Using the women's restroom.

[jmaxley]

I was once in a library where the men's restroom was on one side of the library and women's restroom was on the other.  When I went to ask where the restroom was, the man behind the desk pointed out both of them.

I've gotten "the look" before too in the women's restroom, though I haven't had anyone say anything to me.  I'm still really nervous about using the men's room and have only been a few times.  My first time was at a Red Lobster and thankfully there was no one in there.

[anibioman]

i always use mens rooms except for school. i use either the health office bathroom or the theater office bathroom it used to be gender neutral but now its boys but everyone uses it.

last year i wasnt out yet at school but people who didnt know me read me as male so once a teacher i didnt know was like "excuse me thats the girls bathroom" i replied "exactly." i find thats the easyest way to deal with situations like that.

also once at the country club my parents belong to i asked where the bathroom was and they would only tell me where the mens room was. i wasnt out at the time so i had to go to the womens and the people who  worked there refused to tell me where the womens bathroom was. it caused me great distress as i hate going to the womens room anyway.

[RyGuy]

last year i wasnt out yet at school but people who didnt know me read me as male so once a teacher i didnt know was like "excuse me thats the girls bathroom" i replied "exactly." i find thats the easyest way to deal with situations like that.

one time back when i was still using the womens someone came in and asked "is this the womens restroom?" and i said "no, this is the parking garage. the womens restroom is on the 2nd floor." (we were in a one story building)

[rexyrex]

i get odd and weird looks when i use the woman loo, and yes  i have been told "u know this is the woman loo" i was like yeah i know, at college some guy saw me coming out of the woman loo and said "dude why did u go in to the woman loo :L the gents are over there" then after that i stoped using the public loo. But since i went to a male full time and i seem to pass quite well (Pre everything too), i started using the gents no one said a thing no one looked....came out feeling much happier. Yes the 1st time i used it i felt like my heart was pounding so fast and hard it felt like it was going to come out from my mouth.

[Noah G.]

I've always hated using the women's restrooms for as long as I can remember; I've always felt awkward and as though I didn't belong (which I didn't) and it has always earned me weird looks, even during junior high and high school. Consequently, personal history has resulted in a habit of holding it when out and about and in public unless I really, truly could not. This has been true even during school and on road trips.

For a little while now I have been using men's restrooms when in public, though I still retain the habit of preferring to hold for the most part. I have never had a problem doing so, and even when there are other men (or boys) in there it has been as smooth and natural a thing as there could be. Have even exchanged a nod or two.

I've actually refused to use a restroom when pointed to the women's and deciding I didn't want to deal with that (especially as they were visible from just about the entire restaurant): fortunately, I only needed to wash my hands. I made do with napkins instead.

Where I work currently, however, there are no employee restrooms and the only option is men's or women's -- I'm also not out at this job and the smock I have to wear apparently hinders passing (it was actually something I needed to adjust to, the fact that I was pegged so often and so easily as female). It feels wrong using the women's restroom even there, even with a uniform, and I dread needing to use the bathroom. Often I have no choice though. I end up feeling like I'm doing something illegal with the precautions I take. It's seriously ridiculous. Not to mention anymore I get paranoid that a mother will either think I'm in the wrong restroom or determine me to be an unknown and jump to the conclusion that I'm a pedo (because I know there's mothers out there like that) -- does anyone else deal with that concern? Or am I just strange?

As for the claim that men's rooms are dirty and gross: I personally haven't seen that to be anything more than a stereotype. I've worked in retail for some time now and so have heard stories about the bathrooms, I've also had to clean them on occasion at my last job (which was at a gas station convenience store at that), and there's really little difference (at least in my area and experience). Believe me: women's restrooms can be horrendous while the men's has been virtually spotless or just a little dirty. As for the mention of men not feeling any reason not to ->-bleeped-<- and piss all over, I can guarantee that some women don't either -- with the extra bonus that they also have a time of month if you get what I'm saying. I've never noticed a difference in the restrooms I've only used either...perhaps it depends on the type of establishment and/or whether they clean their restrooms regularly, but I've also had people support my experience from different areas, so take from this what you will.

[brandnewman]

I don't pass yet, but I think I look more androgynous or slightly more male than before, because some service people do not address me in a gendered way (saying Sir or Ma'am is customary where I live) and have a confused look on their face when they hear my deepening voice and look at my face.

That said, I use the men's when I feel it is safe and comfortable to do so. I would prefer to do it all the time, regardless of how clean or gross it is. I will definitely use it all the time once I know I pass 100%. For now, though, I assess whether it is safe, considering what kind of place I find myself in. Queer establishments are usually fine, straight ones less so, especially if they are grungier or more traditional.

[N.Chaos]

Last time I used the girls' room was probably January, and I couldn't do it. I actually started to have a panic attack, couldn't piss, and just ran across the hall too the guys' room. I was with a friend who (at the time) was completely unsupportive of me, and I was terrified that if I went in the mens' room initially he'd call me out on it. It never happened, I finally got him to comprehend how serious this is, and now he's on my side 100%. We actually ended up in the bathroom at the same time last time we were at the bar, and he just made a "Well isn't this awkward" joke.

[BMXJake]

I've found that if the women's is closed and the men's isn't busy or if it's a "solo" mens' restroom (like where its just you, and a locking door, no stalls) I'll take up the dgaf attitude and go in.

Months ago after my girlfriend turned 18 we went to a gay nightclub on the strip that allows 18+ on friday nights. I eventually had to pee really bad, and walked into the restroom with her and realized it was the men's. I asked the attendant in there where the women's was and he said it didn't matter and not to worry about it. I accidentally blurted out "Cool!", my girlfriend thought it was hilarious (but she waited outside). I actually took my time in there. Although there were a lot of straight guys in there that night none of them thought anything of it.

