Quote from: Forum Admin on July 29, 2011, 11:18:06 AM
I think this is something that can kind of throw us off at first as ftms because a lot of us are used to being more comfortable with guys. But the interactions do change a bit once you're actually seen as male. Guys seem both more friendly and more guarded when you first meet them. But then, people just act differently in general. Girls are both nicer and more guarded now as well.
Yeah, it's the complete opposite of my experience - I always felt alien among women, but took to male bonding like a fish to water.
That said, here's Male Bonding 101:
1. Humor.
a) Make fun of them. Seriously. Say stuff that would be downright mean if you said it to a girl. Then laugh. It's expected.
b) Make fun of yourself. Play along with the stuff they say to you. Make fun of the stuff about yourself that you're insecure about. That's how they get to know you.
c) Tell jokes and funny stories. Preferably in moderately bad taste, but not too offensive (definitely avoid anything that smells of racism, and anything else that bothers your personal conscience).
2. Doing stuff.
a) Find your common interests by periodically mentioning that you're doing something you like to do on the weekend/after work (whether or not you actually plan to do it). When you find someone who likes doing the same stuff, talk about it with them, and eventually see if they want to join you to do it together.
b) Break rules together. Every workplace has a bunch of silly rules that don't really matter. Bond over shared illicit behaviour, preferably totally harmless stuff.
c) Help each other get the tedious/unpleasant parts of your job done faster. Break up the monotony with humour and/or talking about doing other stuff and/or venting.
3. Having each other's back.
a) When you see them treated unfairly by management/another employee, call it out publicly. When a customer is rude to them, let them know you noticed and you think the person is an ->-bleeped-<-.
b) When they need something (have to go care for a sick parent/kid, stayed up too late and have a hangover, whatever) cover for them. Then the next time you need something, ask them to do the same for you.
c) Listen to them vent when they're pissed off. You don't have to say a whole lot, but take their side. Try to come up with ways to solve their problem; if you can't, come up with some vaguely aggressive/violent description of what you'd like to do to the person causing the problem.
d) Vent when you're pissed off. Accept whatever clumsily-expressed sympathy/advice is provided. Don't expect the warm fuzzy supportiveness you get from girls.
