Dysphoria from hips?

[Da Monkey]

It sounds ridiculous but I am feeling that my hips make me look oddly proportioned -- like they make me look... well, trans?

I feel like a dick saying this because I am post-op but I was so excited for the summer so I could take my shirt off for the first time. Yet I still feel scared/uncomfortable to do it now because I have large hips. It's really bad, way worse than I thought it would be. I don't want to look odd and stand out in front of people.

I know it's not bone since I used to be a good weight most of my life until I hit 19/20 and gained a lot of weight, that's when my hips got large due to fat distribution. I've been on T for a year and a half and it hasn't helped move fat at all.

Really though, it's not so much the head-on front view of my hips that bother me, it's the side and back view that I can't stand to look at the most. I look like I had a freaking inflatable tube implanted around my stomach,  like Homer Simpson? Ugh.

Should I just keep trying to exercise in general or does anyone have good techniques for targeting the hips that has worked? Does any one else feel the same way and how do you get over it?

[malinkibear]

It's basic rules on weight loss that you can't aim to lose fat in one particular area. You're just going to have to lose weight in general, and it'll gradually go. Unless you live in an area full of trans people, I don't think anyone will pay much attention or think you're trans. How often do you look at cisguys with big hips, or cisgirls with boyish figures, and think 'wow, what a weirdass body shape!'? It'll be uncomfortable the first few times, but I think once you've just gotten out there and experienced no one caring, you'll get the confidence to enjoy being shirtless.

[xAndrewx]

I think the Malinkibear is right. Though it is insanely obvious to you (mine are too) others probably won't notice and because a lot of people for some reason think transguys can't grow facial hair or pass as male I don't think they'll notice.

While it's true you can't spot train there have to be some helpful exercises. Maybe try PMing Lee11 or asking the guys on the beefheads forum? I don't have the link at the moment but if you can't find it let me know and I'll look it up later.

[VannaSiamese]

Go buy a program called Brazil Butt Lift, they have a specific program inside the dvd for getting your butt, legs, abs and hips slim and tone while burning fat.  The program costs $50 from beachbody.com 
Honestly, I've heard several people who have downloaded the program for free by using bit torrents... if you know how to do that.
I have the opposite problem, in that I'm too skinny.. so I did the "lift and shape" section of the program and it totally worked.  I've completed it twice in a row and just started it again for the 3rd time.
Here is a general rule, the last place you gain fat is the first place you will lose it.  Your body will lose fat in proportion to how you gained it... however, now that you are on T, if you were to ever regain your fat... it would probably distribute in a more male pattern.  Undoubtedly, the right exercises will fix your all your problems.  T is such an amazingly powerful hormone when paired with exercise.
Also, a great way to offset your hips is just to get your upper body bigger.   
You should read the thread I posted last week about my experience from male bodybuilding and injecting testosterone, to transitioning to female and switching my workouts to only target areas that would make my body more feminine.  Even though hips were never my problem, it will show you just how powerful the right diet and exercises are when paired with hormones.  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,99999.0.html  here is the link
Let me know if you need anything, I will be more than happy to help you =)

[Radar]

I still get paranoid from my hips even after all this time on T. Looking at them they don't seem much bigger than any other guy's. I've even seen guys with bigger hips- yet I'm still concerned!

The thing that bothers me the most is my butt. Working out has helped alot and it's getting smaller, but I still think it's too big for a guy. I've always had a big butt problem. I guess some things never (or take forever) to change!

Vanna, does the Brazil Butt Lift work for men too or is it targeted more for women? Just checking.

[DaddySplicer]

Dude, my life. I have wide-ish hips, but for a skinny guy I've got proportionately obvious love-handles and surrounding area baggage. Essentially, if you want to go without a shirt, I suggest just trying on your different shorts and trunks and finding the exact right place they should hang on your hips. It's obnoxious and nit-picky, but I do it everytime I go to the pool.

[Da Monkey]

Thanks for the tips everyone.

VannaSiamese: I checked out your thread, you are really built hahah I am jealous. I keep trying to stick to an exercise schedule but I never seem to do it for very long. I also checked out the workout you mentioned. Though it sucks that it's targeted for women, I still am shaped like one so I feel like it's what I need to do right now. I'll also try that while working on my shoulders again, hopefully that helps.

Basically from the side they look like this:



Sorry I tried to move my arm out of the way, but right beside it you can see where my hip fat is overflowing hahah.

And this is from the front.

[Andy]

I have a similar problem, my hips go straight down on the sides but I have a bit of a bump in back where the top of my butt meets my back. I specifically asked Lee11 about this exact issue a month or two ago. He didn't have any particular magic suggestions, like a specific exercise or whatever. I have been working out for 2+ years now, and everything is coming along, but that is a friggin stubborn spot for sure. I keep thinking, there's got to be something specific we can do. Biking is one that comes to mind, but I haven't tested the idea. I'm with you, I hope someone can help with this. Or maybe I'll splurge on Brazil Butt Lift?! 

[Da Monkey]

yeah hahah it's the worst around the back, it sucks.

but I talked to a guy I work with today and he's selling me his p 90 x thing for half price. so I will give that a try. I probably won't make it past the first disc but whatever.

[Jigsaw]

I LOVE P-90x! .....at least until you get to the corn cob pull ups.  People think I am sick in the head, but I have a lot of fun doing that workout especially the plyometrics.   