[VannaSiamese]

Edit : anyone have any tips for being pee shy? Like how to make yourself piss when it's refusing to come out? I try regulating my breathing, closing my eyes, imaging I'm somewhere else.

Oh I hate that!  I have always been so pee shy.  As a guy I always sat down to pee in public because it seemed to make me relax more.  As weird as this sounds, try holding your breath... this tactic saved me in highschool.  Just hold your breath until you are about to pass out, and you should start peeing =)
Hope this helps... and don't pass out!

[tekla]

clear facts; guys room are groose

If you meant 'gross' then you're wrong.  Big restrooms at big public events, like nightclubs, concerts, etc. tend to be far more messed up then the men's rooms are.  The higher the income bracket of the women, the worse the room.

[RyGuy]

clear facts; guys room are groose

If you meant 'gross' then you're wrong.  Big restrooms at big public events, like nightclubs, concerts, etc. tend to be far more messed up then the men's rooms are.  The higher the income bracket of the women, the worse the room.

i think the messiness of the restroom is directly proportional to the amount of time the occupants spend in it.

[Windmill]

Last night I was at a burlesque show and had to use the restroom at intermission, yeah that was awkward.  I don't pass well at all and because it was hot as hell and I was coming from work I didn't have my binder with me, so I used the women's restroom, haha which led to me standing awkwardly in line feeling distinctly male and uncomfortable and like the ladies had a feeling I didn't belong there either.  Haha I have to say, it's always when I'm with a group of women that I feel like we all know I don't quite belong there :-p

Haha and to comment on the cleanliness of bathrooms (just cause I clean them at work) in my experience the men's room is usually dirtier (we have a mostly male customer base) and tends to smell like pee more often, but the women's room is usually where the more digusting things occur (because the women are too embarassed?  idk).

[mm]

I use the men's whenever I can, much more comfortable for me.  I find them usually cleaner where I go.  The women's can be a mess at times with girls not getting there sanitary items all the way in the bins. Seemd like when I ask I am always directed to the men's.  At school where I am known to some the students and instructors, I use the men's in buildings where I am not likely to be seen by someone I know.  When I have to change my tampon I do it quickly rap the old one in TP and wait for the chance to get it deep in the trash.  I wish there were more single person restrooms.

[JoshuaKael]

Even though I pass so often with people that haven't known me previously, I almost always use the woman's restroom simply because my town is so small. :/
The chances of me running into someone in the men's restroom that knows me or that someone that knows me will see me going in or out are pretty high.
I'm not ballsy enough to just be like, yup, I'm using the men's. But who knows... Maybe I'll be able to buck up one day and say, "->-bleeped-<- you, I'm a man." lol.

[driven]

If you meant 'gross' then you're wrong.  Big restrooms at big public events, like nightclubs, concerts, etc. tend to be far more messed up then the men's rooms are.  The higher the income bracket of the women, the worse the room.

Yep, gotta agree with all of this. I've noticed the same thing about the messiness and income level in the women's room. Maybe the higher income women are used to having a maid clean up for them or something. I can't imagine these ladies doing some of this disgusting stuff in their own homes.

I've also worked as a janitor in a few places and the men's room was almost always cleaner than the women's. It seems counterintuitive, but remember that a lot of women try to hover over the toilet seat to avoid germs in public restrooms, so they tend to miss the bowl more than men do.

[tekla]

Maybe the higher income women are used to having a maid clean up for them or something.

'Entitled' springs to mind.

[Inkwe Mupkins]

i havent used the womens ina long time. The last time i went in one i cant remember. But one time all the girls ran out screaming theres a guy in the girls bathroom............................................i was in the mens at an amusement park july 2 and on the corner of the floor was a pair of mens tighty whiteys caked in poo. Oh it was gross and funny at the same time.

[Wolf]

Yep, gotta agree with all of this. I've noticed the same thing about the messiness and income level in the women's room. Maybe the higher income women are used to having a maid clean up for them or something. I can't imagine these ladies doing some of this disgusting stuff in their own homes.

I've also worked as a janitor in a few places and the men's room was almost always cleaner than the women's. It seems counterintuitive, but remember that a lot of women try to hover over the toilet seat to avoid germs in public restrooms, so they tend to miss the bowl more than men do.

Blargh seriously? I know my mum goes as far as putting paper on the seat. But isn't hovering over the seat a vicious cycle of : there is pee on the seat, I will not sit on it. Now there is more pee on the seat.
That's silly. My past experience of ladies toilets, before I came out, was pretty much always clean enough. Usually the more dirty the venue in general the worse the toilet. I don't care how disgusting the men's toilets are ha! I'm always too concerned with going in and getting out and then happy I balled up and did it.

[Mr.Rainey]

Lol when I stp I don't piss on the seat cuz its up. Also in my own house I keep the bowl cleaner because I actually look at it before I aim.

I have yet to use the guy's room outside of a few instances. One I can remember was I was going to a cafe and they had 2 bathrooms in the back 1 for guys, 1 for girls. Seeing as I don't pass that well I opened the girls and turned on the lite to see someone puked on the floor. Me being me I just said whoops wrong bathroom and peed in the guy's.

[Alexy]

Because of the fact that I rarely pass as a guy (maybe 20% of the time ), I go to women's public bathroom. But when there is no one I just rush to men's bathroom. lol. I'm really fortunate that there is a gender-neutral bathroom at my school.