Just me or girls accept us more than boys do?

[Princess of Hearts]

I would say that girls/women are more accepting in general.  However, this must be qualified by saying that natal females can say one thing to your face and quite another behind your back.
They greatly value co-operation, friendship, and they fear being disliked.  So they can accept you to your face and talk about you behind your back at the same time.  The eminent Sociolinguist Deborah Tannen has written that genetic females have a strong desire to be liked and genetic males equally desire status; that is being feared and/or respected.   A man wouldn't care if he was disliked as long as others showed respect towards him.   A woman would never alienate herself from the group to seek power for its own sake, that is unthinkable.

[Princess of Hearts]

Girls (woman) have seemed more accepting, certainly much less personally challenged by my sexual identity than boys (men). The males that have been confronted by my issue have fleetingly discussed it then move on rapidly, and perhaps achieving great distance as soon as possible, taking it as a personal challenge. Females are more communicative,  interested and supportive. I think female socialization does have something to do with it. Some individuals are ... well, individuals.

Susan Kay

Deborah Tannen has said that men will drop a subject if they feel that the subject being mentioned is perhaps too personal.  It is a way of being respectful, they are giving the other person the decision whether to talk about this or not.   Women, writes Tannen make the mistake of thinking that men are not interested in them or their problem when they do this.

[LilKittyCatZoey]

All great opinions girls;D and boys thanks was nice from that side to thanks for voting every body 

[AbraCadabra]

Dear TheAetherealMeadow,
may I congratulate you for a very well formulated precis on this girl/boy (actually more male/female) acceptance issue.
Male/female, because of the socializing that is far from complete when still at boy/girl age.

Thank you for this well thought out post,
Axelle

[Annah]

Not to be sexist but it has been like that for me.....  Maybe you had a different experiences dont feel shy just share and vote to that always helps find out the average belief

i find that both genders can accept you just the same or will not accept you. It all depends on the individual.

[Annah]

That's because guys are more observant.

I have to disagree. Women (usually in their teens to 20s) can clock you while a man have no idea

[Forever21Chic]

      I think girls are more accepting of this issue and to be honest I feel I can be much more open around them then guys. I admit sometimes I feel uneasy being around certain guys, like if he does not like what he is hearing is he going to be violent? kinda scares me sometimes 

[RhinoP]

This is one reason I'm a big stealth person.

Basically, guys are complex. Right away, people assume that guys want nothing to do with gays, trans, creeps, and weirdos because guys are "anti-gay and not confident in their sexuality" but that's really not even anything near the truth. In fact, guys are simply scared of being seen with people who are considered losers. Guys pride themselves on being status symbols, they do not like human beings in general who are weak, nerdy, or unpopular. With that, I've seen many straight guys hang around the most obvious gay guys, even guys who are wearing pink and covered in make-up, as long as a particular group of people find the particular gender bender to be "cool" or "hot". A big factor in this usually seems to be plain out wether the gender bender has a high confidence and wether or not he's pretty darn physically attractive in some sort of somehow-mainstream, media-promoted accepted way that establishes the gender bender as "cool". (ex. Chris Crocker, Jeffree Star, that whole deal.)

Now, that just goes for the men who care about status and who they build their groups on, on the other end of the park bench, you have geeky hometown shy guys who'll literally accept the friendship of anyone who comes their way because hanging out at the public library all day long is just getting to be a drag.

It's really the same concept as an experiment I once did; for those here who have eyes, everyone knows I always talk about suffering from an extreme Acromegaloid facial appearance, and that no matter wether it was in a female role or male role, I always had people constantly bully me and look down upon me as a "freak", "caveman", "uncool", "ugly", or even "stupid", because of the characteristics of my facial condition. It was a universal thing and every single person treated me that way almost as soon as they met me. It never failed, no matter how many new people I tried to meet, no matter how many people I tried to approach. However, I one day decided that I would go out and try to randomly talk to some youths my age like I always try to do, but that this time, I would wear an entertaining mask that covered the problematic areas of my face. I dressed all up and made it look quite endearing.

Not one single person (including a couple people whom I were already close friends with) used a single derogatory tone with me that day. Even the friends who knew me forever seemed to have completely forgotten their rude attitudes toward me and suddenly seemed to see me as a new person, and all the new people I managed to chat with were all smiles and sunshine. Not one negative comment concerning a face that you couldn't see, not one harsh tone, not one whisper of "Ew, c'mon Janet let's go, he looks creepy..."

It was just surprising. People treated me with fellow dignity, like I was actually a human being. And it was because, quite frankly, with a mask on, people imagined that I look like a normal human being without a growth condition of the face, and thus had no negative pre-judgements. And yet with it off, people treat me like crap. And as a control, I truly don't even act different; I'm not really an expressive person either way, I'm just mature and thoughtful. Nothing uncontrolled in the experiment. I wasn't moping and crying with the mask off, and smiling with it on. It was just a truly shocking experiment of mine and why I'm a big supporter of a "If you can't beat em, join em...at least to some extent, and then show who you really are once you make that first good impression." type mentality about life.

[justmeinoz]

I have found acceptance from both men and women, but I voted 'women' because their acceptance has been more openly expressed, even enthusiastic.  That may be because they knew me before transition, and can see that I am happier.
The guys have generally responded with a , "whatever you need to do to be happy is ok" attitude, whereas the women have been more welcoming and shared things a lot more than I expected.

