Does transition end?

[Susan Kay]

So, what signifies the end of transition? Is there an end? of course there are different transition points for different transitioners. I count SRS as the transition from transgendered to woman, so May 31, 2011 is my transition point. I also said you are not finished until the paperwork is done.

Today,  Wednesday, July 27 2011, the paperwork is done! I picked up my court decree of Legal Name Change from the courthouse, went to Social Security and changed my name and gender on their records and ordered a new card, I then went to the Motor Vehicle Department and changed my name on my license and got a new photo AND got a Female gender marker on the license, and I changed my voter registration - now to vote some of these anti-democratic clowns out of office; please join me!

Of course there are still name change notifications to be made, but all primary identification is now accurate.

There was absolutely no trouble anywhere, though the DL people had to confer a bit - I'm sure about the gender change, but I was not questioned once and they did it. One fine day to top off a hell of a year! 

Could I have done it without my therapist?  Perhaps.  But I didn't until I got one did I?  Now I did, and I have.
And now I really am -

Susan Kay G.  (at last, finally and completely!)

[wendy]

Actually Transition can last a lifetime.  Some people argue with themselves for decades to no resolve.  Others "transition" and get on with life.  I like Valerie's comments in that we can explore new things.

One friend told me today that we live life and transition while we live life as opposed to trying to transition before we live life.

After you transition you are a woman and do need to get on with life.  Maybe it is a letdown?   

[Annah]

it really is dependent on each individual person and there is no right and wrong answer to this question unless you impose your answer onto other people.

For example, I consider myself done with transitioning. I have a friend who says she will be transitioning until the day she dies.

Either is acceptable and warranted.

[Re: Joyce]

Susan, my transition is over.  I'm 4.5 months post-op and all my papers show I'm legally me.  I've been living as me for a year and a half and I'm very comfortable to be me.

     I particularly enjoy being cured of GID.  I never have any more bad thoughts like I used to.  I can finally just sit and think of nothing if I want.  I can take a walk and think of normal things, like normal people.  I am just another woman in the world.  My transition is done.

      I do still have a lot to learn about how to be a better woman and I expect I'll be learning and getting socialized as female for many years to come.  I'll make that distinction now.  Some say this is part of transitioning, I don't think so.

      Interesting topic, should bring some interesting discussion.

[paulault55]

After surgery i consider the physical part of transitioning over, however i feel transitioning into society and being accepted as an equal by other women is really just beginning and could take many years if ever, in many respects even before surgery i  had a start transitioning into society, this will continue, relationships i only had one being pre-op,  an FtM, we understood each other, in a few months after i am healed more i will be ready to start looking again, no telling how long it will take till i am able to find someone and feel comfortable.

Paula

[Ann Onymous]

For me, the answer was a definitive YES.  And it ended with the surgery mumble-something years ago. 

As far as socializing went, I had actually been a regular in the lesbian community since before I finished high school, so a lot of people I knew in Houston never actually KNEW my background.  Within the workplace, I had few issues since I promoted and moved to a different part of the State not long after surgery, so again, I escaped having to spend time around people that knew my past. 

Of course, all things considered, I have had more than half of my life that this stuff has been getting in order...if I was someone who had just recently had surgery, my answer might have been different. 

[LordKAT]

I say yes, it ends when you feel you have arrived. That point may differ for some, but for many mtf, it seems to be SRS or soon after.

[Lisbeth]

I have been in transition for more than ten years. I don't see an end in sight.

[LordKAT]

Me neither as I have not the funds to get done what I need. I still feel there is an end, just out of my reach.

[juliemac]

I dont think we or any one else does actually.
Each day we live gives us a chance to perfect ourselves. I'll do better tomorrow than I did yesterday.
Every one has hurdles, humps and their ups and downs, irregardless of gender or orientation.
Some people have a harder time in life than me for example. I just had GID as one of many things I had to learn to deal with.

My brother had demons that in the end killed him. So we are not that special, maybe a bit weird, but thats just fun 

[Lisbeth]

I dont think we or any one else does actually.
Each day we live gives us a chance to perfect ourselves. I'll do better tomorrow than I did yesterday.
Every one has hurdles, humps and their ups and downs, irregardless of gender or orientation.
Some people have a harder time in life than me for example. I just had GID as one of many things I had to learn to deal with.

