Bothering me more now.....

[Darrin Scott]

It seems to bother me more that people say "honey" or "sweety" in stores to me then it did before I started going by a male name. Has this happened to anyone else?

[N.Chaos]

I actually can't say that anyone besides friends/family has ever said that to me. Then again, according to everyone I look pissed constantly and most people are afraid of me for some reason or another.

Does it piss you off because you think they're reading you as female, or is it just pissing you off in general?

[Silas]

Hm... "hon" and "sweetheart" are the only ones I've gotten, but usually by much older women, and to me those two feel like just something you call a kid. All the ones I can think of feel rather androgynous to me, and I present pretty androgynously, so it doesn't bother me TOO much. I mean, I look like a young kid to most.

But sometimes it can feel like they're doing that as they perceive you as female, which is a pisser. Or it can be somewhat condescending.

[Darrin Scott]

I think maybe because they read me as female. I'm just getting used to people calling me Darrin so it's a little weird. But you're right, only older women call me those names.

[Battle_On]

My mom has taken to calling me 'girl' every chance she gets. Its kind of weird being that I'm not out and dont pass at all, but it frustrates me to no end.

[Mr.Rainey]

A lot of people in the south call everyone hun. Older ladies tend to do this sometimes too so keep that in mind.

[Darrin Scott]

Well, today was a MUCH better day. I got my L Tri-Top in the mail today. On tumblr I was someone post that Wal*Mart had superhero underwear. I went on a whim and bought 2 pairs as well as a pack of plain T's. When I got to the dressing room part it was separated. Men's and Women's. I got up there with a sleeveless shirt to try on and the lady at the counter said "good afternoon sir" and opened the MEN'S dressing room and I did my business. Then later while walking around I almost bumped into another Wal*Mart employee and she said "excuse me, sir". Then, when I got to the check-out line no "honey", "sweety" or any of that crap. Best day in a long time!

[Luc]

I find that older women, typically those working in retail, are prone to using these pet names with customers. It's happened to me many times, and by my avatar, I'm sure you can tell NO ONE mistakes me for anything but male anymore. Obviously, that may not be what's going on with you, Darrin, but it has happened to me enough that I can say it's certainly not something said only to female-appearing individuals.

[Elijah3291]

I find that older women, typically those working in retail, are prone to using these pet names with customers. It's happened to me many times, and by my avatar, I'm sure you can tell NO ONE mistakes me for anything but male anymore. Obviously, that may not be what's going on with you, Darrin, but it has happened to me enough that I can say it's certainly not something said only to female-appearing individuals.

yep, in the south honey and sweetie can be used for men, particularly young (looking) men.

[Darrin Scott]

hmmm. Maybe it wasn't a female thing. I really can't say.

[~RoadToTrista~]

I get called "hon" and "sweety" by women all the time.

[Da Monkey]

Well, today was a MUCH better day. I got my L Tri-Top in the mail today. On tumblr I was someone post that Wal*Mart had superhero underwear. I went on a whim and bought 2 pairs as well as a pack of plain T's. When I got to the dressing room part it was separated. Men's and Women's. I got up there with a sleeveless shirt to try on and the lady at the counter said "good afternoon sir" and opened the MEN'S dressing room and I did my business. Then later while walking around I almost bumped into another Wal*Mart employee and she said "excuse me, sir". Then, when I got to the check-out line no "honey", "sweety" or any of that crap. Best day in a long time!

That's awesome dude. I remember having those days too back when I first came out. It was an amazing feeling.

[Windmill]

Well, today was a MUCH better day. I got my L Tri-Top in the mail today. On tumblr I was someone post that Wal*Mart had superhero underwear. I went on a whim and bought 2 pairs as well as a pack of plain T's. When I got to the dressing room part it was separated. Men's and Women's. I got up there with a sleeveless shirt to try on and the lady at the counter said "good afternoon sir" and opened the MEN'S dressing room and I did my business. Then later while walking around I almost bumped into another Wal*Mart employee and she said "excuse me, sir". Then, when I got to the check-out line no "honey", "sweety" or any of that crap. Best day in a long time!

Awesome!

