Happy or not?

[Annah]

Actually, no study on earth has ever recorded the opinion that Trans lead unhappy lives;

Can you provide me an outside source stating this? Or is this your opinion?

[Stephe]

Actually, no study on earth has ever recorded the opinion that Trans lead unhappy lives; the entire spectrum of depression in Trans results in either A. Discrimination, B. Medical Health (hormonal imbalances that have caused a man or woman to look too extreme to transition realistically)

While I agree discrimination is the root of most if not all T problems, these two statements seem to be in contradiction. If there was no discrimination of someone being T, then why would B even exist or matter? t least for me, what makes me happy is people finally accept and treat me as a woman, NOT that I can make myself look like some ideal form of a woman. That I am socially accepted as a woman is what matters.

I know some people HAVE to be accepted/seen as a born female (pass) to be happy but I guess I wonder: if there was no discrimination whatsoever, would they still require being seen by the world as a born female to be happy or is this a result of being influenced by discrimination and them trying to hide from that?

[kimberrrly]

Being a ts and not a woman physically can create such mental suffering that it can lead to suicide, not just that people dont accept you,...

And i find it odd i even have to mention this...... !!!

[LilKittyCatZoey]

I am super unhappy when considered a boy so every time i am seen as a girl i am happy

[Stephe]

Being a ts and not a woman physically can create such mental suffering that it can lead to suicide, not just that people dont accept you,...

And i find it odd i even have to mention this...... !!!

I guess I find it odd when people ID themselves and set their own self worth by looking in their pants.... Maybe I'm the odd one, but my genitals aren't the focus of my life and never have been.

[Kay]

what makes me happy is people finally accept and treat me as a woman, NOT that I can make myself look like some ideal form of a woman. That I am socially accepted as a woman is what matters.

I guess I find it odd when people ID themselves and set their own self worth by looking in their pants.... Maybe I'm the odd one, but my genitals aren't the focus of my life and never have been.

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I guess I find it odd for someone to make this all about society, and about hinging your self worth completely on the opinions of others.  (sorry, couldn't resist the turnabout  )  And while that's how you presented it, I have my doubts that you meant it completely in that way.   If your body didn't bother you, then why bother changing it?   
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I do admit that living socially as who I am is important.  It's definitely part of it...but it's not 100% of it for me.
If it were, I'd just work to become a really convicing cross-dresser and forget HRT, electrolisys, surgery, etc...all of the costly, risky, and painful parts of this.
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I'm not doing this for others...or even for their acceptance.  I'm with Birgitta (BTW love the puppet, Birgitta   ).  But it's not primarily about self worth, it's about congruence.  It's about not having to completely ignore your whole body to survive, much less attempt to live.  About being able to look at yourself and feel connected to your own skin rather than crawling in it.  If that sort of internal pain and dissonance isn't something you've experienced, then consider yourself lucky...it's not fun.  Being a "woman physically" isn't  *all* about what's in the pants...but those parts are as much a part of the dissonance as all of the rest.  And as Birgitta noted, that dissonance can result in a fair amount of mental suffering, which if not alleviated only grows worse...leading to some pretty extreme ends for some.

[jamie nicole]

i can only speak for myself:  I began my transition in 2002.  along the way, there has been ups and downs, just the same as everybody else.  Overall, I am much much happier now than I was before and wouldnt trade my life for anyone elses

[jamie nicole]

While I agree discrimination is the root of most if not all T problems, these two statements seem to be in contradiction. If there was no discrimination of someone being T, then why would B even exist or matter? t least for me, what makes me happy is people finally accept and treat me as a woman, NOT that I can make myself look like some ideal form of a woman. That I am socially accepted as a woman is what matters.

I know some people HAVE to be accepted/seen as a born female (pass) to be happy but I guess I wonder: if there was no discrimination whatsoever, would they still require being seen by the world as a born female to be happy or is this a result of being influenced by discrimination and them trying to hide from that?

I'm going to elaborate on this thought.....discrimination itself is not the root cause of various issues related to being transgendered......the root cause is fear and a lack of understanding/education that leads to all the issues we face.  Although I am fully integrated into society and pass fairly easy, I make no secrets about who I am or who I used to be.  I often am invited to local colleges as a guest speaker to give insight and tell my story.

[jamie nicole]

Can you provide me an outside source stating this? Or is this your opinion?

Kunkle, Jonathan R. "Gender Identity is Root Cause of Depression in Transsexuals " New England Journal of Medicine, volume 132, issue 74 (2008): 46-72.

does this help?

[JenniL]

i am definitely more happy than I was last year before I started to transition. I still have my off days but who doesn't.

Jen

[Cindy]

As people know I have had some bad times.

A few weeks back I went to my local hotel where I go to the restaurant quite regularly.
There was a long queue to get to the reservation desk. The manager saw me and came straight up to me and said Cindy you are on table 4 and took me there. The staff as ever were really nice and friendly.
Walking home,  I realized my life had changed.
I had accepted myself.


Yes I am happy.

Cindy

[MarinaM]

I'm as happy as I was before. This was not really about happiness, it was about shedding the cumbersome lies I kept near to my heart and opening up to the world around me. I'm sure I can be more open to happiness now, my friends all like me a lot better.

