The urge to feel complete and rid your self of the remnants of the old life can be really strong.
Almost over powering. It fills your head and your soul can cry for relief.
A chance comes to go and get the procedure done! Not that expencive, long trip, but I can survive that.....
Sigh....
I thought I had all my ducks in a row, bills paid, some (but not a lot of) time off. My child, old enough to be alone for a while....
That was my decision last year. A decision I regret.
The pain and pressure today was terrible. I took tylenol, several large does, but it did little to help. I have spoken to 2 surgeons now, both say it can be fixed. But. Health insurance will not cover more then $1200 of the $6000 I need for relief. I cant get a loan as I am over extended. Can't ask my family. I know they'll say "It was your decision, live with it".
The abrasion of the prolapse of the urethra (common) and the vagina (not so common) stings when I pee and I know it will sting when I start dilating tonight. The erectile tissue remaining cramps hard. Far too much was left behind and can be excruciating.
That was my day and tomorrow will probably be the same, though 2-3 out 7 days can be ok.. This year has been a long one and I have no relief in sight.
So when you think your life is intollerable, that the pain is insensible, dont jump the gun. Plan wisely. Think it out. It could be worse than you ever thought.
