Orgasm, what's an orgasm?

[Susan Kay]

Alright, that's overwrought and shows great impatience, and afterall, I well remember what one was like. Messy, sticky and momentary. But how long after surgery should it take for the orgasms to start? It's been a bit over eight weeks since surgery for me and I've been trying for a couple of weeks during dilation using a buzzing momma's helper. I am still somewhat numb in the area around the cltoris, so I guess I'm not surprised - just more then ready to get that part of the proceedings moving ahead. 

Just now, thinking about it, while I am somewhat impatient for results, I remember as a male how penile-centered the experience was. I have some good feelings (all over down there, not concentrated in one organ like before), but I definitely await the hopefully not far off sparklers and fireworks.

Is it time to dilate again? No? Drat!

Susan Kay

[AbraCadabra]

Susan,
you are answering my question --- by posing your question.

Even with boy-parts I have more prolonged 'dormant" periods that before HRT, not a question.

Yet when it happens it usually can get quite explosive, not ALWAYS though.

Having had some stimulation with "mommas helper" as you called it, did only make me feel good but got boring after a while. Oh hell.

Are we still too male-like-goal-oriented? It is a known fact that old habits die slow...

That would mean having to learn new habits --- I guess so, or?

I can only hope if same will happen to me, that all penned up sex-energy will show the way through the "valleys and over the mountains".
And then something (I guess/hope) just have to GIVE --- FGS :-)

Now handing (:-) over to the experts in this here theatre,
Axelle

[Padma]

Nerves take a while to heal when they've been pushed around. Be patient. Oh, and take a (safely) high dose of Vitamin E for a month or two (but no longer), as this promotes nerve healing. I suffered damage to the nerves in my hands, and taking vitamin E brought back feeling quite quickly when nothing else was helping. It's most effective when taken after food with oiliness (like fried food or salad dressing, or even just a spoonful of good oil), as the body absorbs more of it that way.

Meanwhile, have fun playing around - the orgasm may be the icing on the cake, but the cake is bloody good on its own sometimes .

[Susan Kay]

Are we still too male-like-goal-oriented? It is a known fact that old habits die slow...
That would mean having to learn new habits --- I guess so, or?

Probably very true. As a male I can count on both hands (when they're not busy  ) the number of times I failed to launch, and it was very distressing. Females have more so accepted that she may climax - she may not - it's not such a big deal. And I think I have somewhat adapted that attitude. As in transition, the journey is half the fun - now that it's over! The big O is a reward, not a goal. Keep telling yourself that, self! 

Susan Kay

[Devlyn]

It will come......

[AbraCadabra]

As a male functioning, if "you get stuck" for lack of a better word it is frustrating --- YEEEEEES!

As a girl, hum... maybe it was nice of sorts anyways, so let's move on.

I have had experiences that left me feeling just fine by not "getting there" and then I had some others that my whole body was getting really involved --- hey, hey, hey!

And lastly, we still have that "quicky" wham bang thank you ma'am.

I think all this variety is girl territory, the latter mostly male, or?

And not to forget, if now we do not have our .... warm-up session (foreplay) not much is doing hon. At least IME.

Easier to make the male horny than the female IMHO. But if, then....! Ummm! :-)

Axelle

[Debra]

It really varies person to person. I know girls that have had orgasms a month after surgery.

I , myself, have only experienced "almost" orgasms so far and I'm 4+ months post-op now. Mind you I had a lot of extra healing and such ...that coupled with the fact that even before surgery, it was hard for me to orgasm on my own (partners are better!) =)

[Dinky_Di]

Relax and stop being concerned about reaching orgasm, it will never happen if you are so concerned and anxious about reaching this state.  Reaching climax isn't all about the physical touchy feeling, there is also the state of mind you are in.  Clear your mind, relax and just let things happen,  good things come to those who wait.

It will happen, you just need to learn how.  It is all very different to what you were probably used to.

Good luck.

[AbraCadabra]

Dinky, such a good, wise girl... exposure to that South-East, eh.
Axelle

[juliemac]

I was afraid I'd never have one due to the lack of a C. But like life, weeird things happen.
About the 8 month mark I decided to try a bullet. (look it up).
A few minutes later, legs shaking, WOW....

It scared me a bit actually. Girls, your built differently than you were. The old techniques just will not work. Just relax, take a deep breath and explore your self.

