Author Topic: So how does one find a guy who's cool with the gender gap?  (Read 6305 times)

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Offline Nimetön

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Re: So how does one find a guy who's cool with the gender gap?
« Reply #20 on: March 28, 2010, 02:58:27 am »
There is a dating site for FtMs.  I have asked Susan for permission to post the link; I'm curious to know what your opinions are.  I don't have an account there, not currently being on the market, so I've nothing more to add at this time.

Susan has permitted the matter; the site is called "Love my FtM" and may be found via Google.

 - N
While it is entirely possible that your enemy entertains some irrational prejudice against you, for which you bear no responsibility... have you entertained the possibility that you are wrong?

Offline Silver

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Re: So how does one find a guy who's cool with the gender gap?
« Reply #21 on: March 28, 2010, 03:03:06 am »
Actually, that's exactly what 'squicked' is supposed to mean.  It's supposed to imply that you're not being hateful about it.

For example, someone could say 'gay sex disgusts me' which implies that the person has some level of hatred/prejudice towards gay people.

On the other hand, someone can say 'gay sex squicks me out' which is supposed to imply that the person doesn't have anything against gay people, but that the idea of gay sex makes them extremely uncomfortable.

A more verbose explanation:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=squick

I don't see the point of this.

Offline sneakersjay

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Re: So how does one find a guy who's cool with the gender gap?
« Reply #22 on: March 28, 2010, 06:51:33 am »
I hope to minimize the risk by not coming on to any man at a group I want to keep attending. I plan to use my group connections for networking, meeting other men. And then see if I find anyone I'm interested in. I wouldn't out myself unless it looked like things were going somewhere serious.

It's also good to get involved in groups that aren't necessarily queer. If you're interested in manga, join a couple of manga groups. Or try something new that you're interested in. You never know whom you'll meet. But be patient and be careful.

This.


Jay



Teknoir

Re: So how does one find a guy who's cool with the gender gap?
« Reply #23 on: March 28, 2010, 09:18:37 am »
I hope to minimize the risk by not coming on to any man at a group I want to keep attending. I plan to use my group connections for networking, meeting other men. And then see if I find anyone I'm interested in. I wouldn't out myself unless it looked like things were going somewhere serious.

Sensible way to go about it.

I think dating in the primary part of your social circle is a bad idea, even if you aren't trans. Creates too much drama. I think the key to increasing your chances of finding dateable people is to increase your circle of "extended" aquaintences.

Offline Arch

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Re: So how does one find a guy who's cool with the gender gap?
« Reply #24 on: March 28, 2010, 04:14:27 pm »
I think dating in the primary part of your social circle is a bad idea, even if you aren't trans. Creates too much drama.

You're not kidding. Our men's coming out group advises that guys in the group not get sexually involved with other guys in the group. I feel that this is a good guideline. My trans coming out group did not establish such a prohibition until after a friend of mine got involved with someone else in the group and the relationship went haywire. Then both parties felt weird about going to a group that was giving them support at a critical point in their lives. I love my buddy, but I had to listen to endless talk about the relationship and how awkward it was that the other guy was in the community and going to the groups and should my buddy go or not because he knew the other guy needed the group, and...and...and...bleah.)

In my gay men's discussion group (which doesn't prohibit people from getting involved with other group members), I actually make it an ironclad rule for myself. It came in handy when a creepy new guy from the group started hitting on me. I'm starting to get that vibe about another creepy guy as well...I'm doing everything I can to appear uninterested, and if he makes a move, I'll just tell him that I don't get involved with past or current members of the group. (I specifically mention past members because sometimes people like to stop and start, and I wouldn't want to close off any avenues for them...yeah, that's just an excuse. I don't want some guy quitting the group just so he can get a date with me. Maybe I flatter myself, but I'm pretty wary after that first fellow seemed so keen. I mean, he was telling the waitress that he was hoping to "get lucky" tonight. ::) And he was talking about me.)

Best to be safe.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

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Offline Arch

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Re: So how does one find a guy who's cool with the gender gap?
« Reply #25 on: March 28, 2010, 09:28:37 pm »
We're all, obviously, at least somewhat bisexual.

