Author Topic: Dealing with the death of a loved one  (Read 3690 times)

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whatsername

Dealing with the death of a loved one
« on: July 19, 2008, 08:34:01 pm »
I have noticed a few people on the boards referring to Goddess and gods.  While I'm not Wiccan, I'm just sort of vaguely neo-pagan, with a love of Brigid, and respect for Kali, Cerridwen and Morrigan, I fit better in this category than "Other" and I wanted to ask for some advice.

My grandmother is dying.  I only just found this out less than a week ago, and her oncologist has given her only maybe two weeks left.  She's really not eating, there is a blockage interfering with that.  She has chosen to forgo treatment because the cancer is terminal and she would prefer to go out not all drugged up and in pain from chemo, etc.  While intellectually I understand and agree with her decision, emotionally...it's more complicated.  I don't want her to go.

We're having a ceremony for her tomorrow, to share our love with her, spend time with her, and to help her soul along it's journey, to help her feel she can let go when she's ready.

Do any of you fellow pagan type folk have something up your sleeve for dealing with this?  A ritual?  A blessing?  A song, chant or meditation that I can use to help myself come to terms and help her along her way?  I found two things online, but not much else.  I've called to the spirits of my ancestors and friends who have passed on in ritual at Samhain, but that's all, I don't have much ritual practice at all.  I don't have a specific path and we've moved around so much I haven't been able to put down roots with a group to help me with this.

I don't want for her to die and regret doing nothing on my part...

Elwood

Re: Dealing with the death of a loved one
« Reply #1 on: July 19, 2008, 09:54:19 pm »
Hmm.

My 14 year old cat Missy died a few days ago. My period of grieving was the worst the day after her death (that was also the day I found out about it) but since I've felt really numb and kind of empty... I think that's a natural grieving process that is necessary and cannot be prevented.

I don't have a religion or a God to ask help from. I just work with myself, reassure myself that death is a necessary part of life... we all have to face it someday.

I know a lot of religious people build alters and send positive energy and feelings to the person who is dying or has died and their friends and family who are undergoing a grieving process. Not sure if that's a Pagan ritual, though.

I hope you find some good rituals and technique to help with her passing.

NicholeW.

Re: Dealing with the death of a loved one
« Reply #2 on: July 19, 2008, 10:04:46 pm »
HI, Wahtsername,

You might want to read through these and find anything you may feel appropriate.

If not do a google search for "Summerland Rituals" we have some we have done, but they are all in Earth Ritual books I cannot share on-line, alas. Hugs to you and your grandmother.

You both reat in Mother's arms, as you both forever do.

Hugs,

Nichole

whatsername

Re: Dealing with the death of a loved one
« Reply #3 on: July 19, 2008, 11:05:04 pm »
Thanks to all of you, I appreciate the thoughts and sharings.

Nichole, I will be looking through that site, thank you.  I have found some Summerland stuff, but most of it for someone who has already passed.  Not so much for the help with the passing itself.  Perhaps I will simply know what to do...

cindianna_jones

Re: Dealing with the death of a loved one
« Reply #4 on: July 19, 2008, 11:05:44 pm »
whatsername,

Make up your own.  It seems as though your niche is self defined.  Why should your ritual be anything less.  Make it personal and special.  You need not copy something that someone else has done.  They know nothing of you and you nothing of them.  

I'm truly sorry for your impending loss.  It must be quite trying and difficult.  May you be well.

Cindi

whatsername

Re: Dealing with the death of a loved one
« Reply #5 on: July 19, 2008, 11:08:35 pm »
Make up your own.  It seems as though your niche is self defined.  Why should your ritual be anything less.

Yes, this is definitely the ideal.  Unfortunately I don't have much of a symbolism even to work with.  I'm much better when I have something to start the "creative juices" flowing so to speak.

To be honest it's also nice having the research to distract me...

Offline Sephirah

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Re: Dealing with the death of a loved one
« Reply #6 on: July 20, 2008, 06:54:56 am »
Maybe this will be of some benefit to you.

*hugs* My thoughts are with you.
"It's hard to light a candle, easy to curse the dark instead." ~ Nightwish: Last Ride Of The Day

whatsername

Re: Dealing with the death of a loved one
« Reply #7 on: July 20, 2008, 11:46:36 am »
Thank you everyone, the ceremony is today. :)

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