Second SRS Letter and New SRS Date

[Melody Maia]

Went to my psych doc on Tuesday and mentioned how I was hoping WPATH would be announcing a shortened RLE at Southern Comfort in September. He then asked me how soon I would get SRS if I could and as usual I said "Tomorrow." He then told me if all I need was a second letter, I could have his right away if I wanted. I was stunned and in shock at the news. For awhile there I though that might be all I need for Dr. Bowers, but alas no. Her hospital requires one year RLE as outlined in the SOC by WPATH. That might still change in September, in which case I will reschedule again. However, in the meantime I also found out that a date for SRS had come open very near my birthday in February. So, my new date is February 7. I will be released from the hospital on February 10 which is indeed my birthday. Now both old and new. That means my SRS is now in 7 months exactly from today.

The other day I was going through Bowers website reading about the steps leading up to SRS, what to expect once in San Mateo etc. and it suddenly hit me in a visceral and powerful way that this is really going to happen. I started to cry a bit. I was reminded that in my past life I used to dream about having the right parts. I would always wake up and would be crushed at my wrong body. Depression would follow for days and sometimes a couple of weeks. It was awful. But now I think about SRS and being put under and waking up finally whole. Like the opposite of those terrible dreams. A dream made finally real.

[JessicaR]

. and it suddenly hit me in a visceral and powerful way that this is really going to happen. I started to cry a bit. I was reminded that in my past life I used to dream about having the right parts. I would always wake up and would be crushed at my wrong body. Depression would follow for days and sometimes a couple of weeks. It was awful. But now I think about SRS and being put under and waking up finally whole. Like the opposite of those terrible dreams. A dream made

  I couldn't have phrased it better... From the day the first bank transfer went through it was like the reality of it all started to sink in more as time went by.

Awesome, Melody, just awesome!

[girl_ashley]

Now of course, "RLE" can be defined in different ways.  When I started down my path and started hormones, I never wanted to be socialized as female.  I identified as genderqueer and shifted back and forth between male and female but I still wanted SRS.  But as time went on, that changed for me and I did eventually want be socialized as female and live all of life as such.  It wasn't until a year after staring hormones that I actually went "full time".  I got a letter from both of my therapists and I was able to get surgery 8 weeks after going full time.  Here I am today, three months out and still without having legally changed my name.

The SOC is open to interpretation and can be tailored in a lot of ways to each individual's own path.  I was able to "bypass" the SOC's definition of RLE because, at the time all throughout my year on hormones, I was living my life full time as I defined it.  That's the real beauty of the SOC that a lot of people don't understand.  My therapists and my surgeon are all rock stars and have this liberal understanding.

[Ann Onymous]

But now I think about SRS and being put under and waking up finally whole. Like the opposite of those terrible dreams. A dream made finally real.

I vaguely remember that era...and I definitely remember being so comfortable when it was really going to occur that I did not even need the sleeping pill the night before in Montreal.  Seriously...it was still on the edge of the table the morning they wheeled me into the OR. 

[Melody Maia]

I have been told more than once that you are seized with a sense of peace. I just don't see that being me. I don't see me getting much sleep.

[girl_ashley]

Hehe, I guess I can see why some would need a sleeping pill, but I slept just fine the night before.

[Padma]

The SOC is open to interpretation and can be tailored in a lot of ways to each individual's own path.  I was able to "bypass" the SOC's definition of RLE because, at the time all throughout my year on hormones, I was living my life full time as I defined it.  That's the real beauty of the SOC that a lot of people don't understand.  My therapists and my surgeon are all rock stars and have this liberal understanding.

Thanks, it was very reassuring to read that - as I'm expecting only to find out who I really want to be once I'm on HRT anyway, but at the moment, it's definitely "Tomboy, Interrupted"! I have this unfounded fear of being told "Sorry, you can't come in without a dress."

