For me, looking at the goal and seeing everything that still needs to be done before my transition will be complete makes me just want to die, whereas making sure to find something wonderful about each day as I move toward that goal and being at peace with where I am in the process has brought me so much happiness. Maybe my way doesn't work for everybody, maybe it only works for me, but I would be absolutely miserable if I spent too much time thinking about everything that is still wrong all the time. The key for me is that I'm still making significant progress all the time. I would be a wreck if i ever stagnated.
Hannah, sometimes the source of dysphoria can simply be our perspective, but often, especially early in the process, all the mental gymnastics in the world will not get rid of it. Maybe that is where you are now. I think that is totally a normal step in the process. I know that there was nothing I could do to stem the delression and despair I felt until enough things came together with my appearance, my inner state, my hormonal composition and how I was connecting with society. Just too many dysphoria triggers going off all the time. While I was stuck in the process of eliminating enough triggers that happiness was even an option, all I could do was find an escape. I don't know if that was the most productive approach or not, but it was the only way I made it through that stage.
There are many ways to escape, they have those MMO games now where you can actually not only practice socializing as a woman, but you even make rudimentary emotional connections with people in your right role. That can give you some relief for sure. Just be careful about addiction with those games because they really can and do ruin lives, and getting too swept up can slow down your real world transition. For that reason I almost hesitate bringing it up, to be honest.
