaking, I don't want to transition...so much as I NEED to transition. 😖

Is it just happening sooner than you were hoping for? 

Very much so this, *points to quoted text above.* 😅

...On the one hand, I love that my body is reacting so well to the HRT, and that I'm starting to see a girl staring back at me in the mirror. ...On the other hand, it's also super terrifying, because my voice in particular doesn't pass at all in my mind, and on Halloween...ugh...I probably just need to make a separate thread about Halloween lol. ...Long story short: Sometimes I passed as a girl...and sometimes I didn't. ...Mostly because of my voice ...I got a lot of weird looks that night...some a little more on the hateful/disgusted side of the spectrum due to seeing me as nothing but a boy dressed like a girl in cowboy country. ...It was my first time dressed-up in public...and it kinda traumatized me. 😶

Many people would be happy if they could no longer pass as a boy.

...Good for them? LOL 🤣

I have way too much social anxiety; transitioning socially is gonna be totally mortifying. 😣
« Last Edit: November 14, 2021, 02:06:06 pm by Ellie_Jean »
“Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we're afraid!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we will fall!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
And they came.
And he pushed.
And they FLEW.

― Guillaume Apollinaire (French Poet; 1880 - 1918)

Offline Nadine Spirit

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Re: Considering Socially Transitioning...
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2021, 08:20:07 am »
Thanks for the clarification.  I think I understand a bit more of where you are at.  The line about wanting to "be" transitioned I think tells the most.  Many of us want that.  Transition is messy sometimes.  I know I would rather be at the end of my transition than somewhere in the middle.  However, transition is not an event, it is not a one time thing, it is more like puberty, it takes time, and generally it can be a very uncomfortable time.  But the longer I go through this process the happier I am. 

Oh, and spending about 2 years in voice therapy seriously helped me.  That alone resolved SO many issues for me. 

Good luck.  You can do this, even if it is earlier than you were hoping for. 

Offline Maid Marion

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Re: Considering Socially Transitioning...
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2021, 08:40:19 am »
I had an opportunity to work with a professional speech therapist twenty years ago on modulating my voice.  It helped tremendously. 

Marion

Offline Ellie_Jean

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Re: Considering Socially Transitioning...
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2021, 02:36:28 pm »
Thanks for the clarification.

...Sorry if I sounded a little snippy before...I've been kinda moody and under the weather lately; nauseous, hot-flashes, irritability...if it gets any worse I might have to go get myself tested for covid, ugh...hate shots and medical settings. 😖

But yeah...anyhoo; I can be somewhat passive-aggressively bitchy at times and try to keep any sass out of my voice...sometimes with greater or lesser success lol. ...Hope I didn't come off as rude before; sorry if I did. 😣

I think I understand a bit more of where you are at.  The line about wanting to "be" transitioned I think tells the most.  Many of us want that.

Right?! I have to really struggle to not get ticked off when one of my friends or family says, "Well, you wanted to transition!" Ugh...I'm pretty sure nobody WANTS to transition lol; they want to BE transitioned, and they need to begin transitioning in order to make that happen someday lol...or maybe my brain just processes information differently and I'm just bein' CRAZY! 😜

Transition is messy sometimes.  I know I would rather be at the end of my transition than somewhere in the middle.  However, transition is not an event, it is not a one time thing, it is more like puberty, it takes time, and generally it can be a very uncomfortable time.

F'real. I've never cried and screamed into my pillows so much before in my life! 😅

But the longer I go through this process the happier I am. 

Same...I think I'm just going through an unhappy period in my life right now.  😕

Oh, and spending about 2 years in voice therapy seriously helped me.  That alone resolved SO many issues for me. 
I had an opportunity to work with a professional speech therapist twenty years ago on modulating my voice.  It helped tremendously. 

That's encouraging to hear! 😊

There was supposed to be a clinic just a hundred or so miles south in Missoula that specialized in voice therapy for trans clients specifically, but when I contacted them, they said they didn't offer those services anymore, and redirected me to both a generic hospital, and a children's speech therapist who worked with trans kids, but after contacting the speech therapist's practice, they never got back to me, and I've been too socially anxious to look for options at the generic looking hospital place, fearing that it's just going to be another dead end. I'm unaware of any professional vocal coaches online offering what I need; I've seen plenty of videos and blogs from random people, but I'd really rather have professional quality voice lessons, because I'm scared to death of taking the wrong advice somewhere, and training the wrong way, and end up ruining my voice somehow. ...I really need to be confident that the person instructing me actually KNOWS what they're doing and that it won't end up hurting me in the future lol. ...Sigh...I feel kinda doomed some days. 😣

Good luck.  You can do this, even if it is earlier than you were hoping for.

Thanks for the advice and support! *Hugz* 🥰

“Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we're afraid!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we will fall!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
And they came.
And he pushed.
And they FLEW.

