I.. I don't know who I am :/

[Cody Jensen]

At first I thought I was a boy. But I still have days when I feel like a girl. But I don't really feel comfortable as either gender. It's a long story but I feel like I have to change my identity. So I thought, if I have to do that anyways, why not just transition into a boy? I'm not ready yet though. I feel like there's.. I don't know how to explain it.. I guess I feel like there's something in the way of me transitioning. If I decided to stay a girl I would do stuff like change my hair color and other things to the point where no one recognizes me (very long story). But that's why I thought if I'm going to go through that trouble anyways, I might as well transition, but I just don't know anymore. I don't know who I am. All I know is I want to change my identity in some way shape or form. I hope I'm making sense. Anyone else feel similar? And how do I figure myself out? It's starting to affect me badly. :/

[justmeinoz]

You haven't given any indication of your age, which is understandable, but I would guess you are trying to cope with the normal teenage confusion on top of GID.  It's a long time since I was that age, but can remember I was totally confused a lot of the time.  I think most of us were, I just had an extra layer on top.
 
Maybe you are one of those people who can be comfortable at more than one point of the gender spectrum.  I'd just sit back and see what happens without making any firm plans at this stage.

There is no timetable for transition, everyone moves at a different pace.  Some stop at various points or even reverse direction for a while if they are feeling uncertain.  It's your transition, and you can do whatever you want with it. 

Karen. 

[Maga Girl]

At first I thought I was a boy. But I still have days when I feel like a girl. But I don't really feel comfortable as either gender. It's a long story but I feel like I have to change my identity. So I thought, if I have to do that anyways, why not just transition into a boy? I'm not ready yet though. I feel like there's.. I don't know how to explain it.. I guess I feel like there's something in the way of me transitioning. If I decided to stay a girl I would do stuff like change my hair color and other things to the point where no one recognizes me (very long story). But that's why I thought if I'm going to go through that trouble anyways, I might as well transition, but I just don't know anymore. I don't know who I am. All I know is I want to change my identity in some way shape or form. I hope I'm making sense. Anyone else feel similar? And how do I figure myself out? It's starting to affect me badly. :/

1.-What is a man to you?
2.-What is a woman to you?
3.- You hate your genitals or boobs?

In terms of gender identity alone, have you considered that you may be androgyne?

That's not a gender, is only ''look like a'', it's problem with clothes

[Cody Jensen]

1.-What is a man to you?
2.-What is a woman to you?
3.- You hate your genitals or boobs?


That's not a gender, is only ''look like a'', it's problem with clothes

RE #3 I hate my whole body... I feel the need to transition in some way.

[Dana_H]

Well, it sounds to me like you are in the "Q" part of the LGBTIQ spectrum ("questioning").  There are two points that I immediately keyed into: 1. You say you feel there is something holding you back. 2. You feel the need to transition in some way, but don't know what form you need to transition into.

That being said, take it slow and explore your options. Try on different gender identities (or non-identities) and see what feels most normal. Remember that there are a lot of options between boy and girl, between masculine and feminine. Try to imagine what your life would be like if you actually DID physically transition...and not just the good side; think about the drawbacks as well. If you feel not-boy but also not-girl, think about how you would define yourself if you could invent a completely new gender.

Most importantly,if you can, find a counselor or therapist who is experienced with gender issues and talk about all these thoughts with him/her. Their entire job is to help you sort through your confusion and figure out who and what is the "true you" and then to help you become the best "true you" that you can be. Maybe that will mean physical transition, maybe it will mean adopting a "non-op" identity of some sort, maybe you will find that you are already your true self and just had a lot of psychological baggage to work through.

Whatever comes of it all, know that you have friends here who will accept you for who and what you are and will listen non-judgementally. 

[Cody Jensen]

Well, it sounds to me like you are in the "Q" part of the LGBTIQ spectrum ("questioning").  There are two points that I immediately keyed into: 1. You say you feel there is something holding you back. 2. You feel the need to transition in some way, but don't know what form you need to transition into.

That being said, take it slow and explore your options. Try on different gender identities (or non-identities) and see what feels most normal. Remember that there are a lot of options between boy and girl, between masculine and feminine. Try to imagine what your life would be like if you actually DID physically transition...and not just the good side; think about the drawbacks as well. If you feel not-boy but also not-girl, think about how you would define yourself if you could invent a completely new gender.

Most importantly,if you can, find a counselor or therapist who is experienced with gender issues and talk about all these thoughts with him/her. Their entire job is to help you sort through your confusion and figure out who and what is the "true you" and then to help you become the best "true you" that you can be. Maybe that will mean physical transition, maybe it will mean adopting a "non-op" identity of some sort, maybe you will find that you are already your true self and just had a lot of psychological baggage to work through.

Whatever comes of it all, know that you have friends here who will accept you for who and what you are and will listen non-judgementally. 

Thank you Dana! That actually helped me out a lot!