Karen.

[Naturally Blonde]

I don't agree. I've found women to generally be much more observant than men.

Men look at women in a different way, a lustful way sometimes, and they can see if something is not quite right very quickly, like your body shape, the size of your boobs if they are too small or if your butt is too small. Women are less interested, therefore less observant than men. Women are more friendly and will chat about personal things and have no idea I am TS.

[Annah]

Men look at women in a different way, a lustful way sometimes, and they can see if something is not quite right very quickly, like your body shape, the size of your boobs if they are too small or if your butt is too small. Women are less interested, therefore less observant than men. Women are more friendly and will chat about personal things and have no idea I am TS.

body shapes, your boobs and your butt can be made to look feminine through clothing, surgery and prosthetic tho. Younger women have an uncannier sense of seeing through that (unless you have had FFS or transitioned like at 14 lol).

I work at the mall and I never been clocked by a guy. I get clocked about once every three weeks by a girl and its always girls who are latino and in their early 20s. Girls have an amazing trandar device

[LilKittyCatZoey]

body shapes, your boobs and your butt can be made to look feminine through clothing, surgery and prosthetic tho. Younger women have an uncannier sense of seeing through that (unless you have had FFS or transitioned like at 14 lol).

I work at the mall and I never been clocked by a guy. I get clocked about once every three weeks by a girl and its always girls who are latino and in their early 20s. Girls have an amazing trandar device

how can they clock you? you scream womyn not male gosh if they clock you thats scary

[Annah]

how can they clock you? you scream womyn not male gosh if they clock you thats scary

It's something they should air on the next paranormal show lol. I can't explain it personally. It's always a latino girl in her 20s that clocks me. When they do, they don't outright say anything...they just have this weird look like they are really trying to figure me out lol.

My therapist had told me there may be a correlation between girls (cis gendered) who have a poor self image of themselves who can usually clock the the most passable women (even with FFS).

Women in their 30s onwards still have an important view on their self image but it isn't chronic or go to unhealthy means (the majority) compared to girls in their late teens and early 20s. The girls who have a rather obsessive view of their body image is so good at picking out flaws and details in themselves, that they can do it in no time with even the most passable trans.

What my therapist said made a lotta sense. I cannot scientifically validate it, but my experiences with the girls certainly validates my therapist's belief.

[Naturally Blonde]

body shapes, your boobs and your butt can be made to look feminine through clothing, surgery and prosthetic tho. Younger women have an uncannier sense of seeing through that (unless you have had FFS or transitioned like at 14 lol).

I work at the mall and I never been clocked by a guy. I get clocked about once every three weeks by a girl and its always girls who are latino and in their early 20s. Girls have an amazing trandar device

I've rarely been clocked by guys but many TS's do get clocked. I'm not sure why I don't, possibly because I have small features? and I've been transitioning for over 12 years and started taking birth control pills long before that. I'm quite comfortable with myself and dress very casually and rarely wear make up. Younger girls never seem to read me or ever take any notice of me.

[Tyler]

Women sense things other's can't, but I think A LOT of it has to do with Body Language.

[Princess of Hearts]

Women sense things other's can't, but I think A LOT of it has to do with Body Language.

It might also have to do with hand and feet size?    I saw a programme about Princess Diana's wedding dress and they showed her ballet flats which were a British size 10(American size 11).   Diana had big feet, but her feet conformed to the very narrow foot typical of genetic women.   Genetic males have a broad foot.

[Tyler]

It could have something to do with body proportions, but I tend to think that it has more to do with the way people move around and act. Some transgirls seem to still use the male mentality, speaking down to women in certain tones and such. I think women pick up on that.

[Susan Kay]

Perhaps some are disposed to "clock" others as different, so may clock a lot of females because of deciding they have large feet or hands, not real feminine appearing facial features, a lower range voice, being tall, or any other percieved clue. And perhaps they are wrong more often then they are right.

Others are not disposed to clock others as trans. Without bragging about my non judgemental nature, I do not think I ever clocked another trans person, until I attended my first support group meeting. I am the type of person that has never been too worried other people fitting my conception of what it takes to be human.

A blank look back at them in response to clocking attitudes is a good defense - most cis-woman don't very quickly pick up on being clocked.

Susan Kay

[MarinaM]

I have gained four awesome new girlfriends, and every one of my male friends stuck around. Equal acceptance.

New people are either oblivious or don't care. I only really get to socialize with other parents and scientists though, and I spend most of my spare time around the playground chasing my insane baby.

Edit: The language of your poll seems to suggest that I choose neither, as neither one is more accepting than the other. (Of course, I'm not huge on grammar anyway, and I may be wrong)

[Sunnynight]

Within my family, I think women have been slightly more accepting, although I have some super awesome uncles that reached out to me when my father decided he wanted not much to do with me.

At my school, I feel like there's been more girls that have an approachable attitude toward me and my being trans, but then I found out that a male student I didn't even know that well stood up for me behind my back (made me think he was the coolest guy ever when I found out). And the nastiest, most blatantly rude transphobic person I've encountered so far was a female instructor.

I'd say there's a lot more than just sex in deciding whether a person will be accepting. Being open-minded is probably way more important.