what were the consequences of your transition?

[xxUltraModLadyxx]

i thought this would be an interesting idea for a thread. you just list some of the good/bad things that came with you transitioning. for me, it seems like it was a very good thing for the most part. i feel like i can actually say i'm just as good as anyone else when i couldn't before. i feel like i can enjoy life. some negatives are that i'm more faced with anxiety when it comes to going out in public or coming across past acquantances again. if i'm with my mom, those people would notice who i am, and give me that bad look of disapproval.

[Janet_Girl]

Pro:
I am finally be who I should have been along.
Beginning to enjoy looking at myself in the mirror.
Made friends as a woman.
Have found another love.
Going to school for me, not to get a big paycheck.

Con:
Lost my home.
Lost the woman I thought was the love of my life.
Lost a job, because I was finally true to myself.

[Nicole99]

I'm happy, I am me, I am free.

[iris1469]

my body and spirit/mind are more in tune now than ever. The war is no longer fought inside myself, transition has liberated me. However, i feel as if it is me against the world since transition. I finally realiz and accept that i am transsexual and that the stigma attached to people like me prevents a lot of people from even tallking to me. ANd those that are attracted to me are affected as well. They fear reactions from the people in their life and whatever.......so,,,,,i dont knnow man, life sux eh

[cynthialee]

Costs: I lost 1 friend, I lost male privlidge, increased wardrobe expenses, lost sex drive, and I get looked at like a freak by some folks.

Benifits: sanity, happiness, I have gained more friends in the last year than I have had all my life prior, no longer tied to my sex drive, I feel a hell of allot more congruent. (not there 100% but things are definatly looking up)

I would say the cost benifit analysis stands in favor of transition in my case.

[Northern Jane]

It cost me everything - friends, family, home town, everything.

What I found was ME and I was a whole lot more than I ever dreamed. That's more than 37 years ago and I have never had a single regret.

[GinaDouglas]

I'm happy, I am me, I am free.

Absolutely!

I lost a career as a librarian/teacher that I loved, that didn't even feel like work.
I lost my health benefits, my dentist, my vacations....
I lost family and friends that didn't really care about me anyway.

Unlike many others, I have more sex drive and better sex than I ever dreamed of.
I have totally found my unique voice as a writer.
I know that the people in my life really care about the real me.

My relationship with my dog is essentially unchanged.

Here is how I put it in a letter:
I have been really active in my church; about once a month I do a storytelling in the service.  I have made people laugh and cry at the same story.  We say, the members are the ministers and I minister to people and build the church.  I have been fulfilled in a way I never could have known when I was trapped in my old life because of my career.  I went from a guy who was unhappy and generally disliked, to a woman who is very happy and popular.  I became the kind of person who could get into a wonderful, loving relationship with the love of my life, for the last year.

So you could say that me coming out (and the economic downturn) wrecked my career - but saved my life.

[Joelene9]

  I gained the self respect that I rarely have, friends and family knows now that they cannot push me anymore.  I still have their love despite that.
  I notice that the tunnel vision in the mirror is widening.
  I am able to get more things done, despite the dopiness from the spiro. 
  My skin looks better than most women my age!  Oops!
 

  I lost the hyper sex drive to zero.  Me and my damaged prostate needed a vacation from that anyway.
  I am losing my manhood, bit by tiny bit.  SOooo WHAT!  With the status of my generation, I will most likely not find a suitable female date, even though my attraction to them has changed and enhanced in a different way!
  And the biggest loss:  In hindsight, if the docs allowed me to take HRT when I wanted to in the late'70's, I would not repairing the big mess now.  I would either be a more attractive woman, OR, take the HRT for only a year or so.  I would go to college because my mind would've cleared-up.  If off the HRT after a year or so, reverted to manhood and gotten married with children possible.  I am seeing a type of set/reset now with me.  With my age and status now, I may keep on transitioning anyway.  A good part of my 58 years, blown. 
  Joelene
   

[Saskia]

Cons
Lost all my siblings (2 brothers and a sister)
Lost a couple of 'friends' (obviously weren't good friends)
Marriage broke up (this was actually a good thing)

Pros
Met my soul mate and best friend and we've been together for over 20 years
Have a great career and friends and live in stealth in a different country
Have a Lovely house
Get on better with my parents now (especially my Mom)
Have self respect and I actually like myself now
Can look in the mirror and don't feel ill/depressed
Love the contents of my wardrobe now
I'm so much happier now than I was before.

So yes the balance has tipped firmly into the Pros.

[Anatta]

Kia Ora Spaceygirl,

For a while after I transition I "misguidedly" believed I had "lost" things [I went through the "woe is me" stage!]...However, I came to realise I didn't really lose anything...

And through experience, I gradually began to understand the "impermanent" nature of all things and that to misguidedly believe things/people/situations "belong" to oneself is the cause of great suffering... "Nothing whatsoever should be clung to !" Once I fully accepted this, I found more contentment in life...

So as for the consequences of my transition, one could say I found "true" contentment not only with the body, but in the mind and with "life" itself...

"Sabbe Dhamma Nalam Abhinivesaya !"

Metta Zenda

[JenniL]

Let's see the consequences....

Lost some friends and the love of my life (my heart was broken). I am more broke money wise due to alot of costs with transitioning, and majority of my family doesn't talk to me too much these days.

As much as it sucks loosing friends, being broke, and having only a sister that will talk to you for the most part, I am a much happier person now though. I have a work environment that supports my transitioning. The friends I did not loose are there for me. But number one things that outweighs the consequences, I am finally being who I am suppose to be.

Jennifer

[Anon]

Cons:
Not being as close to family members,
Losing a lot of friends,
Moving 350 miles away from everyone and everything,
Unforseen expenses.

Pros:
Experiencing life as just another normal person.

[Miniar]

Honestly, I can't think of anything I've lost from this.

I've gained a relief from all kinds of stress.
I've gained a level of comfort in my own skin I didn't believe I could have.
I've gained a significant increase in my own self respect.
I've learned so much which has given me tools to help fight for greater equality for everyone.

I feel like I've come so far from where I was, and I feel like I'm a far better man for it.