Author Topic: What about parents?  (Read 14594 times)

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beth

Re: What about parents?
« Reply #20 on: July 04, 2005, 11:47:45 pm »
I remember Jessica's first post and how much i wanted her to come back and join us. i am so glad that she has done so very well in such a short time. We all need people like her parents in our lives, but they are so rare.







beth

Offline Alison

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Re: What about parents?
« Reply #21 on: July 05, 2005, 02:38:17 am »
I remember Jessica's first post and how much i wanted her to come back and join us. i am so glad that she has done so very well in such a short time. We all need people like her parents in our lives, but they are so rare.

Me too - I wanted her to find comfort in this area like Jaycie has... (eventhough she doesn't post :P lol) and the rest of you.... So happy!

And I agree... women are expensive!  sheesh!  Jaycie has gotten more new clothes, shoes and makeup the last month than I have lol

stephanie_craxford

Re: What about parents?
« Reply #22 on: July 05, 2005, 06:46:04 am »
A good support system is one of the key elements to a successful transition.  While it's not always necesary, it does take the preasure off knowing that no matter what, there is always someone you can turn to.  My wife is key to me as is Susans', life would be a whole lot more complicated without both of them  :)

Cloths, shoes, make-up...  don't say that too loud...   :)  I think that I have a shopping problem, well at least my wife does  :)  I don't know what it is I just love to shop now.  I could sort of understand if I lived in town, but I live out in the country and it takes me 45 minutes to get to the stores

wajdi

Re: What about parents?
« Reply #23 on: July 05, 2005, 04:41:43 pm »
I understand shopping.  Clothing and accessories are like me and fishing stuff, LOL.

Denise01

Re: What about parents?
« Reply #24 on: July 05, 2005, 09:51:51 pm »
Jess is so very fortunate to have supportive parents, and I  have great respect for parents that support as well as you do.

When it comes to shopping,, I love it too, and  as a girl at heart, we cannot seem to get enough of it

I too live quite a distance from where I can go shopping in comfort, and  have to travel at least 1 1/2 hours to get to  a city where I feel comfortable.

I wish you all the very best, and look forward to hearing how things are progressing

Denise:

Terri-Gene

Re: What about parents?
« Reply #25 on: July 06, 2005, 02:59:43 am »
shopping is getting to be a strange affair for me also,  used to be, I knew what I wanted, I went to where I knew I could get it, purchase it and I had what I wanted, nothing more, nothing less.  Now I go in with a basic idea of things i might want.  look around and see if anything in the store strikes my fancy, if something does, how does it fit in?  is it making, or saving money for me? or, is it just eating cash because it can?  just gotta ask me that one before I lay down the cash.  sometimes that question makes it less attractive.  No problem though, buy any or not, I have a good time.

Terri

AmyNYC

Re: What about parents?
« Reply #26 on: July 06, 2005, 06:18:27 pm »
wajdi,

Lots of people here have already said it, but I'll say it again.  Jess is very lucky to have the parents that she does.  I haven't heard of too many parents that accept there child's GID unconditionally like you have.  My Mom and Step-Dad are just like you guys.  I am one of the lucky ones, and I try and not forget that.

Speaking from the perspective of someone who's already well into transition and has incredibly loving & accepting parents, I know that the support they've given me throughout this ordeal has been a blessing.  I can't imagine anyone being unsuccessful in transition when they have parents like me and your daughter.

As for helping her through it, just be there for her.  As Beth said, there's no need to try & lead her.  A lot of the problems I've had to deal with were problems that I had to deal with, and me alone.  Sure, my Mom was there to listen when I needed to vent, but what has meant the most to me is that my entire family has treated me like I was Amy my whole life.  That's what I needed more than anything.  And again, I agree with Beth... Jess needs to go at her own pace.  A lot of the stages she's going to go through she probably won't know are coming till they already are there.  I didn't know I was going to go part-time until the day I decided to do it.  But when I did, it was when I wanted to, without any prodding from anyone else, and it was the right time.

Yeah, I'm a shop-a-holic now.  Even if I don't buy anything, I spend at least 3-4 days a week shopping.  Today I was was at the mall for 3 hours.  I went in a dozen shops, each for a considerable amount of time, and ended up buying two tops, both considerably marked down.  (I hate paying full price for anything!!!)  Whenever my friends call me and ask me what I'm doing, I invariably say, "Shopping."  They all know better than to even ask anymore.  I think the salesgirls in Express recognize me now.