And the reason some girls cant? Their partners are klutzes for the most part.

[Dinky_Di]

Girls, your built differently than you were. The old techniques just will not work. Just relax, take a deep breath and explore your self.

Exactly, explore yourself.  These are the words I was told after surgery.  Nerves are in different places so lay back and explore yourself, feel and find out where things are and what areas feel nice to the touch.  I was also told that by doing this it would help the nerves to 'remap' themselves to your new body but I don't know how true this is.

[Padma]

Being told to masturbate "for medicinal purposes" FTW .

[AbraCadabra]

I must of been some 'medicine-man' in my former life, oh my!
->-bleeped-<-e... :-) Lost paradise?
Axelle

[Melody Maia]

A friend of mine saw Dr. McGinn recently and she told her that before SRS it is a good idea to start touching the head of the penis as if it were a clitoris when masturbating. More of a rubbing with your fingers than the up-down stroking we did before. She said it was a good way to get your body more used to what you would have after SRS and could make having an orgasm later easier to obtain. So there you go, medically advised masturbating  I've tried it and gotten good feelings are you are saying, but it just won't quite put me over the edge. Usually I succumb to the temptation to go the old way. The resulting orgasm is great and much better than before, but I know something better is on the horizon.

[AbraCadabra]

Melody,
yeahhh, I know what you say and it also applies for me.
I got this going to "circular" motion all on my own.
Good to know I was only following doctors orders! :-)

Yet as you experience(d) it, not going "over the edge" either. I just feels good.
ALSO, if after some time that "dangle" gets semi-errect it puts things out of order --- and so we go back to our old fashioned ways, eh.

"Kommt Zeit, kommt Rat" as the saying goes.
But other doctor's orders are also: not to go dormant and ignore your dangle completely (pre-op), lest your body forgets there was something more often the Xmas, heehee.

Axelle

[FairyGirl]

So, in the beginning, God came to Adam and Eve and said, "I have two special gifts to give, one for each of you. Who wants to be first?"

Adam, being the man, was like, "Me! Me! I wanna be first! give the first one to me!!"

So God said to Adam, "Okay, you get the first gift: You get to pee standing up."

Adam was like, "Yay! I get to pee standing up! What a great gift!"

Then God says to Eve, "I guess that means you get the multiple orgasms."


I had my first after surgery at 8 weeks.  It was another 6 months or so until the next one.  The triggers are just different now, and it is certainly for me an all-body experience.  The other night my boyfriend was rubbing me down there, very vigorously, and I must have had like 5 or 6 in a row- and then there were the aftershocks.  I was shaking all over.  It is definitely waaaaay more intense for me now than it ever was before surgery.

That said, it also just isn't that important to me anymore.  Sure it feels nice, but I actually get much more pleasure from pleasing my partner, from giving myself to him completely, from knowing that my body is able to give him pleasure.  Surgery brings a whole lot of changes and since it's our sex organs being operated on, naturally we should expect that surgery will change pretty much everything to do with sex, including how we orgasm.

[AbraCadabra]

FairyGirl,
what an insightful post in deed, just kind of lost my speech over that.

Thanks, time to have a hot bath... IMG :-)
Axelle

[Susan Kay]

I'm beginning to think what we all need is a cold shower!   

Susan Kay

[juliekins]

It took me about 4-5 months of trying before it became "routinely possible".

For the first 4-8 weeks, I didn't want to go exploring at all. I was just waiting around for things to heal up first.

[Nicole]

I've got some tips that I think should help.

First, don't just "go for it", sadly us females are wired that we can't just orgasm because we're bored. We need to get in the mood, something has to trigger the juices (so to speak).
for me, anything can set me off, a hot guy or girl, a song playing on the radio that reminds me of a night/time with someone, porn, a touch, a feeling, the right food, it could be anything and it comes on very quickly, but very unlike pre-hrt/grs where is I don't have to do something about it.

When you're starting, don't just go for the clit, build and work your way up into it, try new things. The shower head pretty much ALWAYS works, where as a vibe and be hit and miss because its too much sometimes.

find what works for you, music, anything could work if you spend the time getting to know yourself. every female has to learn what works for them, my best friend (cis-female) only started masturbating a few years ago after she told us that she never had an orgasm. She got to learn her body and she now tells us that its every time she has sex she orgasms.

The overall keys are, don't rush it, get to know your body and get yourself in the right mood.

Nicole