Is there a letdown after SRS?

[jamie nicole]

In 37 days I will have my SRS and I am very anxious and counting down the days.  My therapist warned me in advance that when I am about 6 weeks post-op, a feeling of depression will set in having accomplished this major goal......she said that with nothing more to look forward to surgery wise, depression will termporarily set in.  For those who are post op, is this true?

[Kristyn]

Your therapist is partially right, but it's not so much that there is nothing to look forward to as it is a change in your hormones and psychology.  People go into this with a particular mindset of having great expectations of what they are going to do and how different life is going to be but, what they fail to realize is that, sometimes things don't pan out as planned.

There are a lot of changes taking place during the first year and you are also chained to your dilators and maintenance routine--this gives you a lot of time to think.  Sometimes things go wrong and sometimes the healing takes longer than expected.  Sometimes the swelling and puffiness could go well beyond the 12 month mark--I know someone who is into her 16th month and is still healing.  Also, many people who knew you before surgery will still see you as the person before your surgery.  You can have ten vaginas and they will still see you the same.  My surgery partner is a prime example of a very beautiful trans woman who is experiencing this.  She is a runway model who travels the world and people still see her as a ->-bleeped-<-.  One, because of her voice and two, because her hands and feet are a dead giveaway.

Many of us also go into this thinking that we are going to bang the world--some do and some don't.  I'm one of those who said and thought that way but didn't go that way.  My areas of concern have shifted more toward becoming a better woman--self-improvement.  I am now considering having some face work done and, for the first time in my life, I am now becoming braver in trying out new hairstyles and doing things I would have never dreamed of doing before.  I could really care less about banging anybody--I want to be respected, not seen and treated as some skank.

There are a lot of things to prepare yourself for when you have srs that go well beyond the physical.  This is more that just a goal we set for ourselves, this is an incredible life change.  You have to be prepared for the worst possible outcome while envisioning the best possible result.  If you go into it thinking that everything is going to be so much better, then you may be in for a letdown which can lead to severe depression.

I wish you all the best with your surgery.   

[sweetie87]

Hi Jamie,

Well if you have a life currently, then for sure you will have a life after SRS. Just make sure you're not spending 3 hours a day researching SRS and making it your number 1 goal in your life!

The best thing to do is to prepare for the surgery mentally and know that changes will occur (not only emotional changes, but also changes in your endocrine system). This made me go to a wide range of emotions at 1 week post-op and lasted for a week. I couldn't even smile and thought I was ending up with post-op depression. Yet I forced myself to go out of the room, and to remain active mentally and physically and have 3 meals a day and just having a normal rhytm. Now I'm not even 3 weeks post op and I feel much more myself again (I restarted hormones at 2 weeks post-op, this should only be done at the discretion of your doctor). Many nerves have woken up already, yet I feel little pain (and take no pain killers!)

Because I have been bedridden for many days in the hospital, the lack of exercise makes you tired very easily. So the best thing for me was to remain active mentally and physically and only sleep at night. Again this is a YMMV-thing, what works for me may not work for you.

Kristyn is also right in that other people won't change their view of you. Though the whole experience of being in Thailand and having had surgery almost for sure will remain with me for a lifetime.

Before SRS I was trying to mentally prepare for it, but the surgery was not on my mind the whole day. I just remained busy with all sorts of things to keep my mind distracted from the surgery and kept busy with life. That's the key thing, keep busy with life before and after SRS as much as you can (at least for me).

Best wishes with yours,
Sweetie

[Anatta]

Kia Ora Jamie,

As the old saying goes "Your mileage may vary" ... I didn't get depressed, but then surgery was just a bonus for me and not something I had set as a goal...So there was no "great" build up to the event...I had surgery was around 6 years ago...

Metta Zenda

[Rosa]

Just a comment in general since I've not experienced SRS.  It is normal to have some sadness after completing a long awaited goal - I would compare it to sort of a post-partum-depression.  We put a lot of time, energy, and expectation into our important goals, then when they are complete, its natural to experience some sadness even along with the joy of completing the goal.  I think in such cases it is important to have some other goals or things to look forward to so that you are not left with a completely blank slate.  Just my two cents.

