Restroom questions

[Mr.Rainey]

I have yet to use the guy's room. I feel I should since I am a guy. I pass a good 95% of the time. How did you guys get the courage up the first time? I think I am going to use a single stall guys bathroom at a book store or a coffee shop.

Also I have this weird shyness about STPing when anyone from my family is home and at friends houses. I know I have mastered my STP (4 months and not a single accident) I know at my house its not a big deal beacause why should my family care and I have my own bathroom. I suppose my worries about friends houses are if I somehow have a snafu.

[jrocket]

It's really not that bad. When I first went to the men's I was freaking out, my heart was racing and it was all over nothing, really. You just go in do your biz and get out of there. I was lucky enough to go into an empty bathroom my first time but I sort of freaked out when I heard someone come in and I dropped the toilet paper into the toilet D: whoops lol but the second time the bathroom was really crowded (it was at a theme/amusement park) but I did fine! I just went to the stall (had to wait for someone to finish), did my stuff (had a bit of an accident because the STP I was using was no good) but then it was all okay! Except I couldn't figure out how to turn on the tap to wash my hands lol turns out there was a button on the floor that you push with your foot...yeahh...

anyway, you'll do fine! be confident and just get on with it! hope that helps hah

[sneakersjay]

I chose the small public rest room at my local grocery store.  One stall, one urinal.  Very unlikely to have company.  The urinal was between the stall and the wall, so I could use my STP in relative privacy.  I purposely used the rest room nearly every time I went to the store.

The first time I ever used the rest room was in an airport when I was barely passing.  I was scared ->-bleeped-<-less, TBH.  I did not have my STP with me (unfortunately, in retrospect).  I went into the stall, all those horrors of my pee not sounding right, etc.  Nobody blinked (not that I was making eye contact! lol).

I then used a public restroom at a very busy truck stop in Arizona.  Probably a stupid move, but I went into a stall, closed the door, used my travel mate so my feet pointed in the right direction.  I was nervous as hell but did my business and got the heck out of there.  That was on the same trip as the airport.  Scary as hell but I decided since I was going on the trip as M (name was to be finalized on my return) and I had made all of my reservations in the name Jay (could be construed as a nickname for my F name), I went for it. 

So my advice is to find a small public bathroom in a place you will not likely find much company and get comfortable with that.


Jay

[N.Chaos]

So my advice is to find a small public bathroom in a place you will not likely find much company and get comfortable with that.


Jay

Seconding that. The single-serving bathrooms are the best, if you can find 'em. I can't actually remember the first time I used the guys room, I think it was at Taco Bell or something (one of those single dealies that I love so much) and when I came out, I actually got a really weird look from the older guy waiting to go in (But that was most likely because I was wearing a huge trench coat, and looked like I was going to eat someone's face).  That's the only time I've gotten any reaction at all, though, and I've been using only the men's room since around January.

In my experience, it's really not that big of a deal, once you finally do it. Getting the courage to do it, and going in and everything? That's scary, and it's a huge step, but once it's done and over with, it's like "Oh...well, I took a piss. Cool."

Granted, I don't have an STP and only use the stalls, but out of all the times I've used public bathrooms (and I pee A LOT) I've only had one notable interaction, and it had nothing to do with me, it was the other guy in the bathroom.

[Squirrel698]

Don't ... I repeat DON'T take a small child in there with you who is likely to scream at the hand dryer attracting the attention of everyone to you in a crowded gas room bathroom.

No matter what your partner says about it being your turn.  Just say no. 

Seriously

[sneakersjay]

LOL, Squirrel!

Equally awkward is being in a pool changing room/bathroom and your older son wants to see how you use the urinal.  Um NO.  Go away!! Far far away!!  LOL (back when I used an STP).



Jay

[jessman3]

Don't ... I repeat DON'T take a small child in there with you who is likely to scream at the hand dryer attracting the attention of everyone to you in a crowded gas room bathroom.

No matter what your partner says about it being your turn.  Just say no. 

