Better Start Building Myself Up Now...

[qUiRkY qUeEn]

My spouse is working on transitioning to a female and I support her 100%, in fact, I find I might like being married to a women better then a man. We have been together for 9 years and married for 6 years. Everyday I feel closer to saying good bye to her though. I have a gut feeling inside that she will get tired of being my lesbian lover and will want to venture out to see what she thinks of a man or being in a relationship with one. That is worst then ripping my heart out. I want to see her happy with me.. but I feel it is most important for her to experiment with a man too BUT I would dread to hear her tell me she feels more complete being with a man then me. What if I feel more complete being with a woman? OMG -- should I stay with her through her whole transition knowing this OR let time take it's course and see how she feels after she is full-time. I feel like I am working towards a death sentence ONLY because I can not dread to think of the one day she would want to leave me for a man. She LOVES me to death we have connected on extreme levels in our relationship BUT if she were to leave me for a man and I stayed with her through this WHOLE transition "putting my heart and soul" into this new journey for her for nothing I would be totally dead inside.... It would be worst then a normal male and female break-up in my eyes.....

[Renate]

There are many MTF's who are naturally lesbian, especially in the older age group.
Besides, don't you think that your history together counts for something?

[qUiRkY qUeEn]

I suppose you are right, we do have ALOT of history together!!!! Or counselor is MTF and she is married to a female as well. She has been with her for 20 years!!! I really have to tackle my insecurities during this time of her transition!! I need to start being more positive and not jealous or feel like I am in a computation. In fact, I have worked rather hard and well at not letting those weak qualities show in the first part of our marriage and NOW they are back.. I guess it is normal considering, the changes that are happening to my spouse.

[spacial]

In all honesty, while you and I'm sure, most people can understand her thinking of possibilities, she is already commited to a relationship, with you.

I really suggest you make her understand that, whatever either of you do with your lives, you have both made a committment and you should both be able to feel absoluteyl secure with that.

Marriages aren't based upon ifs and buts. They are based upon committment. Otherwise trust simply doesn't exist.