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Advice from those who are post-op...

Started by Da Monkey, August 04, 2011, 12:45:11 PM

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Da Monkey

I am going to a water park for the first time since surgery. This will also be my first time out in a big public place topless.

I am having a hard time finding swim trunks that don't make the top of me look really short and stocky. And am now wondering if my nipple grafts were done too low maybe? I guess I keep looking at good looking guys and still comparing myself to them.

How ridiculous does this look? Am I wearing them at the waist right? I am nervous because it's not going to be where I am stealth. It's in one of my hometowns where odds are I will run into someone I know (ugghhh) the thought of running into someone there while being post-op and still looking 'odd/trans' is horrifying. I can't get the scenario out of my head. Plus when I use the pool at my apartment I get a lot of stares and I just feel like I still look funny.



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KamTheMan

I usually wear mens speedo shorts under my board shorts so I can sag them. Even though I'm pre-op so I have to wear a sports bra or bathing suit top I prefer the effect of my shorts hanging low because it takes some of the attention away from my hips. Some male swimmers do this because they're just used to being "secure." And it'd be a good reason for why your junk wouldn't be bouncing around.


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Da Monkey

That's a good idea, I worry a lot about my hips and was trying to lose some weight but due to some crappy medical reasons I have to wait a while before I can work out again. It's been almost 2 months since I've worked out and I've gained a lot since it sucks.
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Sunnynight

I'm not post-op, I'm not even FtM, but I'll say that I think you look perfectly fine, nipples and all. :)
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KamTheMan

That blows man. I hate to say it cause I know board shorts aren't always cheap, but maybe try a size bigger until you can start working out again. And yea it does look like you're wearing them a little high to begin with. Let me know if it works!


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VeryGnawty

Quote from: Da Monkey on August 04, 2011, 12:45:11 PMI am nervous because it's not going to be where I am stealth. It's in one of my hometowns where odds are I will run into someone I know (ugghhh) the thought of running into someone there while being post-op and still looking 'odd/trans' is horrifying. I can't get the scenario out of my head. Plus when I use the pool at my apartment I get a lot of stares and I just feel like I still look funny.

Dude, the scars are completely begging the question.  If you want to get less stares, you should really wear a shirt or something.  You could also try finding some kind of swimsuit/wetsuit which covers the torso.
"The cake is a lie."
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sneakersjay



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Da Monkey

Thanks everyone for your honesty and responses.

I just didn't get a $7000 surgery just to put a shirt on hahah even if I am a fatass.

I have regular swim trunks that I will dig up but the good thing is I can wear those ones with shirts and it looks fine. I always seem to wear shorts or pants higher than usual it seems oh well.

Also I think maybe chest hair helps. It's a lot darker than in the pictures since those are crappy webcam pics with bad lighting.
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Da Monkey

Is this better? Or Worse? I also tried wearing them lower.

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JesseO

I think the last pic is MUCH better, imo.
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Da Monkey

Okay good thanks hahah.

I just knew I wasn't crazy this time. I think I pull them up so high because I'm trying to hide most of my fat hahahah.
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driven

Ok, I mean this as a compliment here, even though it would sound kinda rude in any other context. You look like any other chubby guy I'd see at a waterpark. I wouldn't even look twice unless I already knew you or got a close up of the scars. And even the scars aren't that bad because they look like your pec line from a distance. I had to click on the pic and look at it again to really notice 'em.

In this case, I think the extra weight might help you. It makes it look like your swimsuit is sitting high because it's a bit too tight, not because you have "girl hips." You might also be able to explain the scars as removing some extra skin after losing weight as a kid. Most people these days have seen shows like Biggest Loser where there's all that nasty skin leftover. Kind of a gross excuse, but I doubt anyone would question it and suspect you're trans instead.

I really wouldn't worry too much about it. All that chest hair is gonna make people think "male" the second they see you. Even if someone does think your chest looks odd, they're still gonna think you're just a dude with a weird body. Cisguys come in all sizes and shapes...and I've seen some with weirder nipples than most post-op FTMs.
"I am not what I ought to be, not what I want to be, not what I am going to be, but thankful that I am not what I used to be." - John Wooden
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Da Monkey

Thanks, if I can look like any other fat guy then it's good. There will be more guys a lot fatter at the park I am sure so I am fine with that as long as I don't look woman-shaped, which I still think I do.  :-\
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El Capitan

I cannot even put into words how jealous I am of your body.

I wouldn't even question you tbh
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KamTheMan

yea dude second pic looks good! i think that's it, you were just wearing them too high. I've always thought I had pretty pronounced hips, so I've always compensated by wearing everything really low, my parents hate it. But anyways, yea, lookin good bro!


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RyGuy

seconded that I wouldn't question you despite the bit of hip chub. no "woman" has that much chest hair and a lot of people don't even know what top surgery is. you'll be fine.
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Sharky

Youre being way too hard on yourself. Your body doesn't look womanly at all. The scars are placed well. If anyone asks about them I would say that my ribs were crooked or something. I don't think your pants are too high in the first pictures. I think they are way too low on the second. I also think a shorter length would look better. Find ones that show your knees so you look taller.

Also I don't think youre fat just stocky. When I buy pants I have to pick if i want to wear them over or under my gut. If I want to wear them at my waist I got to get a bigger size and wear a belt. If i want to wear them at my hips I go smaller. Generally they end up under my gut either way. Guess I need suspenders.
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Elijah3291

Quote from: VeryGnawty on August 04, 2011, 01:41:16 PM
Dude, the scars are completely begging the question.  If you want to get less stares, you should really wear a shirt or something.  You could also try finding some kind of swimsuit/wetsuit which covers the torso.

seriously?  why get surgery so that he can continue to cover up?

and dude, you look fine, yeah you have scars, people get curious about things they aren't used to, just ignore it. Or you can do what I do, when I notice someone staring at me, I stare back until they realize that they were being rude, it usually causes them to look down and walk away.  And you worry way too much about your hips, they look like any other guys extra weight
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Cindy

From a girl point of view, you look fine, another dude with bad taste in board shorts :laugh:, sorry don't mean that rudely, just guys wear crap board shorts so you pass totally.

The big thing you need is confidence, no one seeing you is going to say; does he have a vagina or a penis? Act the guy and you are the guy.

As you know guys don't really care how they look, just do it.

Oh and Congrats, as far as I am concerned you pass
Hugs and enjoy

Cindy
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Da Monkey

Hahah yeah Cindy I see what you mean. My girlfriend usually thinks my clothes are a bit on the douche-y side hahahah.

I'd feel better if I went with my sister's boyfriend because he is larger than me but oh well you're right guys don't care how they look with their shirts off usually.

Thanks everyone, I guess we will see how it goes today hahah.
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