age and taking the plunge

[Centcomm01]

just told another friend tonight , he reacted very positively .. also he knows a post-op gal that has already been though this from back in 2002 , we are setting up a get togather so we can get a plan of action on this , .. and yet again another of my friends " isnt the least bit surprised " ok how did i miss this and they didnt ...   

[Tammy Hope]

likely you are just posting to their wall. - in the upper right there's a button specifically for private messages

[SandraJane]

Centcomm1, if you're looking for a place to do Laser Hair Removal (LHR) consider this...if ya live in a large city that has a Medical School either call or go online and check with their Dermatology Clinic. I leave in a large city with 2 medical schools, one has a Laser Clinic with the latest and greatest lasers (Luminis Lightshear Duet), and prices better than a Med-Spa. Also its pay as you go, none of this package deal stuff, plus its done by an RN (and one that has worked there for years).

Or... you can checkout a private school that teaches Laser Hair Removal. If you go that route please be aware that you will not always have the same technician.  I see you live in the Phoenix area, be advised that IMAJ Institute in Scottsdale does this, but...they do not advocate the use of anesthetic cream (LMX 4 or 5%), their policy. Even with LMX cream it still smarts! I have found that out even with the Luminis Duet which has a suction device that will help decrease the pain on other parts of the body except the face and neck! And if that wasn't enough...in Phoenix you get tanned even if you're inside, LOL, so you will have to bathe in 30 SPF SUNBLOCK before and after treatments. Will probably need 4-6 treatments every 6-8 weeks. If you have Blonde, Grey or White facial hair it will not work, Red depends on the Laser available. I have some white hairs so off to Electrolysis I go after the LHR is done.

[Centcomm01]

found a decent place to do LHR - so price is decent ( hope im not reposting this ) but im wondering untill i get real breasts .. or good silcone ones whats the best way to DIY your own ive kinda used surgical gloves and plastic baggies but not happy with this ... ideas ?

[Stephe]

 I'm 51 have been living 24/7 as a woman for 3-4 years (and was living VERY fem androgynous for 10 years prior) and have had no surgery, electrolysis and just started HRT a few months ago. I guess I'm lucky I have almost no beard shadow?  Makeup is really all I need. Some people might HAVE to do something else about that? I had a nasty reaction to electrolysis so had to skip that part

It does take some money to build up a wardrobe, thrift stores and on line sales can save a ton on that expense. As far as boobs, look up "Pals breast forms", they are awesome! WAY better that anything else I have seen or tried. I honestly don't really care if HRT works great or not, these do the job for me. I found Jon Renau wigs to be very reasonably priced, look nice, are comfortable and last for a couple of months of daily wear.

My name change took some money but I guess you could do that on your own too. That step was a big one and the one that "sealed my fate" so to speak. I had been living full time about a year when that finally went through so REALLY felt good to get an ID with a picture and name that fit my new gender. Wish I could get a F on it too but.... For now that's not possible.

You can always find an excuse to not do this. Money is a good one but the MAIN thing is the courage to JUST DO IT. If you insist on passing 100% before you start living 24/7 you likely never will. I pass most of the time it seems, maybe people are just being nice/respectful or just give me the benefit of the doubt? Whatever the reason, I am treated like a woman by most people which is ALL that matters to me. I did this in place and there are some difficulties involved in that. A few slow people I had to have a talk with them and say "Look, I am NOT a guy anymore (duh), my name is NOT _______ so please respect the changes I have made in my life."

On the meds, I had a bad reaction to estrogen (long story) but tolerate Spiro fine. Just removing the T from your system does wonders and that part of the HRT doesn't stress your system nearly as much as the other parts do. That said HRT is NOT required to start living 24/7, actually nothing other that just gaining the courage to do it is

[SandraJane]

Good point Steph, COURAGE! Reminds me of the Cowardly Lion's Speech from the Wizard of OZ..."what makes a king outta a slave...what makes the flag on the mast to wave...what puts the ape in apricot"... That's what you got.

[Francis Ann Burgett]

im 46 . and just now gaining the courage to realize whats wrong , sigh .. im worryed about age and pretty much everything that could go wrong can . my finances are garbage because of a lack of self worth i guess .. ive never felt "right" or correct .. and find myself at war with my self ive dabbled in CD and feel very comfy in womens clothing - oddly enough it doesnt cause a "omg" fetish reaction .. it just feels "better" i know the path im choosing is difficult and expensive , im worryed about medical issues . costs ect ect so far ive told a very few close friends and they have been positive .. my ex of 10 years was saying .. "ok.. why didnt you do it sooner .. im lucky in regards to looking my age i look younger .. im hoping to "pass:" i know i shouldnt expect miracles but im hoping to find people in my area that can help me .. im kinda lost on what to do first ( located in phx/tempe .. Arizona )any help or advice would be appreceated and apologys if this isnt in the right area ..

I'm 54 & should have changed in junior or high school, knew early I was a girl. But I did/could not.

Look at your self honestly, can your body be changed into a normal womans body? i.e, beard, frame, face, hair, height, voice. If you are close to female go for it full speed if you are going to do it. Do not wait!  If your body does not have a chance to change not sure?

