Topic: So what surprised you most during your transition - pleasant, unpleasant or both

[ImAllie]

Curious as to what things people encountered or are encountering (if in the midst of it currently) during transition that they didn’t expect — be it physical changes, emotional or mental ones, senses, etc …. 

Would love to hear the stories of the things that caught you off guard. Hopefully some of them were in a good way, but even those that were unpleasant will be interesting and instructive if you’re willing to share with us.

Thanks!

Love,
Allie

[Northern Star Girl]

@ImAllie
Dear Allie:
Once I went Full Time.... I was amazed how men around me wanted to carry heavy boxes and bags for me, open doors for me,  held my arm when walking on icy sidewalks.... offers to do some snow shoveling for me and other things...

Then, of course, being hit on by men ... and some women.   When I relocated here in my small town as a Full Time woman, and started my CPA business in January of 2017 ... I kinda stood out as a newcomer and as a blonde, blue eyed woman I was the talk of the town.... enjoyable but perhaps a little unsettling at the same time.

A lot of that stuff is at the beginning of my first Blog thread
                 I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles

Here is the very first posting in that thread:
       https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,236395.msg2123029.html#msg2123029

HUGS,
Danielle

[Allie Jayne]

A pleasant surprise for me was the support of the people around me. Part of the reason I put off transition for so long was the fear I would be rejected, but my family, coworkers, and community were super supportive. My ex couldn't stay married to me, and that is fair, but we are still good friends.

One nasty surprise came in the form of breast pain. I used to run a dive club from my home, and go scuba diving most weekends from my dive boat, but 6 months after starting Estrogen, I found my breast pain under water pressure at depth was unbearable, so I had to cease my diving activities. This was a major change in my lifestyle I had not expected, and one which lasted another couple of years.

Hugs,

Allie

[Gina P]

One nasty surprise came in the form of breast pain. I used to run a dive club from my home, and go scuba diving most weekends from my dive boat, but 6 months after starting Estrogen, I found my breast pain under water pressure at depth was unbearable, so I had to cease my diving activities. This was a major change in my lifestyle I had not expected, and one which lasted another couple of years.

Hugs,

Allie

   I can totally understand the breast pain Allie. The least pressure gives me a sharp stabbing pain that causes me to gasp for air. Happens at night when I roll over in bed or lean on something when working. I wonder if there is a hard plastic form that could be worn under a wet suit that would keep the pressure off the breasts for girls in a similar situation.

   As for me the biggest surprise so far is the acceptance and kindness of my family and friends and others that know that I'm trans. As others my fear was my biggest hang up.
     Gigi

[Oldandcreaky]

The Good: When I was in the male role, I was often described as "weird." No more.

The Bad: I have family members who still blunder from time to time and use "he." They've had 40 years to adapt.

The Ugly: I haven't trusted anyone with the story of my past for years. Tell and they talk. Then the people that they tell talk. Down the gossip chain, soon utter strangers have penetrated my most intimate space without my consent. There are never apologies. They all feel entitled.

I've even had some say, "I feel closer to you," while I couldn't feel further from them.

I said a couple times, "If we're so close, reciprocate. Tell me something about you that imperils your career, your finances, and your safety."

Nada, of course.

[sarahc]

I was surprised that 99% of my family and friends accepted me. I recognize that I have been very, very fortunate...

Sarah

[Sephirah]

For me it was the extremes that can occur in people. I saw the best in people when I came out to the first person ever, utterly scared to death, and she was amazing. So warm and understanding. Got me to come here. Way back in the mists of time. To help me come to terms with everything.

But also I've seen the opposite and just how nasty people can be. When they hospitalise you for close to a year just because of who you are. And feel nothing about doing so. Ruin every hope you have for your life just because you're outnumbered and don't think people can be like that. Cause you to have horrible nightmares and think nothing of it.

You can never assume how people are going to be. Some people will be the light in the dark, some people will be the dark itself. People are surprising. Constantly.

[ImAllie]

At Thanksgiving my great niece told me that I was “the greatest chef she’s ever met in her whole life”. She’s seven years old.  I feel about as qualified to answer the question in this thread (which I posted) as she was to discuss the great chefs of the world.

That being said, even in these early days of my transition, I have noticed one thing that did surprise me… how quickly the extraordinary becomes the ordinary.

It wasn’t so long ago I was going in for my first meeting with the electrologist… and then my first session… both with a lot of wide-eyed anticipation… and now it’s just “oh I have my weekly session with my friend Linda” that I look forward to and I don’t even consider how odd it is, or that my wife and talk about it like it’s nothing out of the ordinary, it’s just a part of what I do now.  That happened FAST.

[Nadine Spirit]

Wow, this question can go in so many different directions. Hmmmmmmm.......

how about unpleasant first... 1. how much <not allowed> hurt! Omg they hurt so bad at first, now they're just occasionally sore, but still, ugh! 2. that I would end up wanting and completing bottom surgery. I didn't go into this expecting that. 3. That my employer discriminates against transgender people.

now pleasant... 1. how great I would feel once I had my bottom surgery! 2. How well I pass, (though I hate that idea, I must admit I have that privilege and I never thought I would come anywhere close!) 3. How amazing I feel once I changed my hormones, like just how right it felt. 4. How much my transition would improve my relationship. 5. How much transition would improve my professional life. (I mean it has been tough but overall I am a much better employee now that I'm not obsessing about gender constantly.) 6. That my employer would eventually reverse their position and I was instrumental in changing their policies!

