the term;

[katia]

preop transexual;

Pre-op means "pre-operative transsexual," someone who has begun the hormonal and surgical procedures and is very close to the operation.

what about those who haven't begun the hormonal and surgical procedures? are they still preop transexuals?  do you have to be in treatment to be [transexual]? opinions?

[Lucy]

Katia I have been asking the same question. I am sure that is it. I am new to all this so have been podering about labels. I have Labels but what am I. A very confused man who thinks he should have been a woman. I havent started HRT and dont know if Im going to. So am I a transexual? I dont know.

[cindianna_jones]

Yea... if you think you're going to go through with it all.. consider yourself in.

Cindi

[Lucy]

but the point here Cindy is I dont know if I am going to go through with it. I havent decided yes. Got to go and get some help.

[Steph]

but the point here Cindy is I dont know if I am going to go through with it. I havent decided yes. Got to go and get some help.

If you are TS then you won't have a choice

Steph

[Lucy]

If you are TS then you won't have a choice

I am sure I am TS I am trying to get to see a theropist to help me out there. my problem is Im married and my familiy wouldn't understand.
I may just live my life out in this body (Some How). I just dont want to hurt anyone aspeshily my wife. Im just to frightened to look at that right now. One step at a time..

TY Lucy

[taru]

Self-identifying as transsexual and getting a diagnose from a doctor saying that one is transsexual are two different things.

Knowing what one is and what one wants to do about it are important - but there is no hurry. The diagnose is needed for getting medical treatment - but the details vary from country to country. Finding a good therapist is important and can help to clear things out.

There is the choice of living as one's true self or not - but running away from it, drugs or suicide didn't sound like tempting alternatives.

[Lucy]

There is the choice of living as one's true self or not - but running away from it, drugs or suicide didn't sound like tempting alternatives.

Taru

I know exactly what you are saying, this last 15 years has been a very long and hard road to stay on. Do you not think in my early years I didn't concider ending it all. I have moments every now and then when it does cross my mind. But let me tell you I am much stronger now and theropy is the way forward for me. Im not hiding from anything, I just want to do what is best for me and my wife.

I've been hiding away YES and Running in a fashion thats why I came to susan's place. I've been reading the posts here for 12 months + and decided to throw my self in and get help. YOU KNOW WHAT. Comming here has been the best thing I ever did, being able to talk to someone has really helped and lifed my mood. What a great place this truley is.

A Life Saver

[Buffy]

Hmmm...

I think for any kind of condition, we will all read books, the internet and convince ourselves we have this condition or this illness. Self diagnosis is perhaps a step on the road, but until an official disgnosis is made I guess, you can not be classed as anything

Once you have that diagnosis as a Transsexual (after the absence of all other possible causes), I guess you then start treatment, hormones in the main. Electrolysis, voice therapy etc..at this stage I would consider this to be pre-op, a diagnosis followed by hormone therapy... followed by RLE and then surgery.

I knew I was different, suspected I was TS, but denied that for fully 20 odd years, because the consequenses at times where to frighteneing to even contemplate.

So to keep on topic I guess , I was a potential TS, in denial without a diagnosis... Hmmmm

[Lucy]

So to keep on topic I guess , I was a potential TS, in denial without a diagnosis... Hmmmm

OK thats it then. All over... I agree whole heartedly. that must be me.

Doesn't really take the pain away does it.

shame..

Katia
Your question has been solved.
So Im protenshally TS but with out a diagnosis We can't be sure.

But wasn't the original question.

So using my self as the example.
If I was diagnosed but dont take hormones or go for surgery what am I then.

[Nikki_W]

Personal opinion your not transsexual unless you change your "sex". If you are in the process of making that change you are a pre-op transsexual. If you aren't in the process but plan on that destination your a pre-transsexual <insert your "gender">

However in all stages you are a <insert your "gender"> and transsexual merely describes the medical treatment(not the person) to make your sex match your gender.

[TheBattler]

So to keep on topic I guess , I was a potential TS, in denial without a diagnosis... Hmmmm

OK thats it then. All over... I agree whole heartedly. that must be me.

Doesn't really take the pain away does it.

shame..

Katia
Your question has been solved.
So Im protenshally TS but with out a diagnosis We can't be sure.

But wasn't the original question.

So using my self as the example.
If I was diagnosed but dont take hormones or go for surgery what am I then.

Lucy,

As I have said before - take your time and do not worry about labels. If you where diagnosed but do not do any changes that is great. Many people say do not go onto HRT ETC unless you really need to do it. I have been thinking alot about my situation and I know I will be looking at all the alternatives before decided to change. You are about to start threapy and have a great marriage - do not go onto HRT ETC unless you really need to and are convinced there are no alternatives.

You are yourself - do not worry about what other people have done in the past - know it is an alternative but worry about what is best for you.
Alice

[Lucy]

Alice.
I thank you for that last comment because most people keep saying if you are TS you know what you will have to do. Well, I dont beleive that hrt is the only way. Yes I have my moments where the pain and lonlyness become unbearable but It passes. Thats what borght me here in the first place. I had hit rock bottom and just didn't know what to do. I have a new lease of life not and feel quite confident inmyself again. OK so I might be TS, undiognosed, but I feel as if I am. The issue remains that if I can learn to just deal with it I will. Nodoght I will be back in a couple of months screeming again. Lets see what the docter has to say first and move on from there.