[girl_ashley]

Thanks, it was very reassuring to read that - as I'm expecting only to find out who I really want to be once I'm on HRT anyway, but at the moment, it's definitely "Tomboy, Interrupted"! I have this unfounded fear of being told "Sorry, you can't come in without a dress."

Yeah that's definitely from the Harry Benjamin SOC days or earlier.  The WPATH-SOC is way more evolved than that.  Though, many therapists are behind the times and still operate on the old ways.  But no therapist worth their degree should be claiming that you aren't serious enough for transition unless you go in a dress.

[Caith]

Yeah that's definitely from the Harry Benjamin SOC days or earlier.  The WPATH-SOC is way more evolved than that.  Though, many therapists are behind the times and still operate on the old ways.  But no therapist worth their degree should be claiming that you aren't serious enough for transition unless you go in a dress.

This is the unfortunate reality with too many therapists and psychiatrists.    The 2001 WPATH SoC always allowed for liberal interpretation, but people read it strictly so as not to risk any chance of liability.  My therapist is a WPATH member and wise enough to know and appropriately use the wiggle room provided in the current (2001) SoC.  The newer version is thankfully more descriptive of the broader gender spectrum and hopefully therapists and psychiatrists will be encouraged to provide more liberal interpretations.

During my telephone interview to start a new patient file with Dr. Reed, he asked how long I had been living full-time.  I explained that I was not due to my age, marriage, job, male pattern baldness, and continuing need for comprehensive electrolysis.  He seemed a bit put off by this, but at that time he had not yet received both of my referral letters.  I explained the orchiectomy was necessary for health reasons, both mental and physical.  My therapist worded it "as Caith continues to explore and develop her evolving gender identity".  Anyone who actually expects you to wear a dress and heels seriously needs to step outside and take a much better view of reality, IMHO.  Using those qualifications as a standard for femininity in women dates back to the 1960s or 1970s, and we've come a HELL of a lot further in the last 40 to 50 years.

[Colleen Ireland]

So, my new date is February 7. I will be released from the hospital on February 10 which is indeed my birthday. Now both old and new. That means my SRS is now in 7 months exactly from today.

Oh, Melody, that is SO cool!  My real birthday is April 2, and my current "second birthday" (start of RLE) is April 25 (really April 9, but documentation-wise it's April 25).  It would be SO cool if I could have my SRS in late March, so as to have my "new" birthday near my natal one!  You are SO lucky!

[jamie nicole]

congratulations!! I'll second what Jessica posted.  it'll seem like Feb will take forever to get here....everyday closer a little bit more excitement.  I scheduled mine back in January and here I am....leaving in 9 days!
Start a journal, record your emotions and never look back 

[AmySmiles]

Congrats Melody.  I didn't post anything earlier because we had talked after the meeting Tues, but it's really neat that you can have it line up so perfectly.  I don't know whether I would take an earlier date if I could make my natal birthday coincide so closely with my new one.    Although, I have lined up my going full-time well enough to do that also if I so desire.

Do try to enjoy the next 6-6.5 months, because it's really going to hit home a couple weeks before the surgery.

[Melody Maia]

Thanks Amy. I've been thinking similar to you and might not change it. My bdays have usually been disasters with few exceptions. This may make up for all of them.

[Caith]

Melody, can I just say that I'm totally envious of your scheduling? 
I'm so happy for you, dear lady. 

[Jillieann Rose]

That is so great Melody. Congratulation hon.
Hope thinks go well and all goes as plans. 
To have the right parts sounds like heaven to me right now.
But I'm sure after awhile it will be like all the other girl things have become for me, normal and right.
So Melody how do you feel about this and how your new life is going sis?
Hugs,
Jillieann

[Melody Maia]

I feel really good about it and I can't wait. I've come such a long way in such a short while, but overall it has also been a long time coming in my life. I am grateful that I can do this.

FYI, for those of you who wonder what I used to look and sound like, I posted a video clip from my wedding in the "pre-transition pictures" thread in the Just For Us section. Only video I have handy of the old me. The date on it is July 1, 1995.