Greetings

[sunny-side]

Hi all.

My name isn't Sunny, but that's what I'd like to be called for now anyway.

I'm 25 years old and born a woman.  Or, born as a very tiny little girl, I suppose, lol.  I am straight in the fact that I am still physically female and am attracted solely to men (specifically to my boyfriend, like none other <3 ) and do not identify as a male.  However, I don't know that I really identify as a female either and have recently stumbled upon the idea of androgyny.

I'm here for support and answers because I'm really still in the beginning stages of figuring all of this out.  I've always known that something was a bit off but I'm just now trying to figure out why and I honestly feel like I'm grasping at straws in the dark.

[sunny-side]

Hi, AbracaDebra!  And thanks <3

This site really is helpful... the more I read the more I learn.  I suppose the more appropriate way to phrase things is that I am genetically female, androphilic, and possibly an androgyne (but not androgynous, at least, not at the moment.  I may not have much hips to speak for and I may not dress girly, but I've got these big breasts and nothing to do with them *pokes at them*).  Still looking into things and I'm going to try testing different things out to see if anything clicks.  I just know that I look at other women and I don't feel like them, and even take offense when called a "lady" or told I should be a certain way because other women are and I know that I am not!  I've always identified more with males but I don't feel like I identify as a male either.  I don't know, I'm still confused.

[sunny-side]

Oh, well thanks!

I've always been against stereotyping and generalizations, but the whole fluidity of gender just had never occurred to me before.  People compartmentalize all kinds of things that they shouldn't, and start applying labels because it's easier to handle that way... I think it's just part of human nature.  I'm quite happy to be outside the box in several ways, including this one!

On another note, as far as my story is going, I guess, I've told my boyfriend what I've been looking into and such.  At first he was worried that I was going to get surgery or something along those lines, but really, I'm mostly fine with my body just not with my assigned gender role, if that makes sense.  After talking more he's totally cool with it all.  After all, it's my masculine personality traits that he loves the most about me, go figure!  So I'm really happy that I at least have his support.  I know I won't have it from my family, and I don't see a reason to open up to them about this at all, so I don't think I will.

[sunny-side]

Exactly!  I always figure so long as someone is happy and not hurting others I should be happy for them.  Unfortunately I come from an ultra-conservative family that doesn't see things that way.  They were recently saying how disappointed they were in my cousin, treating her like a black sheep because she's pregnant and moving in with a guy.  She's about 30 years old and already has 2 kids from a previous marriage in which her ex was a total jackass.  I'm completely happy that she found a nice man who treats her children like his own!  I really don't get why my family has to be so judgmental over it.  So yeah, seeing how they feel even about that I'm thinking I really should not come out to them about my search or even what I find.  It's not like I'm looking to be anything other than me, I'm simply seeking a better understanding of myself, and if I change at all through my discoveries, I can't see it being for anything other than the better.  I doubt they'll even notice anyway, so totally not worth the grief I'd get over it.