About being full time

[Bird]

So I am full time at my social circles, the only exception being work.

I know I don't pass very well at the moment, but I have been getting less stares than I did back when I dressed as a male. I recall people staring oddly at me back then, now I do get a few curious stares but mostly I seen to blend in. The people who I meet who haven't know me before are yet to misgender me, and if they do, it seens my voice settles things.

I'm feeling this is a fairly different experience from what other girls have had. I don't know if I just live in a trans-friendly area or what the hell is going on, I'm simply feeling accepted. Is this passing? Or is this being tolerated?

My friends do tell me, unanimously, that I do look VERY feminine. I'm always very critic of myself, and I see many male features on me that I still have to change. But then, I am leaving a store and someone goes "Lady!" and they refer to me. I could be a case of "the whole being more than the sum of my parts" but I feel doubtful.

Yesterday I went to church and one of the guys who were with us, kissed me on the cheek as goodbye. In public. Would a straight guy who is a church goer kiss a ->-bleeped-<- goodbye? And let everyone around him see it? The lil kids outside shouted at me "Welcome to the house of the Lord!" using welcome in female (in portuguese, there are masculine and feminine for many more words than in english). Inside it, EVERYONE is always polite. I'm not saying I pass 100% of the time there, but the odd stares are rare. So it's like.. I'm a bit baffled at what is happening.

I wrote this to do a reality check. I don't know if I'm passing or if people are just being nice.

[apple pie]

From what you are saying I think you are passing well

It also took me many, many, many months to convince myself that I am actually passing in front of all those people instead of being tolerated, especially since I do happen to live in a place where people are relatively tolerant of a wide variety of things (and so are probably not likely to say much even if they realized it). Now I am confident enough that I expect to pass and I think nowhere as much about whether I'm passing or not any more when I go out, which is a good thing because sometimes thinking about it all the time tires me out!

I believe that how you speak and act plays a large part in whether you are perceived as male or female. Even if you indeed do have a few male features in terms of looks, if you start talking like a woman then people kind of decide at once you must be one, even if you don't quite look it.

I have a similar experience to your church experience, though I had gone to an Islamic centre instead. The first lady to see me shook my hands and welcomed me, and later was alone with me for some talk—Muslim women do not shake hands with, or make themselves alone with male strangers. And none of the Muslims there ever even gave me any strange looks and were all very friendly to me. To me that said I definitely was passing and not just being tolerated.

So I think you have good reason to be happy!

[Sunnynight]

Chances are you are passing. Not necessarily 100%, and it will take some getting used to feeling okay about others feeling okay. There's such a build-up of anxiety about what will happen once we go out the front door and into the world as our real selves, and it takes time to get over that anxiety.

Personally I still worry about passing even though all my friends and stuff tell me I'm fine and my upstairs neighbor still wonders what happened to the guy that used to live with my wife. But it does get better. You'll feel more and more confident, you won't care if it's toleration or actually passing, and when you stop caring you'll pass even better.

I'm really excited that things look like they are going well for you, btw. Congratulations on all your progress.

[Francis Ann Burgett]

You seem to be blending in well, just be confident in who you are & relax, enjoy, each day you will feel better & adjust to being a woman to yourself & the world.

On little things. Every normal woman also wants things changed about their appearance. If it's something you can change go ahead if not try not to even think about it.

Good luck. Congrads.

[JungianZoe]

Sounds like pretty typical early full time stuff!   The longer you're full time and the more steps you take toward physical transition, you'll start seeing and hearing these little confirmations more and more.  Let them sink in and give you more confidence because you deserve it!  You're just beginning to blossom and the flower grows faster than you probably imagined.