Help. Wedding invite

[mowdan6]

Need your help...especially all you great women out there.  I have been invited to a wedding in August.  And, trying to figure out how to dress on a budget.  I'm basically a blue collar guy.  I do have a couple pairs of Dockers and dress shirts.  So, can I get by with wearing dockers, dress shirt and tie?  I am totally clueless when it comes to doing this dress-up stuff.  I'm also a hard guy to fit....given that I am horizontally challenged.  Help!!

[tekla]

Most places that rent tuxes also rent suits.

[JungianZoe]

I never once sent to a wedding in a full suit.  Slacks, dress shirt, and tie was my hard-and-fast rule.  My favorite combo was black slacks, a brilliant blue shirt, and a skinny white tie.  Seemed appropriate for just about everything.

Of course, last summer I went to my sister's wedding entirely in black.  Black slacks, black shirt, black tie.  Kind of reflected how I felt that day.

[Lee]

Thanks for bringing this up.  I'm headed to an outdoor wedding for a friend I am not out to.  Do you guys think slacks and a dress shirt without a tie would be formal enough?

[JungianZoe]

Thanks for bringing this up.  I'm headed to an outdoor wedding for a friend I am not out to.  Do you guys think slacks and a dress shirt without a tie would be formal enough?

Depends on the variety of "outdoor."  I must now amend my earlier comment saying that I never wore a full suit to a wedding, because I remember now that I once did.  It was to an outdoor wedding in Dallas, during the summer of 2000, when they broke records for 100+ degree days.  I was never more miserable in my life!  And I had to be in a full suit because, though the wedding was outdoors, it was on the grounds of a super-ritzy hotel with a lavish reception afterward.

Then I went to another outdoor wedding at this place in Lafayette, CO that had chickens roaming the grounds.  It was the wedding of my oldest friend and in addition to designing their invites, I was also the videographer.  To that wedding, I wore only slacks and a button-up shirt.

It also depends on the people who are getting married!  I probably could have worn a t-shirt to my friend's wedding and he wouldn't have cared, because he's like that.  His brother said that if my friend ever got married again, he would wear nothing but a full-body condom to the wedding, something my friend would have whole-heartedly approved of.   Sadly, his brother died of an enlarged heart five years ago at the age of 25, and we held his wake at the... um... adult store next door to the funeral home.

So it's not an all-or-none deal, figuring out what to wear to an outdoor wedding.

[ToriJo]

I'd suggest asking the couple how formal the wedding will be and what type of clothes they would think most of the guest will wear.  That's not an unusual question from a guy - most are puzzled by dress issues and don't know what to wear.  You might even say, "I'm thinking about wearing dockers and a dress shirt - would I be under-dressed?"  (hint: If you ask the groom, you might ask him to verify it with his bride and get back to you.)

If you do rent a suit or tux, don't do black.  Black's for funerals and is non-traditional for anyplace else.  And generally the only person wearing white should be the bride.  You might also consider checking out thrift/charity shops for sports coats.  If you have a good male friend or decent family member about your size who owns a sports coat, you might also ask to borrow it for a day, explaining why.  I'd be happy to loan a friend a jacket so he could go to a wedding.

I definitely would not just buy a suit for a one-day event unless I had no other choice.  I'd only suggest buying a suit if you need it for employment or you like dressing that way.

[MarinaM]

Last one I went to I was in a dark purple long sleeved dress shirt and black slacks, no tie. This was my mom's wedding.

[Cindy]

As ever Slanan has good advice.

Weddings vary so much with ethnic background, religion and weather etc. Even economic background. I'd ask the groom, or the best man if you now them.
Biggest rule of thumb for guys at a wedding blend in to the background, be totally neutral. It is the brides day and she should be allowed to shine, next in line are all
the woman who compete like crazy with each other but try not to outshine the bridal party.
(The last wedding I was at, the next day my female guest friends could describe every woman's outfit, and be critical of it )


Next it is the guys who should not be seen or heard

Cindy

[jerika]

The best thing to do is to contact someone in the wedding party to ask the dress code at the wedding. "Black tie invited" is semi formal and dress clothes or formal attire is required (slacks, dress shirt and tie are completely ok). "Black tie event" is formal and a suit jacket should be worn at minimum if not a tux, if a suit jacket or tux jacket is worn it is acceptable to remove the jacket after dinner is complete and dancing begins. "White tie event" is very formal and a formal suit or tux is required.

My wedding was "black tie invite" and was held at a country club on a Sunday morning, I made it known to "key" people in my family that there was a dress code and for the people who were invite who I anticipated inappropriate dress I sent a dress code card enclosed in the invitation. The only unfavorable outfit was an orangeish western jacket pair with slacks and ostrich leather boots but it did meet my requirements and was just not my taste.

With all of this said 1-15% of wedding guests will not be in proper attire, i.e. blue jeans, overly short skirts, unironed shirts directly out of the package, and even t-shirts.

From my experience for most wedding I have worked slacks dress shirt and tie is the common attire for a quest that is in their teens and twenties. I am a bartender for a country club and I am training to become a Private Event Director, and work about 30+ weddings a year.