Hm,
trying to get back on track - it is may experience that GD comes for me not at one level at all.
When it hit me, it sometimes hit me so bad I literally buckled over with pain.
As if I had to squeeze my very self out of my body. Like some form of emotional VERY bad constipation? Or like a toothpaste tube and squeeze it all out?
Then, it can be in far milder forms and I have to ask myself: What is going on?
Then sometimes my body answers, opens up some pain-window and I begin to cry and the issue rises to the surface.
Other times GD may be triggered very fast by something I read, or when I tell something to another person. These occasions can be quite unexpected, and the emotional pain erupting is hardly possible to suppress (for the sake of 'good form')
Lastly, all of the above was completely veiled by my mind before it surfaced in one BIG BANG (epiphany) and all my "unreachable" knowing, of being constantly in the wrong place, finally connected.
I asked before my epiphany, I just would not know! I was so trained in repressing the issue that is seemed impossible to connect. Every subterfuge would fit, AND got used as way to keep my subconscious in check, and all happened on autopilot.
So GD was never a consciously experienced issue before my epiphany. All the knowing was there, but repression did not allow it to present.
The frequency is another issue, and as I progressed through RLE and HRT the frequency has GREATLY diminished, so has the intensity --- so long I'm on E.
Going to zero E like had happened once before, GD starts all over again and as bad as ever. Some learning here.
I hope this makes sense?
Lastly, what's that big deal about sharing some of this? I don't understand these defensive posts? The person I mean will know.
It is the purpose of this site that it be save, and allow us to put these things on the able.
Thank you all for sharing,
Axelle