Looking at your pics, I don't think your hips look that bad.  They are way better then mine.  I have huge hips and even larger butt!  I feel like a cartoon character.

[~RoadToTrista~]

There's these pictures of some baseball guy on here (I think baseball). His butt is huge! Can't find that thread. >.<

[J.T.]

right there with you, man!  although i have noticed that my hips look much straighter when i squish/pull my stomach in certain ways.  so it may just be excess fat/skin!  I've thought maybe getting the extra stuff removed... but honestly I will never run around with my shirt off 'cause my scars are so prominent.

But yeah, I don't tuck my shirts 'cause of hip dysphoria.  I tried explaining it to my boss but he just doesn't get it.

[The Hawk]

I sort of have a similar problem to this, except it isn't my hips that are big, it's my waist that's real small. It makes it look like I have curves, I hate it, and I have yet to find a way to make my waist bigger without getting fat lol.

[James-Alen]

I get this problem a LOT! I've got this ridiculous system of sticking out my stomach to distract from my pre op upper half when binding (hey, a beer belly beats boobs!). I look at myself in the mirror and get a little self conscious of my hips. What I'm attempting to do right now is lift weights and strengthen/ enlarge my stabilizer side muscles so that they fill in the curvaceous gap. In both the pictures you posted, though, you look great. I wouldn't worry at all about taking off your shirt!

[VannaSiamese]

Vanna, does the Brazil Butt Lift work for men too or is it targeted more for women? Just checking.

The exercise program works just as well for guys and girls, it's just aimed at women because women are typically the ones that want to slim their butt and hips (since estrogen makes you store fat in your butt and hips).  Honestly, I could make a really convincing argument that the program would actually work better for men, because testosterone allows men to build muscle and burn fat so much faster than women... and because of T, men won't regain their fat back in that area like a woman would =)
Since you had estrogen in your body for so long, your body just stored the majority of your fat in that area.  Over time testosterone should make a lot of the fat migrate away from that area.  However, if you just take the initiative and lose the fat in the area, then I suspect any new fat you gain will redistribute in a more masculine pattern.
I did this experiment on myself with estrogen... I started estrogen and dropped from 135 to 112 lbs, then I gained back up to 120 and now all my fat is in my butt (sadly, it's also on the back of my arms, another area estrogen targets).
A good example of how hormones effect your weight distribution is to look at vegetarians.  Have you ever noticed that a lot of men who are vegetarian tend to store more weight in their butt and hips than men who aren't vegetarian?  It's because eating soy produces estrogen, and soy is a large part of most vegetarians diet.  Soy actually produces so much estrogen that parents are greatly discouraged from letting young girls eat soy, because they think it onsets their puberty early. 
So, the program is worth a try, the worst that can happen is you get in amazing shape =P

VannaSiamese: I checked out your thread, you are really built hahah I am jealous. I keep trying to stick to an exercise schedule but I never seem to do it for very long. I also checked out the workout you mentioned. Though it sucks that it's targeted for women, I still am shaped like one so I feel like it's what I need to do right now. I'll also try that while working on my shoulders again, hopefully that helps.

Hehe I WAS really built =P  I lost all that muscle, I am so puny now.  I try to stay in good shape as a girl, and I still have a nice shape, but I just feel so weak and fragile all the time.   I use to could bench press 200 lbs, but now I can't even open my can of artichoke hearts.  It's amazing what hormones do to your body and your muscles. 
I would love to help you with your shoulders if you have any questions.  Shoulders were one of my worst areas, and they quickly became one of my best assets... they got broad and muscular fast.  Even as a girl I still have muscular defined shoulders that I am proud of, but I lost a lot of the width.
I'm  starting to get into female body building, but trying to keep a more modest approach so I retain my femininity =)

On a brighter note, I see absolutely nothing at all that is feminine about your body or hips... it looks completely male to me.  Actually, your shoulders are a great width... if you were to really hit the gym hard you could have an amazingly shaped body with great proportions in less than a year. 

[Myself]

Thanks for the tips everyone.

VannaSiamese: I checked out your thread, you are really built hahah I am jealous. I keep trying to stick to an exercise schedule but I never seem to do it for very long. I also checked out the workout you mentioned. Though it sucks that it's targeted for women, I still am shaped like one so I feel like it's what I need to do right now. I'll also try that while working on my shoulders again, hopefully that helps.

Basically from the side they look like this:



Sorry I tried to move my arm out of the way, but right beside it you can see where my hip fat is overflowing hahah.

And this is from the front.

From the pictures I can assure you, swimming pool, beach, hips, whatever, no one will see you as anything but a man.

And if someone will notice (and that really requires looking for it) anything about your hips then they will be convinced it's a bit fat and nothing as you think of it. Relax! Trust me on this one, go to the beach and stop thinking of it.

[Julian]

I recently had a major hip-related dysphoria attack from navigating between tables in a restaurant. You're not alone.

And the pictures look awesome. I don't think you'll have any trouble passing.

[Sharky]

You're your own worse critic. You body still looks very masculine. Maybe it would help if you move you pants up an inch or two.

[dalebert]

I've seen a lot of cis men with fairly wide hips.  I don't think that stands out.

[Silver]

You have some decently sized hips, but it's not like it'll out you or anything.

Just like with other more feminine features you can't change, the best you can really do is own it. Don't let something like that keep you from a comfortable day at the beach.