Zoe, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone with your feelings & life. Mine has been almost identical, one wife long ago, I was more feminine. Our absolute need to be with a real man to satisfy him but only as a natural woman, etc. Body appearances not as feminine as we need or want, I know it all, just like you.
But just try & relax, you will become a beautiful woman in time. It takes a long time for a young girl to develop during puberty, you & I are no different. It's OK to cry some & let go but you will be OK in time.
Your older girl friend down south thinking about you,
Francis Ann