Ah, yes, I was going to ask about this and forgot. What exactly do you mean by "bisexual"? Capable of having sex with males and females, or sexually attracted to both males and females? 'Cause if it's the first, well, yes, it is obvious. If the second, I would tend to disagree. I'm not in the least sexually attracted to women. And believe me, I have tried.
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Offline kyril

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Re: So how does one find a guy who's cool with the gender gap?
« Reply #26 on: March 28, 2010, 09:44:06 pm »
Ah, yes, I was going to ask about this and forgot. What exactly do you mean by "bisexual"? Capable of having sex with males and females, or sexually attracted to both males and females? 'Cause if it's the first, well, yes, it is obvious. If the second, I would tend to disagree. I'm not in the least sexually attracted to women. And believe me, I have tried.
I think he was talking about guys who are into trans men, not people in general.



Offline Nimetön

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Re: So how does one find a guy who's cool with the gender gap?
« Reply #27 on: March 28, 2010, 09:47:50 pm »
When encountering a binary dilemma of interpretation, act according to your priorities.  If you wish to understand the statement in context, choose the interpretation consistent with previous results.  If you're just spoiling for a fight, choose the alternate.

 - N
While it is entirely possible that your enemy entertains some irrational prejudice against you, for which you bear no responsibility... have you entertained the possibility that you are wrong?

Offline Arch

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Re: So how does one find a guy who's cool with the gender gap?
« Reply #28 on: March 28, 2010, 10:32:31 pm »
When encountering a binary dilemma of interpretation, act according to your priorities.  If you wish to understand the statement in context, choose the interpretation consistent with previous results.  If you're just spoiling for a fight, choose the alternate.

Okay, I'm a dodo. It was the way I read the sentence about liberal/conservative and rich/poor and all of that, plus the sentence that followed. You suddenly seemed to be talking about a much larger group, like FTMs in general or something like that. So it seems that this group of three is very diverse. Cool.

And I should tell you that I am rarely, if ever, spoiling for a fight. The T hasn't messed me up THAT much.

P.S. Please remember that I'm accustomed to reading student writing. When I encounter someone who articulately says what he means, I just have no idea what to do with that. >:-)
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter

Offline Nimetön

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Re: So how does one find a guy who's cool with the gender gap?
« Reply #29 on: March 28, 2010, 10:52:25 pm »
P.S. Please remember that I'm accustomed to reading student writing. When I encounter someone who articulately says what he means, I just have no idea what to do with that. >:-)

This is hilarious.  Yes, I understand entirely.

On another subtopic, I am very curious hear opinions on "Love my FtM."

 - N
While it is entirely possible that your enemy entertains some irrational prejudice against you, for which you bear no responsibility... have you entertained the possibility that you are wrong?

Offline Arch

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Re: So how does one find a guy who's cool with the gender gap?
« Reply #30 on: March 28, 2010, 11:03:23 pm »
On another subtopic, I am very curious hear opinions on "Love my FtM."

I don't think there's any prohibition about starting a topic about a dating site...I've seen topics about Mango and commercial sites.

And if you put it in a sufficiently provocative subject line, you might pique people's interest and get them to check out the site.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter

Offline Nimetön

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Re: So how does one find a guy who's cool with the gender gap?
« Reply #31 on: March 28, 2010, 11:17:49 pm »
I don't think there's any prohibition about starting a topic about a dating site...I've seen topics about Mango and commercial sites.

And if you put it in a sufficiently provocative subject line, you might pique people's interest and get them to check out the site.

Susan is allowing me to refer to a dating site as it is.  If I 'titillate' in the process, I suspect that she would consider it an imposition upon her tolerance.

I'll start the topic as soon as I'm done with the meeting that I am currently sitting in.

 - N

P.S. I'd titillate an ocelot, if only I knew how.
While it is entirely possible that your enemy entertains some irrational prejudice against you, for which you bear no responsibility... have you entertained the possibility that you are wrong?

Offline Arch

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Re: So how does one find a guy who's cool with the gender gap?
« Reply #32 on: March 29, 2010, 12:55:00 am »
P.S. I'd titillate an ocelot, if only I knew how.

I think it would take an ofelot to titillate an ocelot.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter

Teknoir

Re: So how does one find a guy who's cool with the gender gap?
« Reply #33 on: March 29, 2010, 02:02:19 am »
I think it would take an ofelot to titillate an ocelot.

I would have said you needed a blue whale.

(Cue the sirens! -10 points! :laugh:)

On another subtopic, I am very curious hear opinions on "Love my FtM."

Is it still being actively developed?

All in all, looks like a nice little project. They do need to get the "word out" to expand their userbase though. And perhaps expand their site to cater to "friend making" as well as dating - widen the appeal to pull more users in.

Take into account this is the opinion of someone who has never so much as looked at the front page of a dating site before, let alone had an account. So my opinion could be way off.

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