And the bigot of the month award goes to...

[Luc]

Okay. I don't typically tend to be overly sensitive, though since going full-time just over 2 weeks ago I have been more wary of those around me and their impressions of how I present. I have had a couple of people look at me a little funny, but for the most part, I pass.

Yesterday, I went to a local gas station to purchase cigarettes. Yes, bad habit. But it is quite legal. I asked the woman behind the counter for a pack of my brand, which she got out, then asked for my ID. I said, "sure," and she said, "yeah, that's right!"

I showed her my ID, she looked at it a moment, then picked up the cigarettes and started to put them back behind the counter. She said, "you don't want these, do you?" When I said of course I did, she said, "well, you don't have to cop an attitude. I don't have to sell you these." I told her I wasn't giving her an attitude, and put my money on the counter. She said, "no. You're not buying these here. Get out."
I was aghast. I asked if I could speak with her manager, and she said he/she was not there. I asked for the manager's name, and she said, "No. I can't tell you that. Get out. Just leave."

I could not believe how I had been treated. No, I do not know for certain that she reacted so harshly because I look like a man but my ID says female. I don't know that. She was being slightly testy prior to seeing my ID, but escalated once she had. I, mind you, was born in 1982, and am thus 6 years past the date needed to buy cigarettes. There was nothing illegal in my buying them. She said nothing indicating she doubted the validity of my identification card. I went to another location of the same chain gas station and bought the same cigarettes with no difficulty; when I told them of the situation I had just encountered they were astonished. I will be contacting the store manager at this gas station to inform him/her of the situation.

Again, I am not saying outright that this was caused by my being TS, or my being read as TS. I am saying I cannot imagine why anyone would treat another person in such a manner.

Rafe

[stephanie_craxford]

Go for it Rafe, you've got nothing to loose.  I would contact them in person and in writing, making sure that you CC the owners of the gas station, and the "Better Business Bureau", and any Human Rights Office in the area just to show them you mean business.

Steph

[tinkerbell]

I am so sorry, Rafe, that you had to go through this horrible incident.  Oh...you have no idea how I would have loved to be there with you! 
My poor liver is saying "Stop Tink, you are killing me with your anger!", so I'd better calm down for now...

Try to contact them in person, by mail, by telephone, by email, by whatever means...this is just not right and has to stop!


tinkerbell

[Cindi Jones]

I'd sue for discrimination.  For whatever reason she would not sell them to you, it seems clear that it was discriminatory.

Cindi

[Hazumu]

Lady at the TG support group likes to tell the story of the night she got some bigoted schmuck's job.

She was going through the drive-through, and trying to get her recently-developed female voice loud enough to be heard over a rumpety Cummins-diesel-powered SUV behind her.

The bigot on the other end of the box finally said, after rising frustration having her repeat parts of the order, "What ARE you??? Some kind of FAGGOT!!!??"

Stephanie waited to visually identify the voice that had spoken those words, paid for her order, then marched inside and demanded to see the manager.

"What can I do for you, ma'am?"

"I want his job!", and she proceeded to explain the incident, and told the manager he did not want such a person working for his store.  She then assured him that if she didn't get a letter stating the bigot had been fired over the incident, she would sue the corporation for discrimination and abusing her civil rights.

She got the letter.

It reminds me of how I survived in Junior High and High School by fighting back when necessary.  I NEVER took pleasure in it, but I noted that afterwards my tormentors kept a respectful distance.

Karen

[jaded]

again sorry bro i hate that you had to go through that but it is something i have already gotten used to

[Julie Marie]

Rafe, who knows what her problem was.  It's possible she thought you were handing her a false ID.  She saw a guy but your ID had an "F" on it.  No matter, she was way out of line.  And her refusal to cooperate with your requests reeks of discrimination.  If you want her fired, go for it.  But maybe meeting with her manager and having her apologize, while you act in a civilized manner, will show her you're a person deserving of her respect instead of an irate customer who wants her head.  If she got fired she'd carry this prejudice with her a long way, blaming you and "your kind" for losing her job.  Revenge usually keeps the flames fanned.  If it's possible, don't give her any more fuel to keep the fires of prejudice blazing.