[Allie Jayne]

   I can totally understand the breast pain Allie. The least pressure gives me a sharp stabbing pain that causes me to gasp for air. Happens at night when I roll over in bed or lean on something when working. I wonder if there is a hard plastic form that could be worn under a wet suit that would keep the pressure off the breasts for girls in a similar situation.

     Gigi

Thank you for your suggestion Gigi, unfortunately the physics of water pressure is that it is applied from all directions and so shielding doesn't work.

After reading Nadine's comments, I have to say that the level of dysphoria relief I got from GCS was unexpected. I expected some relief, after all that is why I had the op, but I felt so relieved after it the dysphoria which almost killed me was no longer an issue for me!

Hugs,

Allie

[metal_r]

People are generally more tolerant than I thought. Several businesses have changed my name in their systems without much trouble. Ok, that could be because I tend to visit places with a flag in the window.

I'm surprised at how feminine I am. When I started questioning and transitioning, I thought I was going to be tomboy. I've let myself try girlie stuff, and found the stuff to be fun.

[Northern Star Girl]

People are generally more tolerant than I thought. Several businesses have changed my name in their systems without much trouble. Ok, that could be because I tend to visit places with a flag in the window.

I'm surprised at how feminine I am. When I started questioning and transitioning, I thought I was going to be tomboy. I've let myself try girlie stuff, and found the stuff to be fun.

@metal_r
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[Northern Star Girl]

@metal_r
Dear metal_r

***  ONE more thing............

Please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum to introduce yourself and
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Since the greeting and welcoming stuff is all done, I will hand this
thread back to you and others so the conversation can continue.

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Warm regards,
Danielle

[ChrissyRyan]

People are generally more tolerant than I thought. Several businesses have changed my name in their systems without much trouble. Ok, that could be because I tend to visit places with a flag in the window.

I'm surprised at how feminine I am. When I started questioning and transitioning, I thought I was going to be tomboy. I've let myself try girlie stuff, and found the stuff to be fun.

@metal_r

Welcome to Susan’s!

Chrissy

[Courtney G]

Mine is a bit of a different perspective, since I'm still closeted and only out to a few friends and to my partner. This removes pretty much all of the social/work stuff from my set of experiences. But I still have a few thoughts to contritbute:

1. I'm constantly surprised that I'm now a part of the trans/queer community. In the years before I created a user account on Susan's, I logged in here many times to read about all aspects of transitioning. The input from others here helped me to understand, in some small way, what it means to be trans and what transitioning might be like for me, good, bad and ugly. After decades of looking in from the outside, I now belong here in some way, and I have many many friends. I now have a trans therapist, participate in several online communities, participate in support group meetings in my area, and plan to attend trans-focussed events next year.

2. Even though I dreamed about/wanted breasts for many decades, I'm surprised at how thrilling every single day is with the little ones I have attached to my body. They provide a surprisingly amount of body positivity and pleasure, in more ways that one.

3. Even though I'd expected it to some degree, I'm surprised at the ways in which my libido has changed. I no longer feel pent up, no longer feeling much of a need for some sort of release.

4. I'm surprised at how quickly and effortlessly crying is now. Just one sad (or happy!) thought and the tears start to flow, like it's no big deal.

[ChrissyRyan]

Mine is a bit of a different perspective, since I'm still closeted and only out to a few friends and to my partner. This removes pretty much all of the social/work stuff from my set of experiences. But I still have a few thoughts to contribute:
…

2. Even though I dreamed about/wanted breasts for many decades, I'm surprised at how trilling every single day is with the little ones I have attached to my body. They provide a surprisingly amount of body positivity and pleasure, in more ways that one….

Courtney,

I can relate to the desired body changes being positive.  They are nice to have.

Chrissy

[Northern Star Girl]

The big surprise for most transitioners is how HRT can change your body.
Not everyone gets the same results... it is up to your individual genes.

For some, HRT will work somewhat quickly and with more dramatic results,
and for others it may work more slowly with less visible results.

HRT is not a quick and fast process... many months and even years to
have pronounced results....  Patience is required!!!!

It is important to note that transitioning is not just about HRT but it also
involves the obvious and visible things such as  grooming, clothing,
body movements and motion, voice, etc.
HUGS,
Danielle

[ChrissyRyan]

The big surprise for most transitioners is how HRT can change your body.
Not everyone gets the same results... it is up to your individual genes.

For some, HRT will work somewhat quickly and with more dramatic results,
and for others it may work more slowly with less visible results.

HRT is not a quick and fast process... many months and even years to
have pronounced results....  Patience is required!!!!

It is important to note that transitioning is not just about HRT but it also
involves the obvious and visible things such as  grooming, clothing,
body movements and motion, voice, etc.
HUGS,
Danielle

@Northern Star Girl


I certainly agree with Danielle.

I have found it interesting that at times, your left breast can develop more than the right breast (or the other way around), then over time they get to be about the same size again.


Chrissy

[Courtney G]

I have found it interesting that at times, your left breast can develop more than the right breast (or the other way around), then over time they get to be about the same size again.

After having my first big growth spurt, I was disappointed to find that my left breast was significantly bigger than my right. A little while later, I had another growth spurt and they evened out a bit. Then I had another spurt and the left one got bigger again!! I guess I'm waiting for another spurt in the hope that they even out again.

[ChrissyRyan]

After having my first big growth spurt, I was disappointed to find that my left breast was significantly bigger than my right. A little while later, I had another growth spurt and they evened out a bit. Then I had another spurt and the left one got bigger again!! I guess I'm waiting for another spurt in the hope that they even out again.

I do not know if I will get another growth spurt or not, but when the growth is finished I hope they will be the same size.  They are even now.

Chrissy