[Natkat]

this kinda strange
in my world "sweety" and "honey" is only something you can call people if you know them personal.
unless you know the workers I would feel someone calling me "sweety or honey" where flirting..

I get called "sweety(in my languarge)" alot by friends, and have also called people simular sweet-words things..
it dosent bother me, but many people think im cute, and if I get called cute too much I can get annoyed.

I once got called babe wish I found very VERY strange O_O
and.. nuggi*?.....(extremly cute thing) I just couldnt take it seriously.."

[ninjaboi]

On the other side of the coin, i love it when i get called Sir! 

[Brent123]

 My brother calls me "woman" a lot. It makes everything worse since I told him about my gender identity issues. Then when I tell him to stop he says something like "I feel that since you've told me about that whole thing you've gotten way too sensitive about everything." Talk about bs.

[MaxAloysius]

It might just be me, but my experience here in Australia has been that it's not really acceptable to call people by these kind of pet names unless you know them well and have that kind of relationship with them. Calling someone 'honey', 'sweety', 'darling' etc is seen as demeaning/patronising by general consensus. You do get the occasional elderly person who will use terms like this, because they grew up in different times, but it's really dying out now.

[Darrin Scott]

It might just be me, but my experience here in Australia has been that it's not really acceptable to call people by these kind of pet names unless you know them well and have that kind of relationship with them. Calling someone 'honey', 'sweety', 'darling' etc is seen as demeaning/patronising by general consensus. You do get the occasional elderly person who will use terms like this, because they grew up in different times, but it's really dying out now.

Well, I live in Florida so it's sort-of "the south", but yeah.....it might just be that I look young. I do pass as male from time to time, but I don't like being called those names. I'm not sure if I should say something or not. I mean, I know they're trying to be nice.

[Natkat]

It might just be me, but my experience here in Australia has been that it's not really acceptable to call people by these kind of pet names unless you know them well and have that kind of relationship with them. Calling someone 'honey', 'sweety', 'darling' etc is seen as demeaning/patronising by general consensus. You do get the occasional elderly person who will use terms like this, because they grew up in different times, but it's really dying out now.

well it the same for me, workers shouldnt refern to you,in other ways than "you" or "they" if there going to be polite.
im pretty happy it so gender neutral..
only kind of saying im having trouble with is my brother being very popular, he know alot of people in my town so everyone who knows him and he interduce me to start to call me "the little sister" wich really annoying me.. im his little brother, but I feel odd by getting out to strangers...

[AlectheViking]

Well, today was a MUCH better day. I got my L Tri-Top in the mail today. On tumblr I was someone post that Wal*Mart had superhero underwear. I went on a whim and bought 2 pairs as well as a pack of plain T's. When I got to the dressing room part it was separated. Men's and Women's. I got up there with a sleeveless shirt to try on and the lady at the counter said "good afternoon sir" and opened the MEN'S dressing room and I did my business. Then later while walking around I almost bumped into another Wal*Mart employee and she said "excuse me, sir". Then, when I got to the check-out line no "honey", "sweety" or any of that crap. Best day in a long time!

Yay!! That's super awesome dude And totally on the superhero underwear at walmart haha I was very excited to say the least!

Now that I've started coming out and getting used to the name Alek, hearing my birth name is weird. In fact, it's started to really aggravate me. I'm not sure about 'sweetie' or 'hun'...I'm used to that being used for both men and women. I think it would really bother me if an older gentleman said sweetie because I would sense it as identifying me as female

well it the same for me, workers shouldnt refern to you,in other ways than "you" or "they" if there going to be polite.
im pretty happy it so gender neutral..
only kind of saying im having trouble with is my brother being very popular, he know alot of people in my town so everyone who knows him and he interduce me to start to call me "the little sister" wich really annoying me.. im his little brother, but I feel odd by getting out to strangers...

That would be very frustrating. I get what you're talking about though. I've been meeting new people while in the process of coming out for the last couple months, and everytime I have to debate 'well am I going to try to come out to this person or no?' When I thought about it though, it seemed easier to just start introducing myself as such instead of trying to do it at a later time. Plus, I would say you're not coming out to a person you don't know, simply introducing yourself as who you really are I would say try to introduce yourself by your preferred name because then that's how they'll know you from the start!