saying goodbye to this $h!tty world

[jamie nicole]

just wanted to say a final goodbye to this god awefull $h!tty world....too many mean people, not enough love.....I guess we all eventually become a statitistic but what's new 

[Anatta]

Kia Ora Jamie,

What has happened to make you feel this way?

Metta Zenda

[azSam]

Well your taking the effort to reach out on the forums, I don't think you really want to die or end your life. Might help to talk about what's bothering you.

[riccirules]

Rather than posting this, why don't you try and talk out your issue here?
It's far less harmful.

[Janet_Girl]

Jamie,

For what it is worth.  I love you as does your brothers and sisters here do.  We have lost too many to the haters.  Stand with us against them.

Please stay.  The world is much more interesting with you in it.

[findingreason]

A couple years ago I felt the same way, and almost committed suicide...please do not do it! Life does get better! And like Beth said, it harms not only yourself, but everyone close to you. Please talk this out with someone, you can make it through. Don't be afraid to PM me or someone else!

**big hugs**

[Muffins]

I think this planet is wondrous but the majority of the people that occupy it do suck to the nth degree. When you have to bow down to these jerk ass bigots it can be extremely frustrating and depressing. I'm not going to tell you what to do with your life (if you're still here) just hope you find peace whether it's here on earth or elsewhere.

[CarlieElizabeth]

Please don't hurt yourself I don't know you but i do love you. A smart man once said" Let not the words of ignorance and hate fill your mind or your soul, for to do so is to posen your wellsping of life with there taint." I think instead let us clense this presious world of ours of that foul taint that would suffacte all beauty and life leaveing only a husk.    So I beg you please dont hurt yourself over people to afraid to see the beauty in you.             love Carlie GREAT BIG HUGS AND KISSES

[xXRebeccaXx]

just wanted to say a final goodbye to this god awefull $h!tty world....too many mean people, not enough love.....I guess we all eventually become a statitistic but what's new 

Dont do it girl, I could tell you stories, people have been in worse positions than pre-everything transsexuals!

[V M]

Please don't harm yourself Jamie, Allot of folks love you... Sometimes this world bugs me out too, I'm struggling just to get by, not everyone agrees with me all the time, there are terrible things going on all over the world

But hey, I know deep inside that I am a good person... I know that you are a good person also

Please don't cheat the world of a wonderful person Jamie... Stay

Love and Hugs

- Virginia

[Rabbit]

The thing about crappy sittuations... is there is ALWAYS a way to work around it.

You might feel bad now, but things really do get better. If you hang on and keep trying to find a way to get over the problems, you will be happy again.

If you aren't sure what to do or think your problem is hopeless... talk about it here and we can help you figure out a way to get past it (there might be a few people who have been exactly where you are and got through it).

[madirocks]

Jamie,

I noticed the time you posted this yesterday, and I wish I had been able to post sooner. Hopefully the others have helped you to notice that everyone here cares for you. We all go through rough patches, and so although we all might not know your exact situation, we're still here willing to help.

Don't give up. And please tell us what's going on.

hugs

[justmeinoz]

Jamie, before you take any action please talk to us here at least, even if there is no-one closer you feel you can contact. Or try the local Lifeline or it's equivalent.

Karen.

[jillian]

it is a ->-bleeped-<-ty world, and almost everyday I want to die. I think it would be so much easier.

I hate having to justify myself.
I hate feeling like a monster
I hate bigots who force me to defend people like us.
I hate peoples condescending attitude towards my decision to transition.

However, it is people like us that are going to force society to look, to question, and to begin to change.

You are going to do whatever you decide to do. I wont tell you its a bad decision, its just that, a decision.
It is definetley not a solution though.
However I can completely relate to wanting to die.

or feeling as if you will never feel whole.

However, life is short, and eventually you will die, whether by accident, by murder, or by old age.
All suicide does is take you out of the equation, it confirms societies assumptions that we are just mentally ill.
Living, and facing the feeling everyday, and everyday choosing to live and stand up for yourself is what tells society that we are real, and they have to learn to deal with us, that it is them who are ->-bleeped-<-ed up.