[Centcomm01]

    Just told the last of my friends today .. and all reactions are positive YAY!  apperntly most of them are the "um so what, we knew this " and are being very supportive made a rash of errands today got a dress .. DAMN it its too small but might fit me later if my waist ever gets smaller stupid man belly .. needs to GO AWAY

    - i look slightly preggers >_< got a pair of new shoes ( and yesh goodwill rocks ) only paid 4.99 for the dress and 4.99 for a nice black top shoes .. 21.00 at payless told the confused clerk "its for my girlfriend " that silenced any negitive i apperenently have NO idea how womens sizes work the size was P-10 whatever that means the top was a large... shoes are easy im a 10 standard still looking for the head doctor ,  but im plotting my first laser treatment asap , now one of my friends has two young boys and she asked "please dont confuse them" they are both functioning autistic so im guessing staying "unisex" for them is easyer , anyone else had requests like that? i dont want to be the cause of copnfusion for them and they may not fully understand why .. the guy is suddenly wearing girl clothing .. so i figure unisex is best for when im around them

[Tammy Hope]

found a decent place to do LHR - so price is decent ( hope im not reposting this ) but im wondering untill i get real breasts .. or good silcone ones whats the best way to DIY your own ive kinda used surgical gloves and plastic baggies but not happy with this ... ideas ?

Here's what i do - it's not perfect because they are too heavy and solid to the touch, but I've had more than one tell me they assumed they were real.

Get some knee-highs and some rice (or bird seed, but rice doesn't have a distinctive smell and lasts longer) - put about a half cup of rice in each (you will have to add more to personalize the size but it's easier to add to taste than to remove if you have too much) and experiment. when you have the right size, tie them off and cut away the excess. usually I'll twist them and then "rebag" by doubling over again so a run doesn't give you a leak - then tie.

Be very careful to measure how much you add so that they come out the same size.

[Centcomm01]

OH good idea .. hey i saw that in a web comic !!! venus envy i think , excellent idea will put that into action thank you ( is saving pennys now ) 

[heatherrose]

Started transitioned 1/27/06, at the age of 40.
I do not reget transitioning, only the way in which I have gone about it.
Do not take the "plunge" until you are sure of the depth of the pool you are "plunging" into.
You owe it to your future and your sanity to make sure you have the support of
a competent, DIPLOMA'ED therapist, experienced in gender issues
who will help you map out a definative path for your transition.   

[Stephe]

Started transitioned 1/27/06, at the age of 40.
I do not reget transitioning, only the way in which I have gone about it.
Do not take the "plunge" until you are sure of the depth of the pool you are "plunging" into.
You owe it to your future and your sanity to make sure you have the support of
a competent, DIPLOMA'ED therapist, experienced in gender issues
who will help you map out a definative path for your transition.   

I guess everyone is different on this. I have zero regrets on how I transitioned and I just -did it- with only the support of my close friends. Maybe some people need a therapists support? This is not a hard and fast rule. For someone on a very limited budget, I'm not sure I would spend the $$$$$$ on a therapist unless THEY feel they NEED one! My experience in dealing with therapists has not been very positive and before anyone says "Well they need to be experienced in gender issues" etc, I think a post OP MTF TS has a clue about gender issues wouldn't you think?

[Robert Scott]

I am late in the game ... but I turn 40 in a couple weeks & hope to get my first shot of hormones into me prior to that!

[bojangles]

Am over 50 and 7 months into the medical part of transition.
If I could have done this sooner, I would have.
We all got today, same as the young 'uns.

Wishing you continued success with everything.

[Tammy Hope]

I guess everyone is different on this. I have zero regrets on how I transitioned and I just -did it- with only the support of my close friends. Maybe some people need a therapists support? This is not a hard and fast rule. For someone on a very limited budget, I'm not sure I would spend the $$$$$$ on a therapist unless THEY feel they NEED one! My experience in dealing with therapists has not been very positive and before anyone says "Well they need to be experienced in gender issues" etc, I think a post OP MTF TS has a clue about gender issues wouldn't you think?

Agreed. If I'd waited until I could afford therapy, most likely it would never have happened, and I can't think of anything a therapist would have done for me that more money wouldn't have.

[Centcomm01]

well i have no idea how to get hormones other than jump though the hoops , im already dreading the cost of appts

[Stephe]

well i have no idea how to get hormones other than jump though the hoops , im already dreading the cost of appts

Unfortunately as long as the TG community supports the whole WPATH standards of care, many people will be forced to go through expensive, totally unnecessary for them therapy. Of course some people need therapy and there is nothing stopping them for doing that under informed consent. A doctor can ALWAYS refuse to treat a patient if they thing something is screwy.

The people who needed therapy to deal with their gender issues are the ones here supporting the whole WPATH nonsense because it fit their needs perfectly and wasn't a problem. For people like me who had resolved their gender issues already (I was already living full time) and just wanted to start HRT, it was insulting to have to go through all that. I'm just glad I could afford it, some people can't afford the shrinkso they get NO HELP whatsoever because of this. Or are forced to DIY.

[heatherrose]

I did not start seeing someone until two years after I started transition.
The pool which I wish I had sounded, for it's depth, was Suicidal Depression, after I lost
EVERYTHING that I had busted my butt for, over a period of a few decades.
I wish I had had an objective someone to talk to, face to face,
that understood what I was and would be continuing to go through.

[Tammy Hope]

well i have no idea how to get hormones other than jump though the hoops , im already dreading the cost of appts

there are "informed consent" providers which don't demand the therapist letter, but they are not common and I'm not sure how close one might be to you.

[Stephe]

"A defective piece can have more value because of it's uniqueness." - NCIS Los Angeles

This quote disturbs me more that what you actually say. If you feel you are "defective", obviously you are going to fight depression for the rest of your life.

Clearly transitioning is going to radically change our lives and we will lose things in the process.  I think anyone who goes into this process thinking things will basically stay the same is delusional and hasn't thought this through. Again, some people clearly need to seek therapy to get though this and probably other things in their life as well, but that isn't something that should be a requirement or assume everyone needs it.

You became suicidal, I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I don't think lack of therapy explains both does it?