A Revelation or a Dream, which is the reality?
just wish to add something, possibly a strange dream anyway I woke up thinking about all of this transsexual stuff and being normal or striving to live a normal life. I mean I think striving to live as normal a life as we can possibly accomplish is out greatest goal in this life, is it not?.
I was thinking we went through or we go through this period of insanity in our lives, except that the insanity of transsexualism is not that transsexualism is the disorder. It's what we were before and after we were hit by GID that is the abnormality, and it was realizing that what we were suffering from a disorder prior to transitioning, or what lead to transitioning is what is all wrong.
Being what we were before leading up to transition was what was abnormality, and subconsciously and instinctively we knew that. Every fiber of our being screamed it at us until we did something about it.
All of this psychological and psychotherapy stuff we have undergone was to help us become normal functioning human beings so that we could live and cope as normal human beings within our own true beings. See, that also make sense as to why a lot of us choose to go stealth, we don't want to be reminded of the insanity we have experienced in the past to become our own normal selves.
Would you like to be reminded of a time spent in an insane asylum cowering in the corner of a padded cell sweating profusely, chewing on your fingernails and muttering to yourself unintelligibly in fear and terror, locked up in your own mind not being able to communicate what is going on inside your own grey mater to anyone else?
I don't feel abnormal today? I have learned to live a normal life as the normal me in my correct gender and sexual Identity. This is me, I love me today. It's not some silly ass game, it's reality. To bring soul, body and mind online and in harmony with one another is as real as it gets.
It is those out there who play their silly ass games with us and so forth and so forth, not mentioning any names, shoot the message not the messenger. These are the ones with the unbalanced minds, the ones who don't want to see us get well because their silly assed little games would come to an end. See? Does that make sense?
Being who I am and having gone through the process would also explain why I have always had this compulsion to do everything within my power to help those who are in need. It is also part of me part of the instinct of the individual that I am.
Other wise what the "F" am I doing here wasting my time. I have a reasonably happy life, living as normally as I can as who I am, and there are plenty out there who would appreciated my support.
You see my only problem is I just don't see it like about 80% of the rest of the population of this world, like the attitude I don't do unless I know what's in it for me. I was never a what's in it for me selfish bitch like a lot of other people are out there. I was for a time and it nearly killed me to. I do pray most everyone here understands what I am speaking about.
After weeks of working with another individual who was threatening to give up on life I had that dream above and I quickly posted it here on some other thread. I though that maybe it may be of a benefit to soemone here. I lost my strugle to try to help that other individual I pray that this time it will be of help to someone here.
My closing words to that other individual.
I am normal today, I am finally who I should have been all along. I am for once in my life *right* No body wants to listen to me then that's their loss, not mine. Even if somehow someone found me beat to death in some ally some morning I will have died as myself with a clean conscience and happier then I ever was before in my life, I have the ingredients on how to be me and to be content to be me, to be normal and to be happy, If I don't get any buyers it will not be for lack of not trying.
Maybe it just hurts me when I see I am going to again loose another one. Tears of frustration for my failure to be unable to reach out and touch that individual. But stupid or weird I am not I am just me with her limitations even though her heart is in the right place.
I would like to build the world a home and furnish it with love, grow apple trees and honey bees and snow white turtle doves. I would like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, I would like to hold it in my arms and keep it company.
Cindy
