Dealing with the hard stuff

[mowdan6]

So, back in the day, when I was trying to do the female stuff, there was this guy I was involved with.  He is a good person.  Anyway, haven't seen him for years.  But now he lies in the intensive care unit at a hospital that is 4 miles away.  They keep him in intensive care because he does'nt want to go on.  And, He does'nt know about the changes in my life, and i'm trying to decide weather I should get involved.  Call, let him know there are people that care?  And will I make thing worse than they are? 

[Renate]

I say go for it.

There are always people that will say, "X is too sick to take news like that."
Honestly, if someone is in the ICU already, your little gender issues are not earth-shaking by comparison.

[Del]

You say he doesn't want to go on.
With your gender issues aside.
You may be that one person that just might give him the desire to go on.
I wish you well whatever you decide.

[justmeinoz]

If he is conscious enough to understand what you are saying you may be able to give him a reason to go on.   If not, he may still recognise someone who is caring enough to visit. Even that could be a help.
Karen.

[caitlin_adams]

Do it. Go see him or at least talk to him.

[kate durcal]

Going to see him would be about him not you, you do not need to tell him about your change, tell him how you feel sabout him, the good memories.

Kate D

[BillieTex]

follow your heart and if you do go to see him just be yourself, it's what's inside most remember

[SkylerKts]

Make sure you do see him and do not make your transition a focus point unless that is of significance. A good friend of mine recently died and he already knew of my transition years ago. If he didn't know I would have regretted not saying goodbye and I would have left out that I was transitioning. Go as neutral and he wont know the difference. If he brings it up tell him the truth and just keep it at a level that it is not the focus.

[JulieC.]

I'm sure he would want to know you care.  If it were me I would visit.