cisgendered male friends

[Kerberos]

So something has been bugging me lately. I wish I had a group of guy friends to just hang with, play video games, watch baseball, workout at the gym, etc. Does anyone have the experience with this happening naturally after starting transitioning? It's been almost 3 years for me, and I wonder what I do wrong where I can't just be "one of the guys". maybe I need to learn some social skills but I'm also in my 30's, lol.

any advice or life experiences is much appreciated.

[anibioman]

i have always had a bunch of cis girl friends and a bunch of lgbt friends. i only recently started building a group of guy friends but its difficult as all the guys i know know im trans as they go to my school. i have a really good guy friend and im trying to get more guy friends by getting closer to his friends.

[Taka]

easiest way to get guy friends would be to go to places where guys tend to gather. at my uni those were the anime, go, and japan clubs for me. any kind of workout will usually also take you to places with lots of guys. conversations will happen naturally if you're in a place you feel comfortable, so stick to your own interests when looking for new friends

[~RoadToTrista~]

I want guy friends too.

[driven]

Since you mentioned liking baseball, sports bars are a great place to make new guy friends. Watching a game makes it easier to start up a conversation because there's usually a good play or controversial call you can talk about with the guy next to you.

Gyms aren't really conducive to socializing unless you go to one of those full-service places with tennis courts and a restaurant/bar. If it's just a weights/cardio gym, people tend to just do their workout and get out as fast as possible. Most of the people at my current gym have headphones on so you can't even talk to 'em during your workout. If you like to play sports, try looking for a rec league team to join.

It does get harder to find new friends as you get older, so there may not be anything wrong with your social skills. I'm also in my 30s and all of a sudden I'm having to make an effort to meet new people instead of just randomly falling into groups of friends like I used to.

[LilKittyCatZoey]

Well seeming i was forced to grow up as a boy i know both how to lose and get guy friends. The key word is dont be a "girl" dont aww, dont cry, dont let a boy hit you with out a fight, dont stop a boy from commenting on a girl, and bring up simple comments to start a conversation and just role with whatever they talk about. These are how i did it but dont forget never was a real boy so i just learnt how to fool it and those random stereotypical ways work lol. good luck!!

Oh oh here try the bro code men love this thing!!  everything aBOUT THIS I FIND WEIRD AND I GUESS THATS THE POINT!! and you can find the audio one somewhere mwa mwa good luck!!
http://www.thebrocode.co.uk/
http://www.thebrocode.org/
http://thebroscode.com/
www.facebook.com/pages/The-Bro-Code/28812359573

Believe it or not but it works haha

[Kerberos]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I think I need to get out more and try to do things that interest me. I'm a bit of an introvert, so it can be hard though. 

And you are right Driven, i think it can be more difficult the older we get.

[PixieBoy]

My interests are usually seen as quite traditionally "manly" or at least "boyish" - I like video games, tabletop roleplaying games, and science (currently into physics, and as a Newtonian fella I find the idea of quantum physics bizarre and I wish it wasn't so). I've always found it easier to "connect" with guys, no matter my age.
My method for socializing is simple: Join groups/clubs/whatever relevant for your interests, whenever someone talks about something interesting you should walk up to them and start talking with them. The thing about groups/clubs is because it's often easier to socialize when you share a few things with the people around you, and shared interests ted to build friendships. The thing about walking up two people and join their conversation is because of similar reasons. This might not fare well with everyone, some might find you too "pushy" and consider you annoying, but for me it's worked.

[Wolfsnake]

I grew up as a weird guylike anomaly, so I used to get along better with men than with women (we're talking hetero/cis folks here, which were the only kind I knew growing up in Conservative Land). When I moved out of state and everyone started treating me as female and expecting me to understand feminine interactions I got really confoozed.

The one big rule I can think of is this: don't go into a situation thinking "I want to be one of the guys, damn it." Go into it saying, "I'm one of the guys, damn it."

[Natkat]

I am pretty gender neutral when it comes to friends, I got both male and female friends and probely more females but I dont really care..

if you want a group of guy friends maybe you could join some kind of sport or activetys who mainly include males..,
I remember when I where younger I played alot of soccer, and it where alwas 0 or very few girls, so you easly became on of the guys on the team, it very pretty nice and I enjoyed the company, I also got invited to an all boy party, even thought I never play videogames, and stuff I enjoyed it.
or if your lazy I guess you could get video games sleep overs and stuff, playing conterstrike or something?

