Topic: Does it benefit my process to read and hear testimonials of people that have don

[sophieborbolla]

Hey friends!!



I have a this question.



When I had my alignment with my gender, during the process, I tried meeting people like me who had done the process. I tried this like 10 times and for one reason or other they canceled. So, I made peace with the fact that life didnt want me to meet anybody. In retrospect this had benefits for my process. Why? because I started imagining, visualizing and creating my own experience and they way I wanted it to develop. And guess what? everything I visualized came true. My opinion is that I didnt fall into self fulfilling profecies taking other peoples experiences as something that could happen to me.



Now I am walking towards my SRS and I am self consciously wondering if I should create my own experience without hearing others or if It would give me some benefit to hear other peoples experiences...



Thanks for reading me

Sophie

[Jessica_Rose]

Welcome to Susan's Place and the Forums!

I don't want to hijack this thread, but I noticed this is your very first post at Susan's Place! We hope you will find this a safe and friendly place to share information and read about the experiences of others. Susan's Place can be an amazing resource for advice, support, and sympathetic friends. Please feel free to comment on posts, ask questions, or share parts of your life. Some of our members even create their own blogs to document their journeys.

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[Maid Marion]

Everyone has a different path, so yes, there can be advantages to not seeking out others to copy.
I am tiny and easily socialize as a woman pre-HRT.  Just 107 lbs with a 24 inch waist!

Marion

[Allie Jayne]

Due to the lack of knowledge in the medical profession, and society in general, and the amount of disinformation, and outright misleading material out there, I believe it is essential for trans people to seek out the experiences of others to help make good decisions and to avoid the many traps. There is also a psychological benefit in interacting with others sharing your experience. Transition can be tough, and things will often not go the way you expect, so it’s beneficial to have access to others who have faced similar problems to reassure you there are ways forward.

You don’t have to do things the same way others have, but at least be well informed by others with real world experience before you make life changing and permanent decisions. You are determining how your life will be, use every resource available to get it right!

Hugs,

Allie

[Sephirah]

In answer to your question, it really depends. If other people try to tell you that their way is "The Way", or if they have the good sense to realise it's "One Way." The former can be damaging, the latter can be very helpful.

Ultimately, it's your life to live. As long as you keep that forefront in your mind, then you're good. You always create your own experiences because there's only one you. And it's what enriches the world we live in.

[Maid Marion]

Where you live makes a huge difference.  In the USA a lot is determined by health insurance, which is often a function of who you work for.  It can be very advantageous to find an employer who has insurance that will pay for the services you need.

It is much different in the UK and other places with National Health insurance.

Connecticut is an expensive place to live, but there are a lots of services for those who can pay for it.
A lot of highly skilled medical and dental professionals require referrals and don't take insurance.

My wife had issues with ingrown toenails.  There was a doctor who made house calls and only accepted cash payment.

[TXSara]

In answer to your question, it really depends. If other people try to tell you that their way is "The Way", or if they have the good sense to realise it's "One Way." The former can be damaging, the latter can be very helpful.

Ultimately, it's your life to live. As long as you keep that forefront in your mind, then you're good. You always create your own experiences because there's only one you. And it's what enriches the world we live in.

I'm with Sephirah on this one.  I can offer up how I have done things, and I can tell you places where I think I might have done better.  That being said, it has been MY journey and nobody else's.  If you can glean anything from knowing what was going through my mind at each point in time, I think that's great.  I definitely have been helped by reading through the stories of others and asking questions.

Good luck to you, sis!

~Sara

[Gina P]

As my therapist put it "you don't have to reinvent the wheel" support groups and forums can be a great source of knowledge. Susan's adds a great deal to my support network and helps me feel like I'm not alone in this journey. I'm not trying to copy someone else's journey just learn and benefit from it.
   Hugs Gina

[SoCal_Holly]

Absolutely it helps knowing you are not alone on this journey. The moral support is a tremendous relief!

Advice, laughter, and the I can relate to that moments are priceless.

So keep posting everyone, your experiences are more helpful than you can imagine even when you don’t get a ton of replies!

Hugs all,

Holly

[Ms. Grey]

Now I am walking towards my SRS and I am self consciously wondering if I should create my own experience without hearing others or if It would give me some benefit to hear other peoples experiences...



Thanks for reading me

Sophie

I would recommend that your tune everyone out and have your own experience.
The funny part about this question is that it came to me also, while I was in the assessment phase and was searching for answers here on Susan's Place a few years ago.
I decided to turn off the forums and the internet searches and just let it be once I had received approval for the surgery.
After that process I was not expecting anything for many, many months and decided to just let things happen when they happened.
I no longer wanted to know what others had done and I was very tired of people that I knew trying to tell me what I should do and who I should see for the surgery.
I was on a waitlist with a top surgeon and I had someone telling me I would get in faster if I saw the person they already had a date for.
Well, a week or so later I got an email offering dates that where before the date this busybody had. Ultimately I chose a date that was a little later by about two weeks because it was a good fit for me.
There are so many people who will insist that they saw the very best surgeon, had the very best surgery outcome and made the very best friends with other trans women at the facility during recovery.
In the end I was glad to have turned off the "noise" of the internet and make my own decisions and have my own experience which turned out just fine. It was a wonderful mystery that unfolded, I did not and do not need anyone's advice on how to care for and about myself.