Julie

[Fusion]

Its this kind of discriminatory behavior that gets me so angry and all riled up. usually I dont get mad about things...but its this kind of stuff that makes me want to stand up and do sumthin about it. 

[umop ap!sdn]

If she got fired she'd carry this prejudice with her a long way, blaming you and "your kind" for losing her job.

I have to agree. It's awful that this happened to you, Rafe, and I know all too well the sense of defensiveness and wanting to retaliate that we get when we're discriminated against, but I also know what it's like to be on the receiving end.

[Mario]

Dude,
    She was way out of line no matter what she thought. See if they had one of those signs on the door "we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone" if they don't, then there's a lawsuit for ya.

                                            Marco

[Kismet]

I bet she thought you were the sexiest damn thing to walk into her lame, overpriced gas station crisp-packed store at which she gets paid minimum wage to work at, and when she saw your ID had an immediate moment of sexual insecurity at seeing how you were a "chick."

She was just having PMS. Don't worry dude. I don't get chicks either.
But I try.
I really, really try. @_O

[nonie]

Careful Draeden...  I freakin hated it when I was presenting as a female and people used the "Whatever, PMS, she's a chick" line to invalidate my actions and emotions - I'm not defending this horrible person, I'm just saying, we FTMs sometimes fall into mysogynistic lines of thought.  Women are accountable for their behavior at all times, and so are we.

[Ricki]

Discrimination i'll bite on that a little..
Honestly working in the customer service world & OH WHAT A PLEASURE IT IS
I think number one she may of read a little of you then your id maybe rectified her feelings.. So then the homophobia attitude starts, you're not normal to my world i live in get out of it and do not come into my space.. Love these closed minded people ooh so much!
So that goes to number 2.  wrong is wrong does not matter if you were in a gorilla outfit, she should of been courteous, friendly, service orientated and waited on you like any other customer. 
number 3 hearing your side tells me (age not withstanding) she was immature and not very well trained.  She could of just nicely said "sorry you can understand my confusion with this as long as i can assertain this is a valid dl i'd be more than happy to sell you the cigarettes, please be patient with me i do not want to get in trouble or lose my job and do the wrong thing."...
How hard is this?
God!  I know Mikko i am not defending her one bit if this was one of my employees and they did this i honestly would feel i would have to suspend or fire them for completely innappropriate actions and customer service.
World as proven evryday and people as proven everyday are not all nice!
Hang in there!
This will make you feel better..
I have a postal money order called the po yesterday to get staurday window times guy says 8:00am-12:00pm, i go at 8:30am (this is 4 miles accross town) and the doors locked sign says 9:00am-12:00m, go back at 9:15am wait in line the postal cashier says i cannot cash this i only have 100.00 in my drawer i just opened? (the stupid check is only 150.00) he starts on about driving to the next town over to their post office.. and he kept just stating it all over and over i only have this in my drawer, da da da.. there are like 4 people behind me in line i lose patience i nicely say you know if you stop talking and listen to me maybe you will understand why i am upset and what my issues are! and i quickly stated the two trips thus far, that the next town is 24 mile round trip drive which is retarded to even suggest-since there is a po 4 miles from me? DAH,  and if i come back at 11:45am i better not hear some story about not having enough money to cash a dumb check for 150.00, he started rambling on again i walked away barking you do not have to explain anything to me i'll be back, (hehe swartzenager, I'll be back!  dude oh my god man the guy could be like a nut job and when i go back he could attack me or something>  commit one of those postal episodes? ugghh)
hehe
R



Posted on: October 28, 2006, 09:04:02 AMthird trip to the post office, did it i got my check cashed and the guy apologized and all is right with the world now!
R