[LilKittyCatZoey]

I am pretty gender neutral when it comes to friends, I got both male and female friends and probely more females but I dont really care..

if you want a group of guy friends maybe you could join some kind of sport or activetys who mainly include males..,
I remember when I where younger I played alot of soccer, and it where alwas 0 or very few girls, so you easly became on of the guys on the team, it very pretty nice and I enjoyed the company, I also got invited to an all boy party, even thought I never play videogames, and stuff I enjoyed it.
or if your lazy I guess you could get video games sleep overs and stuff, playing conterstrike or something?

First thing dont call them a video games sleep overs, guys have a complex about sleep overs lol its a lan simple as that. I agree try gaming its a good easy way to make male friends,

[Natkat]

I don't know other word for it in english?
it generally when you go home to someone to play videogames for the whole night,
you dont sleep just stay up the whole night, I dont know what it called?

[LilKittyCatZoey]

Accepted term is 'lan' Sir yes 'lan' weird but true 

[malinkibear]

Can't really help, since my friends are mainly cismales anyway, but I still don't really feel like 'one of the guys'. I'm not 'one of the girls' either - I'm just in the middle. That said, we already hang out as a three and watch shows together, and one of them suggested we be gym buddies next year. I think it's one of those things that just happens when you find the right friends. I can't really give any advice, since being 20 years old in university is a lot different to being in your thirties, but good luck!

[Kerberos]

What's the best way to get into group gaming with other guys? I'm pretty sucky with video games, even though I enjoy them quite a bit. Just don't want to seem like a poser is all.

Does/has anyone gotten into live action role playing games with other guys successfully?

[Kerberos]

The one big rule I can think of is this: don't go into a situation thinking "I want to be one of the guys, damn it." Go into it saying, "I'm one of the guys, damn it."

Excellent point Wolfsnake, thanks! Confidence is important I keep hearing...

[malinkibear]

What's the best way to get into group gaming with other guys? I'm pretty sucky with video games, even though I enjoy them quite a bit. Just don't want to seem like a poser is all.

Does/has anyone gotten into live action role playing games with other guys successfully?

I think Squirrel983 (I forget the number, something like that) LARPs, try asking him. You won't be a poser if you actually enjoy playing. I easily score the worst out of my buds on COD: UO, and keep getting my ass kicked on Age of Empires, but because I find them a lot of fun, there's no awkward 'trying to fit in' vibe. It's just a shared interest. You kinda need some friends interested in it first though, and a game they all generally like. COD can usually fill that hole

[LilKittyCatZoey]

well i am ex pro of command and conquer tib 4 my pc stopped playing it so i gave up. Trust me i was go ask any pro in that game if they ever played with LilKitty any who seeming i stopped and was good at games heres some tips just play for fun gosh anyways guys like teaching other guys how to get their butts wiped its good bonding but try call of duty i found myself in games always invited to clans and kicked right after i said i was a girl lol. The simple fact if your bad or good a boy will be accepted for just playing video games but not sims my fav game ever but a complete social life killer for boys.

therefore zoeys top tips for being a gamer boy:

Practice how you think i became a pro in a game duh!
have fun
be a sore winner but not a as***le
Never ever ever challenged your friends
always be ready for a game.


These may sound stupid but from a girl trying to be a boy they worked perfectly hope this helps!

[ajborelli]

my neighbor and i have always been really close to each other, he is 3 years younger than i am, i taught him how to skateboard and taught him how to get girls, and we would play video games together all the time, basically you couldnt seperate us when we were little and than my best friend is also a guy. he happens to be gay but he is stilll all male. now i mainly hang out with my neighbor and all his friends and the skateboarding crew. all guys and all we really do is skate. they help me through a lot, especaily CJ, when we skate a lot of the guys like to take there shirts off and they dont really remember or take note i cant do that cuz they forget i am trans and not full male, but even though CJ has an amazing body he will stay with me and keep his shirt on with me as well. and when we all go swimming james keeps a shirt on with me knowing how ugh i get about it. my guy friends are really accepting of me and i love it. most of the friends i have that are girls are gay or bisexual so they are just like okay as long as you smile idgaf and my sister even though shes a girl shes gay and pretty manly i love her but we play video games and i try to get her to skate and all.

[IowaBoy]

One thing that worked for me was meeting people on social media sites from the comfort of my own home and then meeting them in real life after we became friendly. Also as have been said just getting involved in anything you like.

It is MUCH easier to make new friends than to try to convert the old.