FTM trend?

[wendy]

I'd like to point out that not every trans* person has an "a-ha moment" about being trans. For some people it's a process and others, they've known forever. I'd be careful to pass judgement on those having an "identity crisis" as your friend puts it. Everyone's journey is there own and no less valid than any yours. I have a friend who feels like they are both, but does consider themselves transgender. I can't quite explain why since I don't think that's my place and frankly, can't explain why someone else feels that way. What I will say is I don't think it's any less valid then someone claiming to be a transman. I consider the word transgender to be an umbrella term for all gender variants anyway.

I see some judgement on this thread as to what trans is and isn't. Who is and who isn't. I guess I kind-of opened that can of worms by asking the question. I would like to see some of these tumblr kids in 10 years though.

Do know what really amazed me about transmen I met?  They tended to be real nice and very sensitive.

I tend to live "between genders" and most people refer to me as "Sir".  Reason thread appeals to me is that I present "male" at many of my group meetings.  A number of MTF's thought me a FTM which makes me chuckle.

Last year I was having dinner with a delightful FTM that accompanied a MTF professor and after dinner nature called.  I visited male restroom because I "look" male and dress in between.  FTM walked in restroom and appologized to me.  "He" totally passed and I told him not to apologize.  Picture this: I visit male restroom looking between genders and FTM visits restroom looking male and FTM apologizes to me!  Wow he was very sensitive and that impressed me.  He was worried about my feelings!

Clothes do not make you transgender but you do not know how a person feels inside.  Maybe is is a trend and maybe it is not.  Kindness and respect will always win.  Cursing is not cool and not male.  It is just crude.

I noticed today that major department store was advertising dress shoes in many colors...for men!  My goodness what took so long!

I love Jerry Garcia ties.  Wow they are silk and very beautiful.  Hey if you must wear a tie wear one of these!

You must be a bigger man than rest and show respect to everyone and all women will love you for it!  A MTF that transitions is rare; a FTM that transitions is rarer indeed! 

[Darrin Scott]

Do know what really amazed me about transmen I met?  They tended to be real nice and very sensitive.

I tend to live "between genders" and most people refer to me as "Sir".  Reason thread appeals to me is that I present "male" at many of my group meetings.  A number of MTF's thought me a FTM which makes me chuckle.

Last year I was having dinner with a delightful FTM that accompanied a MTF professor and after dinner nature called.  I visited male restroom because I "look" male and dress in between.  FTM walked in restroom and appologized to me.  "He" totally passed and I told him not to apologize.  Picture this: I visit male restroom looking between genders and FTM visits restroom looking male and FTM apologizes to me!  Wow he was very sensitive and that impressed me.  He was worried about my feelings!

Clothes do not make you transgender but you do not know how a person feels inside.  Maybe is is a trend and maybe it is not.  Kindness and respect will always win.  Cursing is not cool and not male.  It is just crude.

I noticed today that major department store was advertising dress shoes in many colors...for men!  My goodness what took so long!

I love Jerry Garcia ties.  Wow they are silk and very beautiful.  Hey if you must wear a tie wear one of these!

You must be a bigger man than rest and show respect to everyone and all women will love you for it!  A MTF that transitions is rare; a FTM that transitions is rarer indeed!

I'm not quite sure how what I said relates to this, but I do try to be respectful of everyone as best as I can. It's very important to show respect no matter the gender. I don't buy into the "I'm a dude, I need to be rude/crude" junk. I'm not that old, but too old for that. I'm not changing my personality to meet some standard of "maleness". (please note, I don't think being rude/crude is "male" or that all ftms should/are like this. TOTALLY not true). But honestly, this journey is about being comfortable with myself not a trans standard.

Also, I do agree that it's not the clothes that make a person transgendered, but what they feel inside. I personally think that when we talk about trends we see a lot of young teens on tumblr/youtube etc talking about being ftm and other than what is said on the blog/vlog we're unaware of how they feel. I guess my point to make in general here is, we don't know who "really is trans" or who isn't. It's such an individual journey and I personally can't say who's "for real" and who isn't. It's none of my business anyway. What someone does in internet land doesn't effect my everyday life and people go through this journey differently. Some people arrive at transition and a lot don't. That's all I'm trying to say.

[wendy]

I'm not quite sure how what I said relates to this, but I do try to be respectful of everyone as best as I can. It's very important to show respect no matter the gender. I don't buy into the "I'm a dude, I need to be rude/crude" junk.

Darrin, some MTF feel it is cool to curse.  My children are very respectful of people and love and respect me.  They do not curse and I am proud of them!

At one point I identified as an FTM, in fact, a very binary transsexual type seeing as I plan to have everything done, including bottom surgery. I had a prejudice against the femme FTMs and genderqueer people, quite a fierce one. My dysphoria was terrible, and a part of me felt threatened by these people who could express parts of themselves so freely while all I wanted was to transition and not make a fuss. I'm white, middle-class, I behave in a masculine and way. Most of my values have Judeo-Christian roots. So when I transitioned, I would be the "everyman." So these people (femme and genderqueer) threatened my identity; how could anyone take me seriously when they saw all these people drawing attention to themselves and going against society's comfort zone? 

CB we all start female and some of us get stuck being male so that we can repopulate world!  Why would any female want to be male?  I feel exactly way you feel only on opposite side.  Hey I dress male because I was socialized male.  Just because I do not run around in a dress does not make me invalid!  I just tried to survive!

Only 10% of transsexuals will transition.  Surgeries are brutal and expensive.  Now let's say 10 times that number "dress for attention".  That means 10% ftm "cross dressers" may never transition but truly feel a disconnect on gender.  Can you pick which ones are looking for attention and which ones feel a disconnect with gender? 

I hope both genders want to be more expressive in their clothes!  Yes it is trendy for females to dress as a male but at end of day how many females want to cut off their breasts just as how many males prefer to have breasts?  Very few... but we are special and we are more sensitive than them and one day we will be appreciated again.

FTM trend...yes.  Which ones... don't know.  Sensitive...Always.  Why...they have their own problems!     

[Aodhán]

<sup>I don't understand why pretending to be trans* has become a fad, honestly.
I seriously can not log in to tumblr anymore without seeing almost every other teen girl's blog claiming to be FTM. A couple friends and friends of friends have done it, even.

Now my friend-- we'll call her S-- went overboard with this "fad". She was a lesbian for the longest time. However, after my friend and I finally decided to come out to our friends, S decided that she was going to be FTM too. It was a "cool idea", she told us. Um, lol. Anyway, she went on calling herself "Rowan" for about 2 or 3 months. Then, she decided she was bigender and started using the "we" pronoun.. though she didn't even bother to properly look in to what being bigendered was, and tumblr is full of anons who are ready and willing to give their blunt, honest opinions. She was called out on this, then decided to be FTM again. A week or so later, she was a lesbian once more.
In the end, it turned out she was only trying to impress my friend that I had mentioned before.

I can't see why anyone would turn this into a fad, that repulses me to no end and it gives us honest transfolk a bad reputation.</sup>