These are my reasons for smiling lately. If you guys want you can feel free to add what makes you smile, and for a change not have to deal with all the depressing talk of dysphoria.
1. My mum who constantly likes to call people things like 'lil Miss Piggy' or use gender references decided to go with 'Mr.' for me while I was doing dishes yesterday. I think she lost what she was going to say when she felt kind of awkward after the Mr. part and just continued mumbling something, but nothing negative I hope. Either way I at that moment was probably the happiest person ever...to do dishes. I think she did this because in the last two days she could see I was struggling with gender issues but has no idea how to comfort me on it, especially since I don't like hugging or talking about things.
2. During my appointment with my endocrinologist he assured me my voice would continue to drop, that I'd get hairier, my skin will clear up with time (has been already - at least facial) and again MY VOICE! I was happiest to hear, because although I am told I sound like a gay man, at least I have a 'man's' voice, but knowing it will lose that somewhat high pitched sound to it, just made my day. He said it seems no where close to being done and my changes seem to be right on schedule with what he would expect.
3. I have an adams apple. It's not very big but I know if I was really skinny it would show, so I've decided I'm going to do my best to do so just so I can have my adams apple visible to the world.
4. My sister while on a phone call with my mum did not refer to me as her 'daughter' as she commonly does. See rather than use names in my family we say things like 'your other daughter is at the movies' and stuff like that. But this time she paused and referred to me as my mum's 'child'.
5. Everybody has transitioned to my new name fairly nicely since my last name change and are very accepting of it which makes me feel I wish I had done it sooner, who knew they hated my old name that much, but it makes me feel and know at least 99% this is the right one.
6. I have my sister back, by that I mean we had this really big fight over an inconsiderate thing she said and I stopped talking to her for around 3 months. I forgave her though she never apologized. We've started connecting like old times and just talking like we used to before things started getting ->-bleeped-<-ty last year because of her new boyfriend, which seems to constantly cause stress between the two of us.
7. My nephew wishes that there were two of me, so I could hold both his hands. - Sweetest thing I ever heard.
8. I went on a 8km nature hike with my sister today, which was nice because we talked a lot, but also we got to see a deer, and I stepped into a swamp with some frogs, got to smell something other than our cities pollution, and got to go into the ruins of an old mansion. I also climbed a small waterfall - got soaked, and we all got covered in mud on this spontaneous decision to take a hike, not prepared at all, no water, no proper clothing, just a sense of adventure. I LOVE nature, it's beautiful. I hate the city.
9. I always tried to get my mum to read a book about trans people/hormones but she always refused, when she said something that showed her lack of experience today, she told me to pick her out a book and she'll read it, since I told her it'd be easier than me trying to explain everything myself.
10. It really does get better. When you least expect it, things suddenly just get better and take a turn for the best.
(There is nothing about passing because these are just my reasons for smiling based on the past two days, where I haven't quite had the opportunity to pass for any reason.)