[Muffins]

Sounds like your therapist is concerned about "the void", from spending so much time and focusing so much energy on lining up surgery once it's over you find you no longer need to research and spend time planning. This can be true to a degree but I'd say it's the least of one's worries and probably the thing that will least likely induce depression, more likely boredom.
One is susceptible to post-op depression but that is more from the actual surgery/anaesthesia.. I say susceptible because not everyone is affected the same way.
We are in a unique position as there are also other factors to consider such as being off hormones. I personally found coming off hormones to be fine it was going back on that was strange, having to readjust doses and figure out what is right and having emotional roller coasters rides from that. But again not everyone will experience that per se. I also was a bit naughty with the strong painkillers and developed a bit of a crutch need for them and by the time I got home I had to ween myself off them due to side effects. That was around the time of six weeks and also when I was making some final adjustments to hormones/doses. That was pretty full on but the worst of it only lasted a week so I managed to get through all the while maintaining depth.
I found talking to others and researching what I was going through (tramadol withdrawals) to be really helpful, it made me feel less lost and alone. The feeling of aloneness was unbearable for awhile, along with the nightmares. If you do start to feel down just know it's related to the surgery and that it will pass before you know it.

[jamie nicole]

thanks for all the input!  .  During my course, I've had several setbacks and detours getting to my srs.  goals set and revised several times over 10 years.  I cant lie....my srs date is all that I've been thinking about!!  I've been living full time for 4 years now, so most of the people that know me only know me as I currently am.  Hormones should be good.........havent had "them" for several years now and all legal doc's already changed to F.   Luckily, a friend is going with me to Thailand. 
Sweetie....you sure hit the nail on the head with the 3 hrs per day about SRS!! I sure do that lol. 

My son starts football just a few weeks after my surgery so hopefully that can fill the void....

[Lisbeth]

I think there's a let down after you reach any major goal. Now it's time for a new goal.

[pretty pauline]

I surpose I had a kind of a ''letdown'' or post op depression after my srs, my healing was particularly slow and painful at the time with swelling and soreness, had to have a 2nd procedure, I also had incontinence problems, having pads and everything that goes with it, asking myself at the time, ''is this what it means having woman's problems'' it was over a year before I was fully healed, I did recover, things got better, Iv now no regrets, Im now a complete woman!
Pauline

[girl_ashley]

I am 2.5 months post op.  I too have been warned about post-op depression but if anything I can say about my experience is that it's more like post-op euphoria.  I continue to look out for warning signs of feelings taking me towards depression, but so far no such indicators.

One of the possible reasons for post-op depression is the drop in intake of E.  This is due to because E can regulate serotonin levels (the happy hormone).  A lot of post-op trans women halve their E dose because we no longer are producing T and therefore, at least as the theory goes, we no longer need as much E to combat the T.  All post-op trans women should continue to take their same, regular  dose of E as they were prior to surgery for at least six months.  After that, the probability for post-op depression is almost nil.

[FairyGirl]

I too have been warned about post-op depression but if anything I can say about my experience is that it's more like post-op euphoria.

Same here.  The fact of having this surgery was (and still is) a constant wellspring of joy for me.  I had complications that caused prolonged healing time which should have depressed me, but I tried to just take it one day at a time and focus on any little bit of progress I could see along the way.  Just finally having a vagina at all was enough to keep me going.  Now, even at one year post-op I'm still having some issues with some slight vaginal tearing because my boyfriend is somewhat "large" and I'm still very tight, but I just keep telling myself it can only get better with time and persistence, which has been my experience so far.

Many people experience a bout of depression after any surgery, and this is a major one.  Even if it does occur, you can see the other girls here can confirm it does get better if we just hang in there.

[Debra]

I can relate to Valerie's list of reasons. I had lots of mixed reasons to feel a bit down. It wasnt enough to counter my happiness though....and I clung to trying to have patience.

Even now, 3 months later, my recovery is still happening crazy slow and I'm getting treatments from my doctor every 2 weeks and I have some minor asthetic concerns....but it's still amazing and feels great to look in the mirror =)

[peggygee]

Fortunately, I didn't experience any post operative depression, either due to the anesthesia or the change in my HRT regimen from
pills to vaginal cream.

What did happen was a shiffting of my self-actualization goals, but this is very common for me. As I achieve one set of goals, my
thoughts and energies shift to climbing another mountain. This tends to piss off my current therapist, who feels that I should stay
on the mountain-top longer, and enjoy the view.

But with so many existential mountains to climb, it is ever onward for me.