No matter what you choose to do, I love you. You are as much a part of me, as I am apart of you.
We all came from the same place, and we will all go back to that place. Whether you die right now, tommorrow,  50 years from now, or if you are already dead, you are a part of this journey.

Do what you must, but please understand that it is a choice and it is not mandatory, and you can choose to live. You can choose to fight, you can choose truth, and love, and live in the positive, or you can choose fear, and despair and be enveloped by the pain, and leave this world nothing but a negative spirit of energy.
God knows Ive lived through both, and I currently am swinging between the two myself.

Dont know what the future holds, but for every one of us who dies, that is one less of us to tell their story. It is one less of us who will be there to help us all push on. It will be one less of us who will be able to force society to progress past the bigotry, past the hatred and past the ignorance.

If it is too painful to live for yourself, I say live for me, so I am not alone, or live for the next trans girl or guy who wants to leave this ->-bleeped-<-ty world. Live out of spite, if after all this you still choose to open that door and walk through it. I love you anyways. I understand no matter what you choose to do <3

[azSam]

Err, I'm actually worried about her. She's been completely inactive since she posted this. Would it be possible for a moderator to give her IP address to authorities?

[Amazon D]

She says she is to leave july 18th for GRS in Bangkok. Maybe this is a way for her to cut her ties to susans and the transgender world.  Sounds like she had implants and her GRS is paid off. She has a lot going for her. She never seemed to complain about her appearence as her post replies. Not sure what to say. I did just find this post 5 minutes ago and looked over her replies. If she is reading here maybe she will at least share her feelings.

[Whitney]

Err, I'm actually worried about her. She's been completely inactive since she posted this. Would it be possible for a moderator to give her IP address to authorities?

That sort of stuff only exists in the movies and bad TV. ISPs own loads of addresses and delegate them, somewhat at random, to customers who connect. The lease on an address generally lasts a day or two, and then a new lease is acquired. The new lease will likely be a different address. This shuffling of IP addresses means tracking who had what IP address and when is near impossible. Take into consideration that IP addresses gathered by the media industry can no longer be used in courts to identify defendants being sued for copyright infringement.

However, I really do hope Jamie Nicole is still with us, reading the message boards anonymously. I hope she has only attempted internet suicide, to break away from her existing persona to forge a new persona. If you are reading, like I hope you are, there will always be challenges, and bullies, and people who will say things with malice. These people are nothing. They will grow to nothing. They will learn they are nothing and live alone, full of regret. The challenges you experience now will, in time, feel small. You will look back on life and see the mountains you've crossed. You will understand what it is to be challenged, to walk the high road, to get through difficult times. Those mountains hadn't defeated you. Those who teased, bullied, the ones who tried to hurt and bring misery, they're walking the low road, the easy path, the one that when they look back on life they see how empty the space between is, how meaningless their accomplishments are.

You are strong, they are weak. Every time someone gives you a look, judges you, makes a comment you only need wonder why it's so important to them, what is it about you that makes them so worried that they need to marginalize you, to break you down, to make you nothing. Why? Are they afraid? Perhaps jealous that you have the strength they don't, that they themselves feel the way we all here feel, that they are too pathetic to make themselves whole. Or perhaps they are blinded by religion, by ignorance, by rhetoric that has been pressed so deeply into their very essence that they are incapable from seeing right from wrong. In this case I can assure you no rhetoric is so ingrained that it can stay put without upkeep, and in time will peel away. These people will change and feel foolish.

Just remember, you are what matters. What you want is all that matters. Life is your oyster, believe in yourself and you can have everything.

[azSam]

Yes, ISP's lease out dynamic IP addresses for an amount of time, they also keep records of who leased which IP address at any given time. Pretty sure they are required by law to store this information. It is entirely possible to find her based on her IP address.

[azSam]

I hope by "world" you mean this forum, even though it's not that bad compared to the rest of the world, or the world of a pre-op TS. If not then I hope you changed your mind since posting this, you've gone through too much to throw it all away (there's me being cliche again).

Cliche or not, it's very true. I hope that she is alright.

[Caith]

Jamie, I seriously miss your presence here. 
I hope you read and respond to my PM. 
Please don't leave us.