May I say to those who think this subject is about being overly sensitive that this is not what is at issue at all. Or should I say, if it is then there are reasons for that.
Those of us who have been living the trans experience for some time know the most common things people say to question our identities.
At no point did the OP specifically state what the context of the statement they made was.
In other words, we do not know what the discussion was that gave rise to the statement that we are all born either male or female.
According to the science this sort of statement is incorrect and there are many examples of how that is so.
The only things we know for certain is that we are born as a human and as a baby.
Which is why some of us bristle at expressions like, born a man or born a woman since nobody is born as an adult person.
Likewise born male or female based solely on the external genitalia which can be ambiguous in the case of an intersex person.
Many of us are familiar with trans oppositional,gender critical, and outright trans hating people using the same or similar statements.
They declare that it is an opinion and not meant to offend anyone.
Opinions are generally based on ones understanding of a subject and when people make statements like the OP, it becomes clear that not enough study has been made of the subject.
Opinions based on minimal understanding are often defined as ignorance, and why not since often times there is a willful ignoring of scientific fact.
This is very easy to research when some effort is made to do so with an open mind and a desire to truly understand.
The introduction of scenarios that have not been mentioned at all by the OP is counterproductive and off topic.
No mention in the OP's story about pronouns, passing, making jokes, or trans community speech.
The subject of discussion is concerning the original statement about how a person is born and the negative reaction received.
It might be called policing when people register their disagreement with the statement but I would offer that we who are trans identified have been policed and kept on the outside of a closed gate for millenia.
It is not only trans people who identify with a binary that are disagreeable to such statements either.
We all live in human societies that are ruled by the 'Normative' rules of life. Cis gender, heterosexual, procreative are the rules for identity. If you are not all three of these things then you are considered a queer person and deserve to be dismissed and shunned as far as normative thinking people are concerned.
Please, can we not see that what is used to identify us at birth is simply what appears between our legs. Further can we have a common understanding that this is not the sole identifier of ones sex or gender regardless of what Normative philosophy compels us to accept as inarguable.
I know someone who was identified as a girl at birth. She lived as a girl and continues to live as a women to this day.
When she was a teen, there was a concern over the fact that she had not yet started menstruating.
After some investigation it was discovered that she has XY chromosomes.
She was identified as a girl because she had a vulva between her legs ( i know, where else would it be) anyway later in life it was found that she also had a vagina.
The testing she underwent showed that she had a vulva, vagina, undescended testes and that she also had androgen insensitivity which explained why she carried on physically and mentally developing rather like a female person.
So, I would ask, was my friend born male or female? Is she cis gender or trans gender? Is she living her life the way she wants or the only way she has known since birth?
In conclusion, the OP who insists that they want everyone to be happy should perhaps make an effort to discuss things in a way that would leave people feeling happy or at least okay with whatever it was that they were contributing their ideas to.
And yes OP, you are a member of the trans spectrum and are entitled to have an opinion and to share your experiences. However it behooves you to do more investigation about why people become unhappy with the statement you made which is not a simple fact, it is an opinion based on a limited understanding. Some of us are trying to express that fact.
