Spouse wishes to die & her pain is KILLING ME!!!!!!!

[Jillieann Rose]

Q Queen,
She has know for about 5 years but because of all the pain but because of all the pain and the negative reactions from my family I backed down for 3 years. She knows I am now moving forward  bit is not happy about it.
Thank you and I hope all goes well with you and your spouse.
I am no longer backing down but moving forward.
And will continue too no-matter what happens. Although if I lose her I will feel I have lost everything.
I hope a little of what I have shared with you will help.
You are a loving, brave, and faithful spouse hon.
Hang in there.
Hugs,
Jillieann

[chloe23]

Sorry to hear that Jillieann, I wish you the best of luck on your transition. I know you will be a much happier person in the end, but nobody hates to lose a spouse. I would hate losing my wife.

Chloe

[qUiRkY qUeEn]

Now do a soul search and see if you really are 100% and be honest. If there is even 1% that is unhappy, you need to acknowledge that part of you and give it the respect it deserves because if you do not.....it will grow into a monster and consume your relationship.

This is defiantly great advice and I will remember this. I do not want any monsters in our relationship LOL Thank you... Until next time....

[Jillieann Rose]

Thanks Cloe.
But let remember this is Q Queen's thread and she need encouragement and any help we can give her.

Q Queen I hope all is going better today.
Hopefully your spouses feels better about herself.
Hugs
Jillieann

[ALX]

My spouse feels that if she died ALL the pain she is causing for everyone will then go away. No worries. She will not actually kill herself. She had a MRI on her brain just so her family can stop blaming a tumor or cancer on her being transgendered. She feels that she is breaking ALL of my dreams.. Guess what? SHE TOTALLY IS NOT DOING THAT!!! Okay so I terminated a pregnancy due to her beginning transition, we froze her sperm, right now the furthest thought is to have a child right now ( Totally understand) we might want to adopt down the road, I do not know if having a child is in my dreams. She feels that she is BREAKING ALL OF MY DREAMS AND SHE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO KEEP ME HAPPY. Is this normal? Will this pain she wants to put on herself go away? Is are marriage completely doomed for unhappiness? I NEED ANSWERS.... I love her unconditionally. I am happy with the direction she needs to go in her transition. I WISH SHE WOULD NOT FEEL LIKE SHE NEEDS TO LEAVE THIS EARTH SO SHE WILL NOT CAUSE PAIN TO ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Will she ALWAYS BE THIS WAY?? She reads alot of spiritual books and is for the most part positive. We are seeing a therapist too. SO MUCH PAIN SHE IS FEELING AND THAT IS THE HARDEST PART FOR ME TO FEEL IS THAT!!!! My only problem with this "new journey" is her true pain right now......... 100% True Supporter!!!!

It's a lot comming at anyone..
It sounds to me she could use more help than she's getting emotionally,
and maybe you feel you could use some support too? for one terminating a pregnancy is no small matter..
It's hard sometimes to allow the people we love to make their own choices, and realize that what we feel is sometimes really only our point of view. It's like walking down the street in two different colored socks, we think everyone must be noticing, but people probably really aren't.
Just our point of view. She seems to feel like she knows how you feel, but you're not so she's probably hyper self conscious right now.
I know I can be my own worst critic, but she needs someone who can help her put her feet back on the ground..
It's not a bad thing to get help when you need some, and anyone needs some from time to time. Be it a down to earth friend, or professional..
It's a sign of strenght, people who are weak don't ask for help.. they hide from their problems rather than facing them.

[Asfsd4214]

My spouse feels that if she died ALL the pain she is causing for everyone will then go away. No worries. She will not actually kill herself. She had a MRI on her brain just so her family can stop blaming a tumor or cancer on her being transgendered. She feels that she is breaking ALL of my dreams.. Guess what? SHE TOTALLY IS NOT DOING THAT!!! Okay so I terminated a pregnancy due to her beginning transition, we froze her sperm, right now the furthest thought is to have a child right now ( Totally understand) we might want to adopt down the road, I do not know if having a child is in my dreams. She feels that she is BREAKING ALL OF MY DREAMS AND SHE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO KEEP ME HAPPY. Is this normal? Will this pain she wants to put on herself go away? Is are marriage completely doomed for unhappiness? I NEED ANSWERS.... I love her unconditionally. I am happy with the direction she needs to go in her transition. I WISH SHE WOULD NOT FEEL LIKE SHE NEEDS TO LEAVE THIS EARTH SO SHE WILL NOT CAUSE PAIN TO ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Will she ALWAYS BE THIS WAY?? She reads alot of spiritual books and is for the most part positive. We are seeing a therapist too. SO MUCH PAIN SHE IS FEELING AND THAT IS THE HARDEST PART FOR ME TO FEEL IS THAT!!!! My only problem with this "new journey" is her true pain right now......... 100% True Supporter!!!!

First of all, you deserve a lot of praise, you sound very supportive to me, and your spouse is very lucky to have you.

To your spouse on any form of antidepressants or other medications? They can be hit and miss, but when they work they work. And it sounds like what she's experiencing is depression. Doesn't mean the factors involved in her depression, her family, her transition, aren't valid. But medication can help make dealing easier.

Sometimes it's the only thing that works.