My brother had demons that in the end killed him. So we are not that special, maybe a bit weird, but thats just fun 

To stop growing is to start dying.

[Ann Onymous]

To stop growing is to start dying.

the end of a transitional period for the person who has a transsexual condition is NOT the same as the cessation of personal growth...

[AubreyRenee]

I've been dealing with this question too. My answer falls along the lines of solution-based thinking: I had an issue that needed attended, and now that it's finished I can get on with having a productive, meaningful life. I didn't consciously decide that my transition was "finished," per se, so much as I just woke up one day and realized that I was no longer considering myself in transition. Any further changes that happen to me can be attributed to more standard things like aging or working out or genetics taking their toll.

(This was about the same time I started wondering how those menfolk stand themselves, and how they deal with having a garden hose in their pants all the time, etc. etc. -- there was this powerful shift from "I'm trying to be a woman" to "I am a woman" and there was no way for me to stop it.)

[regan]

I have been in transition for more than ten years. I don't see an end in sight.

To that end, I've thought recently about getting a tattoo of the infinity symbol (no, not the car), becuase that's been my thinking as of late.  We're always "transitioning".

[wendy]

I love logic and statistics.  My opinions have changed over time from input of others and my own experiences.  I have told my therapists that I am not transitioning but rather coping.  Now I am totally unproductive and searching for more coping mechanisms.

Readings suggest that it takes two years after surgeries to integrate into society and finish what we consider transitioning.  Many can not totally integrate and never consider themselves fully transitioned.

One personal friend in her sixties told me she finally felt normal after getting GRS in her sixties.  Her "transition" was over.

We also use transitioning when referring to a job change or marital change, etc.  Technically we are always transitioning into something to live life.  However transitioning with respect to gender is very unique to each of us.  I think having others accept us and see us as we feel about ourselves is very important to have "transitioned". With modest efforts to contrary I still get referred to as "sir"; however, I do not get people laughing "at" me. 

I do agree that transitioning should be a part of your life as opposed to becoming your life.  TS is very illogical in my mind and we are all unique so that even transitioning is unique.

[Annah]

I dont think we or any one else does actually.
Each day we live gives us a chance to perfect ourselves. I'll do better tomorrow than I did yesterday.

For me I do not equate that with transitioning. I would relate that to healthy non gender related human development. For me, transition is the period of time in which you transition to your chosen gender.

For some it is a lifetime. For others, they feel that they have finished it.

[Debra]

Transition is like a label. It's merely a word that different people define with different meanings.

If it's over for you then great! If it's not then great! =)

Matter, it does not.

That being said, I had my surgery in March 2011 but I cannot get my birth cert changed yet because of a hangup between WA state and CA state courts. It's a bit of an annoyance.

[jade]

SRS is not the end of transition, for a while you feel complete and high off the surgery you had and you are thrilled,

however gender dysphoria turns into body dysmorphia post-op where you start picking at things to correct and want constant improvement in order to be the best you can become.

That's my personal opinion.

I guess this applies more to those who live in stealth.

[Ann Onymous]

SRS is not the end of transition, for a while you feel complete and high off the surgery you had and you are thrilled,

however gender dysphoria turns into body dysmorphia post-op where you start picking at things to correct and want constant improvement in order to be the best you can become.

That's my personal opinion.

I guess this applies more to those who live in stealth.

Body image issues are not unique to post-ops though...MANY women have flaws that they either obsess about or take steps to have corrected.  Sometimes it is just an extra 10 pounds that they want to lose while other times it may be something that they don't like and choose to have plastic surgery to correct. 

[annette]

I started transition more than 30 years ago, had srs in the early 80ties.
So, you could say it's done by now.
Most of the time it's done, I do pass, never have had any comments, had some relationships and at my work I'm one of the girls, so, everything good so far.
But.....I do have the past of a TG.
I'm single right now, suppose I fall in love with someone.......I feel I have to tell one day, don't I?
For me it doesn't matter that I pass and have build on a female life for a long time.
It's still haunting me in certain situations.
So, I think I never get rid of transition.
The good news is that it didn't never give any problems when I told a new lover about my past but I don't like to do it.
But in daily life, it's no problem at all.
So, we can enjoy life in the gender we were supposed to be .

Hugs
Annette