Sometimes I wonder if I shop too much, but then I realize that as long as I'm not spending money that's supposed to be going elsewhere, why not?  I'm a girl now, and I love to shop!  And I'm a musician, so I have lots of free time.   ;D

Best of luck wadji,
Amy

Offline Dennis

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Re: What about parents?
« Reply #27 on: July 09, 2005, 12:56:57 pm »
My mum went to New York and brought me back cufflinks and a bottle of scotch. I think she's getting it!

(Nice cufflinks too, but she could use a lesson in single malts)

:)

Dennis

wajdi

Re: What about parents?
« Reply #28 on: July 09, 2005, 04:41:04 pm »
I want to thank all of ya'll for your kind words and advice.  As Dennis (the hurricane) approaches, we'd all appreciate any prayers on our behalf directed at whatever diety or dieties ya'll believe in.  Ivan hit us last fall, and recovery efforts are still incomplete from that storm.  Dennis (NOT the hurricane), I used to be rather fond of Glenlivet and/or Glenfiddich.  Livet is a tad better than fiddich, but I wouldn't turn either of them down.  Thanks again for the words of wisdom.  I STILL can't believe that parents don't have their kids happiness as their foremost priority.  Maybe it's presumptive of me, but. . . what a bunch of jerks.  Too bad there isn't some sort of test folks have to take to prove their fitness prior to becoming parents.


Offline Dennis

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Re: What about parents?
« Reply #29 on: July 09, 2005, 07:17:11 pm »
Yeah, it was Glenfiddich, so wasn't too bad a choice at all. I'm quite fond of Cardhu, but it's hard to find. I like Glenlivet too.

Dennis (not the hurricane)

Leigh

Re: What about parents?
« Reply #30 on: July 10, 2005, 12:42:50 am »
Too bad there isn't some sort of test folks have to take to prove their fitness prior to becoming parents.

There is a test.  Its called being heterosexual.  That fulfuills all the criteria the states and feds care about.

Shelley

Re: What about parents?
« Reply #31 on: July 10, 2005, 03:54:19 am »
I'm with you Wadji,

As a parent of six I can't understand parents who don't just love their kids as they are.

Ellen

Re: What about parents?
« Reply #32 on: July 10, 2005, 12:25:21 pm »
I agree completly
i have three wonderfull kids and i would support them what ever they choose , i might try to see if they really know what they are doing but i wouldnt try to change their minds.
well mayby try a little, have to butt in some... Ellen

Svetlana

Re: What about parents?
« Reply #33 on: August 08, 2005, 01:18:07 am »
hmm... a parents test...

unfortunately, sex is held sacred above all else in this society, it seems, goodness knows why.  held above childrens' best interests... in lots of ways... a "good parent test" or equivalent being one of them... and not even the worst one (!!)

that makes me really sad, you know :'( people will put another session of selfish animal pleasure seeking above their responsibilities to the creation of new lifeforms... and the rule of law teaches them, "that's perfectly okay.  your children ARE your property - and the more you have, the more money we'll give you, thus instilling that impression!"  i for one (amongst many) don't think that's right.  "oh, and we could never, ever dare do anything to restrict people having sex whenever they damn well felt like it without giving a damn about the consequences."  no, you couldn't do that, could you... that would be morally wrong, wouldn't it?  sheesh.

you seem like one of the best parents in the world.  i echo that sentiment completely, made by many others here.  i also, sadly, realise that perhaps my own parents aren't quite as good as i think of them as.  and that's the first time i've ever said, or seriously considered, that.  they're nothing, absolutely nothing, like the kind of people i was having a go at in the above paragraph, nothing at all like that.  yet with all else the love you might hope for they show me - two things stand out - neither will call me properly - neither will talk about it.  so unusual of them.  don't know why, just don't know why.  so confusing.

i am jealous.  she is really lucky.  it's a sad fact that you have to be "lucky", but it's true.  you have entirely a great attitude.  i'm sure your daughter's life is made a lot easier for it... really i couldn't explain all the difference even the smallest little thing makes in this way... good for you.

Leigh

Re: What about parents?
« Reply #34 on: August 08, 2005, 08:16:47 am »



that makes me really sad, you know :'( people will put another session of selfish animal pleasure seeking above their responsibilities to the creation of new lifeforms... and the rule of law teaches them, "that's perfectly okay.  your children ARE your property - and the more you have, the more money we'll give you, thus instilling that impression!"  i for one (amongst many) don't think that's right.  "oh, and we could never, ever dare do anything to restrict people having sex whenever they damn well felt like it without giving a damn about the consequences."  no, you couldn't do that, could you... that would be morally wrong, wouldn't it?  sheesh.

 

I find it difficult to understand your rambling but:  Are you advocating if its not for procreation sex should be abstained from?

