Why am I so attracted to feminine, gay, or bi men?

[silvershadow17]

I am a female who wants to know and understand why I'm always drawn to men who are feminine, gay, or bi-sexual.  I don't seem to have any attraction to manly men.  I always find the ones that wear make-up, skirts, or have feminine qualities to be the ones I want to have a relationship with.  I have been in two serious relationships.  Both were with bi-sexual men.  That seems to be what I like.  I don't understand why I am so drawn to these types of men when I am "staight".  Has any other woman out there had these same types of feelings, and have you ever discovered why you feel this way?  Help me please...

[Amazon D]

Your attracted to the spirit of the person but it seems not the body. Is that right? And did you already end your relationship with erin / brandon from your first post earlier today? You seem to like people who are sensative to the female experience but you want them to be male. You will have to decide which is more important to you. Is it the spirit or the body?

[Taka]

many women seem to want a partner who can also be their best (girl-ish) friend. i've tried to figure out why, but had to accept that i'll probably never completely understand since this doesn't apply to me. (well, i can also be attracted to feminine/gay/bi guys, but then i'm attracted to pretty much anything else too as long as it is human..)

i also know many completely straight women even enjoy to read gay erotica (but usually only the type with girly guys). you like what you like, and there's nothing wrong with that. what you need to figure out isn't why you like it, but what you want to do about it

[cynthialee]

So you like girly men. No big deal. It is your preferance.
There are plenty of straight girly men out there who have dificulty getting a date, because so many women are looking for a macho man. As a result you won't have much compitition for the affections of the men you prefer.

[silvershadow17]

Thank you for responding to my post.  Yes, I am very attracted to the spirit and the wonderful qualities that Erin has.  When I first met him, he was wearing a black skirt, gothic boots, and make up.  I thought, "wow".  That part of him was always very desirable to me.  Not only that, but his heart and his personality are all I could ever ask for.  He was perfect in every way. When he told me he wanted to be a woman and I started seeing bras and heels laying around the apartment when I came over, I didn't know what to think.  I was confused.  Now I don't know where things stand with us.  It's looking like we have reached the end, but I know we love each other.  It might not be enough at this point.  I have reached out to him and asked him if he would consider going to counseling with me to put our feelings on the table.  I don't want to end things being angry with each other.  I don't want to end things at all, but I don't know what to do at this point.  I have to wait and see where he wants to go from here, but I'm not feeling very optimistic.

[cynthialee]

I tried to live my life as an effeminate straight male for decades. The entire time battleing against my gender dysphoria. It didn't work. The pain of being a man was too much for me and I reached a point of transition or die.
Everyone here who put off their transition until later in life regrets that descision. Don't put your sweety through that hell. If (s)he needs to be a woman, the feelings will never go away. Not for love, power or money. The feelings get stronger and stronger every year until it becomes unbearable.
If you love this person it would be far more a nobel act to step back from the relationship and let them bloom into the person they need to be.

[cynthialee]

Many couples that break up due to a transition remain very close life long friends. Many stay living togather but are no longer romantic as one or both are not homosexual.
I know it isn't a romantic relationship with the man of your dreams. But there is obviously a chemistry that has brought you togather.
Erin is going to need guidance and instruction in being a woman in this society. Or she can do it the hard way and learn on her own and take allot of tough knocks....

[xxUltraModLadyxx]

i understand. i feel more attracted to men with some feminine qualities. those very masculine macho men turn me off rather than attract me. i know the relationship would never work out. for the most part, sexuality is not just one extreme or the other, the same way as gender itself. it would be about as accurate as saying all men are macho and attracted to some feminine fantasy and vice versa. it never really works out, becuase what could you have in common, when you are so different in personality?

[YinYanga]

Because you're beautiful the way you are

[VeryGnawty]

I don't seem to have any attraction to manly men.

Join the club.  I'm only attracted to people who are androgynous, or people who are feminine.  People who are very masculine (regardless of physical sex) are a huge turnoff.  Although, there are a few exceptions.  But in general, I don't like men who are very masculine/manly.  For that matter, I don't like women who are "butch"

[Raige]

I understand, I am only attracted to feminine men as well. Masculine men for lack of a better word- tend to repulse me. This has been a challenge because most of the feminine men that I have met were gay and had no interest in me.

[apple pie]

Well, I know that East Asian girls like men with feminine-looking features. All the male idols in East Asia have perfectly smooth faces for example—that's what makes them attractive and popular. And no chest or facial hair either definitely (many of the idols have electrolysis on their faces).