[Steph]

I have to ask myself... Does all this really matter.  A transsexual is a transsexual, does it matter that they are pre-op, pre-transition, pre-hrt, pre-rle.  It's almost as though there are some who think this is some form of rating system.  A transsexual will transition and that's all that counts.  During their journey a TS could expect to be pre something along the way couldn't they.

Steph

[TheBattler]

Thats a great attitude Lucy. There is a process that we all go through when we come out of denile and where we end up depends upon many things. Sure many people decide they are TS and go through HRT etc but there are other alternative ie just dressing to express your feminine side.

I know it is scary - I am going through that process myself.

Alice

I have to ask myself... Does all this really matter.  A transsexual is a transsexual, does it matter that they are pre-op, pre-transition, pre-hrt, pre-rle.  It's almost as though there are some who think this is some form of rating system.  A transsexual will transition and that's all that counts.   During their journey a TS could expect to be pre something along the way couldn't they.

Steph

I now officialy hate that steph. I have been called a TS person by a few people and my actions indicated that I have fooled myself for so many year. Someone in depression ETC definatly needs help - I know about the mood swings and suicidal thoughts that come with it - it is truly a scarly experience looking at your life and wondering why you need to change.

But for someone new who is trying to sort out their feelings asking them if they are TS and then saying you need to transiston is just to much. Heck - it is hard enough  for me and I have been here for months. Just give people the time they need to come to their own conclusion.

Alice

*edit Spelling

[Lucy]

Sure many people decide they are TS and go through HRT etc but there are other alternative ie just dressing to express your feminine side.

I know it is scary - I am going through that process myself.

Alice

I know this may sound crazy, or not, I have read many stange and wonderfull things in here. Although I see my self as female (TS). I want to be able to live my life our as one or the other. I have found ways of boosting my mascaline side, but it involves staying very very busy at work and the gym. When I put my guard down for any lenth of time im back to me (just Lucy). I will either have to live my life out as him or her, I dont want to have to switch back and forth or dress to express.

I just want a normal life doing normal things without the torment of gender issues.

[TheBattler]

Sure many people decide they are TS and go through HRT etc but there are other alternative ie just dressing to express your feminine side.

I know it is scary - I am going through that process myself.

Alice

I know this may sound crazy, or not, I have read many stange and wonderfull things in here. Although I see my self as female (TS). I want to be able to live my life our as one or the other. I have found ways of boosting my mascaline side, but it involves staying very very busy at work and the gym. When I put my guard down for any lenth of time im back to me (just Lucy). I will either have to live my life out as him or her, I dont want to have to switch back and forth or dress to express.

I just want a normal life doing normal things without the torment of gender issues.

Yeap - That is or I want - what everyone wants - I can very much relate to what you just said. The question is how do we get there - I am sure the answer is different for all of us.

Alice

[tinkerbell]

LOL..OMG....are you trying to get me in trouble again?   Pre-op means pre-op, post-op means post-op, fulltime means fulltime, and you know what means you know what! ....what is soooooo difficult to understand?  LOL  ...just kidding!

I concur with what Buffy has said:

Self diagnosis is perhaps a step on the road, but until an official diagnosis is made I guess, you can not be classed as anything.
Once you have that diagnosis as a Transsexual (after the absence of all other possible causes), I guess you then start treatment, hormones in the main. Electrolysis, voice therapy etc..at this stage I would consider this to be pre-op, a diagnosis followed by hormone therapy... followed by RLE and then surgery.

...and...

A transsexual will transition and that's all that counts

Yes indeed!  a transsexual will transition.  However some people may be diagnosed with other conditions which do not meet the criteria for transsexualism according to the DSM.  See this link.  or DSM-IV.


tinkerbell

[cindianna_jones]

Lucy,

Get a therapist and talk it over.  If there is any way you can keep yourself from transitioning, then I heartily suggest that you follow that path.  I really do.  You have strong bindings to a marraige and family.  Unless you can break those, you should not proceed.... you shouldn't even think about it.  Ultimately, your family and spouse may come along... but unless you can give them up, don't start. For chances are very good that you will lose them in the process.

Many of us could not do that.  This thing pushed us. There was no way to deny it. That's why Steph always says that "transsexuals WILL transition".  It's like starting a big truck rolling down a hill.  You can put yourself in front of it to attempt to stop it, but it continues to roll.

Don't worry about what to call yourself.  You don't need a label.

Chin up!

Cindi

[Steph]

Thats a great attitude Lucy. There is a process that we all go through when we come out of denile and where we end up depends upon many things. Sure many people decide they are TS and go through HRT etc but there are other alternative ie just dressing to express your feminine side.

I know it is scary - I am going through that process myself.

Alice

I have to ask myself... Does all this really matter.  A transsexual is a transsexual, does it matter that they are pre-op, pre-transition, pre-hrt, pre-rle.  It's almost as though there are some who think this is some form of rating system.  A transsexual will transition and that's all that counts.   During their journey a TS could expect to be pre something along the way couldn't they.

Steph

I know officiy hate that steph. I have been called a TS person by a few people and my actions indicated that I have fooled myself for so many year. Somone in depression ETC definatly needs help - I know about the mood swings and sucuicidal thoughts that come with it - it is truly a scarly experience looking at your life and wondering why you need to change.

But for someone new who is trying to sort out their feelings asking them if they are TS and then saying you need to transiston is just to much. Heck - it is hard enough  for me and I have been here for months. Just give people the time they need to come to their own conclusion.

Alice

I know Alice, many also hate that line of mine but I really feel it is true, sorry hon.

Steph