Svetlana

Re: What about parents?
« Reply #35 on: August 08, 2005, 03:20:59 pm »
sorry - i do ramble.  i'm not very good at wording things and i oftentimes get convoluted.

maybe having a baby without registering to be capable of parenting it first (or without special circumstances (such as rape)) should be a crime.  that would stop people shagging like nobody's business without a thought or a care... or at least punish them for bringing a life into the world without the means or the will to give it the life it deserves at bare minimum.

maybe social attitudes should shift so that it's no longer acceptable for parents to be so possessive about 'their' children.  ie. one phrase in particular - "how dare you tell me how to raise my children!" - demonstrates the seriousness of that part of the situation.  well if you won't accept advice from anybody, how ever are you going to learn?  and if somebody else thinks something's wrong, isn't it in your childrens' best interests to at least listen to what they have to say?  stuff like that.

disowning a family member should also be something that's very difficult to do - as should be opting to neglect to give a damn.  like i say, people who aren't going to give a damn, shouldn't make babies!  that's why the whole "official setup" thing i suggest in the second paragraph in this reply would be so helpful - it doesn't assume that a family take on the responsibility - it requires it.  and if something goes wrong, explanations must be heard, and reasons argued over.  so you lose a little privacy maybe.  i'd swap that for the prevention of bad blood and broken homes from being a commonplace occurrence, anyday.  in fact, forget marriage altogether - make it for the rights to make babies instead - that would be much more practical.

firstly, i don't agree with casual sex just for the high.  if you're going to do that, just get a damn toy.  same high.  no messing with peoples' lives.  lots of problems solved there.... i wouldn't think going about legislating that would do any good however - changing peoples' attitudes and perceptions - much more effective than just simply changing laws.  with today's media machine, it shouldn't be very difficult, either!!

i don't know... it just seems like sex > everything, these days.  when i hear of stuff like rapists not being kept away from non-rapists for the ACTUAL remainder of their lives... and likewise paedophiles away from children... it just saddens me.  what possible justification is there for that?  WHY are these people not neutered?  don't gimme that "it's all about the power, not the sex" argument - doesn't really make a difference here - given a choice between being beaten up and being raped, i know which i'd go for - and neutering prevents the other, so it's useful... NOT for retribution.  NOT for a vague sense of what's right.  for the thing and the only thing which is important - to prevent it from ever happening again, or in the first place, as much as possible.

so why don't they do that?  why does this seem 'extreme' to them?  why is it considered 'unfair' or 'undue' punishment?  barbaric?  what then about the victim, was that not infinitely more barbaric?  so why not then?  my guess - "because it's sex, and sex is sacred and we can't touch anything to do with sex".  or something stupid like that.  i don't know.

it just sickens me, the way sex is everywhere and everything is something to do with sex.  it's a bloody disease of some kind or something.  why can't it just simply be what it actually is and nothing more?  people should treat it with the respect it deserves, not as some kind of "gimme x1000" free automatic privelege to be abused at will!  my theorey is that it's that kind of environment which causes a LOT of the problems of the modern world - including children being disowned when discovered to be <not allowed> one issue amongst so many others.  caused by the environment... environment caused by attitudes... attitudes pumped through the idiot box and absorbed by idiots.  unfortunately there are lots of people about who can't be bothered to not be an idiot.

you know what i heard on the news a few months ago?  teacher caught abusing her position with a minor.  friggin' child abuser.  what did she get?  NOT A YEAR.  NOT EVEN A SINGULAR BLEEDIN' YEAR.  should be life = life = life = rest of natural life with no reduction, and instead it's a ruddy few months.  what has the world come to?  she was smiling, too!  she didn't give a damn!  she didn't get punished at all - she effectively PURCHASED an abuse session with a 15-y-old kid.  bloody purchased it for a few months of lock-up, buy now pay later.  horrible just horrible.

i'm sorry i know i go on about this too much, but can you blame me for being paranoid and angry at the state of things when this is the world we are meant to be thankful for living in?

...

...

okay, i've calmed down now.  it just... boils my blood, i'm afraid, when i get on that subject.

the original thing i was only ever going to say before going off on a complete tangent... simply a comment on how refreshing it is to read that there are still good decent caring people about.

Shelley

Re: What about parents?
« Reply #36 on: August 08, 2005, 04:15:26 pm »
I agree Svetland,

It was dsigusting yet a male did the same thing with a girl and went to gaol. It is an abuse of trust. I don't send my kids to school to be taken advantage of by someone in a position of trust.

Our kids are a very precious comodity and as adults it is our job to nurture them into the world of adults.

Shelley

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