― Guillaume Apollinaire (French Poet; 1880 - 1918)

Offline Ellie_Jean

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Re: Considering Socially Transitioning...
« Reply #8 on: November 17, 2021, 10:56:14 am »
Ugh...I'm going to a party tonight at a local bar with some friends...thinking of trying to present as female...they pretty much all know I'm trans anyway...I'm just super self-conscious and have social anxiety disorder...but I can't just hide FOREVER...ugh...I'm still conflicted on which "me" to go as tonight...I hate parties...mostly just going because it's been too many months since I've seen my friends, and it's starting to get unhealthy lol. 😖
“Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we're afraid!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we will fall!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
And they came.
And he pushed.
And they FLEW.

― Guillaume Apollinaire (French Poet; 1880 - 1918)

Offline Maid Marion

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Re: Considering Socially Transitioning...
« Reply #9 on: November 17, 2021, 11:42:26 am »
Hi Ellie_Jean,

Good luck with the party tonight!

My wife thought I was autistic, but I never got an official diagnosis, as I'm too well off to benefit from one.

Turns out that presenting as a women, I socialize just fine.  It isn't something I have to think about.
I'll interact and realize what I've done after the fact.  I've never heard of another case like this.

Marion

Offline Ellie_Jean

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Re: Considering Socially Transitioning...
« Reply #10 on: November 17, 2021, 02:15:24 pm »
Thanks! I'll probably post a pic later...going with kinda gender-neutral clothes, high ponytail; nothing too fancy. 😊
“Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we're afraid!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we will fall!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
And they came.
And he pushed.
And they FLEW.

― Guillaume Apollinaire (French Poet; 1880 - 1918)

Offline TXSara

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Re: Considering Socially Transitioning...
« Reply #11 on: November 17, 2021, 04:17:22 pm »
Good Luck!  You'll do great!

Do your friends know to expect Ellie tonight?  I don't know how I would handle it, but I think giving your friends a heads up might help them to be in "welcoming" mode rather than "surprised" mode  ;D

~Sara

Pammie

Re: Considering Socially Transitioning...
« Reply #12 on: November 17, 2021, 04:30:01 pm »
Ugh...I'm going to a party tonight at a local bar with some friends...thinking of trying to present as female...they pretty much all know I'm trans anyway...I'm just super self-conscious and have social anxiety disorder...but I can't just hide FOREVER...ugh...I'm still conflicted on which "me" to go as tonight...I hate parties...mostly just going because it's been too many months since I've seen my friends, and it's starting to get unhealthy lol.
I really don’t think it’s a great idea to not warn people first. People might get stressy. Your call but I woofing it that way in your shoes. Good luck anyway! X


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Offline Ellie_Jean

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Re: Considering Socially Transitioning...
« Reply #13 on: November 17, 2021, 04:44:41 pm »
Good Luck!  You'll do great!

Do your friends know to expect Ellie tonight?


All of them have seen me as Ellie and half of them have never seen me present as male. It would be weird if I showed up NOT as Ellie lol. Ugh. I'm just worried my voice won't pass...too socially anxious to give anyone a warning. ...If I get too stressed I'm just gonna leave and walk home. (Dressing warmly; just bought a new twead sweater and hat for the occasion lol.) 😅
“Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we're afraid!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we will fall!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
And they came.
And he pushed.
And they FLEW.

― Guillaume Apollinaire (French Poet; 1880 - 1918)

Pammie

Re: Considering Socially Transitioning...
« Reply #14 on: November 17, 2021, 04:53:07 pm »
All of them have seen me as Ellie and half of them have never seen me present as male. It would be weird if I showed up NOT as Ellie lol. Ugh. I'm just worried my voice won't pass...too socially anxious to give anyone a warning. ...If I get too stressed I'm just gonna leave and walk home. (Dressing warmly; just bought a new twead sweater and hat for the occasion lol.)
Ah OK. That is very different to how your original post came across


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Offline Ellie_Jean

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Re: Considering Socially Transitioning...
« Reply #15 on: November 17, 2021, 05:52:01 pm »
Ah OK. That is very different to how your original post came across


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

...It's a "kink" group of "friends" lol. ...Not my VANILLA friends. 😅

There's at least three actual friends RSVP'd...but also three enemies. 😑

...Should be fun! 😜

I'll probably just sit quietly sipping margaritas and going somewhere else in my head lol. 😅
“Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we're afraid!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we will fall!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
And they came.
And he pushed.
And they FLEW.

― Guillaume Apollinaire (French Poet; 1880 - 1918)

Offline Ellie_Jean

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Re: Considering Socially Transitioning...
« Reply #16 on: November 18, 2021, 02:56:51 am »
Eeek! It went totally great! I made five new friends, and only saw my three enemies very briefly. Eek! And I officially have a "boyfriend" AND "girlfriend" around my age! (They're a couple who kinda...well, kidnapped me lol. But in like, the BEST way possible rotflol. 🤣)
“Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we're afraid!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
"We can't; we will fall!" they responded.
"Come to the edge!" he said.
And they came.
And he pushed.
And they FLEW.

― Guillaume Apollinaire (French Poet; 1880 - 1918)

Offline Maid Marion

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Re: Considering Socially Transitioning...
« Reply #17 on: November 18, 2021, 05:25:23 am »
Hi Ellie_Jean,

That is great!

Marion

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