[Neko]

Transitioning is not a magic bullet...if you are an unhappy and negative person before transition, you won't magically become all sunshine and smiles. Yes you may have fixed a major problem in your life, but that doesn't equate to making you happy. It's also perfectly possible to be a happy and positive person and still be serverely depressed, it's just it's harder to be like that when you feel the weight of everything on your shoulders.

The question you should be asking is not "are we happy?" but "Am I Happy?" How do face the world around you when you subtract the gender issues.

And to answer you question, I am no happier than before, I merely feel free. People now get to see exactly who I am with out it being filtered through the construct of him.

[LilKittyCatZoey]

Transitioning is not a magic bullet...if you are an unhappy and negative person before transition, you won't magically become all sunshine and smiles. Yes you may have fixed a major problem in your life, but that doesn't equate to making you happy. It's also perfectly possible to be a happy and positive person and still be serverely depressed, it's just it's harder to be like that when you feel the weight of everything on your shoulders.

The question you should be asking is not "are we happy?" but "Am I Happy?" How do face the world around you when you subtract the gender issues.

And to answer you question, I am no happier than before, I merely feel free. People now get to see exactly who I am with out it being filtered through the construct of him.

true but i dont believe any is stating that its a magic bullet i believe they are all happy because they can be themselves and do what they want because they now look and are able to be who they are. I mean i get sad when used as a boy or called one and happy when called a girl not because transitioning is a magic bullet but rather the fact i am acknowledged who i am not for what i appear to be. Just saying transitioning does a lot to let us be who we are or was it the other around for you neko? if so i am sorry about that

[Stephe]

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I guess I find it odd for someone to make this all about society, and about hinging your self worth completely on the opinions of others.  (sorry, couldn't resist the turnabout  ) 

Well for ME this was the most important part. That I could be myself, a woman, full time and people see me as such. That I don't have people making rude comments and being hostile. Being a woman <> being female. And just because someone is female, doesn't mean they are a woman. Sure I would like to have a female body and am working towards that. But honestly, you can THINK you are a woman but if everywhere you go people call you sir and treat you as a man, that "I know I'm a woman" doesn't hold up very long..

[LilKittyCatZoey]

Well for ME this was the most important part. That I could be myself, a woman, full time and people see me as such. That I don't have people making rude comments and being hostile. Being a woman <> being female. And just because someone is female, doesn't mean they are a woman. Sure I would like to have a female body and am working towards that. But honestly, you can THINK you are a woman but if everywhere you go people call you sir and treat you as a man, that "I know I'm a woman" doesn't hold up very long..

You stephe are a downer you are pretty much saying a few rotten words ruin who your are? from how i understand your post you are saying we arent girls because of how we were born yet you should no it was never our choice? or has something happened to regret those beliefs?

[espo]

Happiness isn't really something you should expect in life, its a circumstance that changes constantly like the weather.  I find that the events that made me happy will one day make me extremely unhappy. I'm not sure what the point of life is but I'm pretty confident being happy is not it.  If your father is genuinely concerned about your happiness thats pretty cool but also pretty invalid reason to not do something like transition. 

[drkiara]

i havent started on trasnsion or hrt or anything but comeing out and telling ppl whom i trust has made me more happy then i was hidding it i have never really been a happy person in life(had a ruff childhood) but as for this whole thing right here i would say i am happy weither i am male or female i am happy with whom i am and who i have around me that support me

[Anatta]

Kia Ora,
 
The universe is in a constant state of flux...

"The purpose of life is the "pursuit" of happiness !" Think about it....

And I've found my true calling in life [contentment] being a "happiness bounty hunter" !   

Metta Zenda

[VannaSiamese]

I can say my life is definitely more exciting... and happier for the most part.  However, I'm not completely happy.  I've been living full time for over 2 years now and I still have days that I wonder if I should have done this.  The truth is that I wish I could go back to being a guy and not still want to be a girl... but I don't think that's possible... especially since I've gotten to experience my life as a woman for so long. 
I tend to worry about the future a lot.. what will I be doing, who will I be with, will I always feel some ambivalence and so on.
I remember when I first started transitioning thinking that Oh if I can pass then I'll be so happy and content and everything will be perfect.  However, that's not completely the case.  I wake up passing, and would actually have a lot of trouble to not pass as female... and everything isn't fine and perfect like I thought.  I miss a lot of freedoms I had as a guy, and I also feel restricted as a girl because I haven't had my SRS yet.  I keep telling myself that once I get SRS then everything will be fine, and I suspect there is a lot of truth to that, but still... what if it's not?  I guess that's my biggest worry.
Still, my life as a girl is exciting.  I like how people treat me, especially boys.  I like how I look in the mirror, how my body feels, how I can wear the cloths I want to wear, how I don't have to feel like I'm hiding anything anymore (especially in conversation, I was very restricting with my emotions and facial expressions as a guy).  If ever I were to go back, I would never be the person I was before I transitioned... I would be a much more feminine, pretty/androgynous guy.  I realize that who I once was is never coming back, and at times I feel sad or guilty for that.
Sorry to be depressing but I wanted to be truthful.  However, knowing what I know now... I would have still transitioned.