Seriously

right there with you squirrel. Im terrified for the first time ive got to take my son to the bathroom in public. His dad (my partner) is usually there, and always helpful, but i know it will come eventually. And i really dont look forward to explaining why daddy pees standing up, while papa goes sitting down. Heh ^.^;

my first time using the mens room was actually an accident. Lol I thought it was just a single stall unisex bathroom, as i didnt see the other door, but when i turned on the light and shut the door i was standing in front of a urinal. I was sooooooo glad it was a single bathroom. (i wasnt passing well, and got strange looks when i came into the restaurant, but oh well).  but i peed, washed my hands and left, with no problem. Since then ive used them all the time. It was just getting over that subconcious thought of "youre not supposed to be in here!" that had been drilled into my head forever.

[Natkat]

I have yet to use the guy's room. I feel I should since I am a guy. I pass a good 95% of the time. How did you guys get the courage up the first time? I think I am going to use a single stall guys bathroom at a book store or a coffee shop.

Also I have this weird shyness about STPing when anyone from my family is home and at friends houses. I know I have mastered my STP (4 months and not a single accident) I know at my house its not a big deal beacause why should my family care and I have my own bathroom. I suppose my worries about friends houses are if I somehow have a snafu.

just knowing "its just a toilet"
go ind, take a pee, go out,
if there is a crowd wait.................... go pee, and leave..
if people having issues asking if your a guy or girl just say your a guy,
if they come up with the ->-bleeped-<- that your a girl and why a girl is into there bathroom try ask them why they even care.. Nobody have ever manneged to give me an answer (who wasnt stupid) for not using there toilet whenever it where girl boy handicaped unisex or whatever..

its not that often people think twince about it
just go in and do your stuff and go out, dont freak about it or look around, thats my adivse..

for when I first got the corrage it where when I really felt I had the chance and I where alone and thought noone would notice,
my first thought where.. "good it smells like piss" and then when I got out I where kinda relifed and happy nothing had happent..

[mm]

My first time using the men's room was actually an accident.  At my university I was going to a lecture in a building I normally don't go in. I needed to go so I asked the security person just inside the entrance which way to the restroom and she motioned across the corridor.  I headed that way and when I was 6-8 ft from the door I see men's.  I thought I am here needed to go, don't have much time so I went in.  There were several guys at the urinals; I walked passed them to a stall.  I sat and did my business, afterwards washed my hands and left.  It was a busy place between classes, almost none of the guys said anything to anyone.  In the lecture later I saw several of the guys who were in there when I was.  No one looked at me any differently at any time that I noticed.  I now use the men's all the time, thou I try to use the family/unisex and single person restrooms when possible.  Only when my red tide comes do I get a bit concerned in the men's

[KamTheMan]

I used the men's for the first time yesterday! it was funny actually, i went to pick up my mom form the airport an hour and a half away and when i got there i had to go. she came outside to drop off her purse and stuff but her checked bag hadn't come out yet. so she took my car and i went inside to use the bathroom and get her bag. so i go to where the bathrooms are and it's one of those with one big entry and you either turn left for the men's or right for the women's. i guess some guy that works in the airport was following behind me so when i went to turn right he like almost grabs me and is like "whoa! no, bro, it's this way." and starts leading me to the mens and i'm just like "oh. whoops." and went into the mens haha. found a stall and thankfully when i put the seat down it was clean. i got it done and left! awesomeness! i really want to get a snee kee or something so my feet can face the toilet tho.

[mm]

Great to hear you had a good experience, KyleXX.  The first time is a bit nerve racking not knowing what to expect.  You must pass very well to have him direct you into the men's.  In the airport everyone is trying to get their business done in the restroom and get out of there as fast as they can.  I seldom find a messy seat in a stall, probably less often than I did in the women's.  Men sit all the time to do #2 so I don't mind sitting and it is much easier and less messy for me right now.  I have a medicine spoon stp but am still practicing in the shower; I tried it once with my pants up and made a mess.  Does your mom know you have started using the men's?

[KamTheMan]

Hey thanks man! Yea I'm really tall so that with my clothes guarantees passing from the back. I never caught the dude's eye after he told me where to go so who knows haha! I had a nipple style stp packer that I couldn't get the hang of. I'm over packing for now and just want to stand in public. I told my mom that I used the mens. She said I should just keep doing that so women don't give me grief in their bathroom lol. She's overall open to the trans idea, as in she understands it's something that happens, but she's really hoping my upcoming therapy will help me realize that I just have severe anxiety issues preventing me from being happy as a butch lesbian. Fun times.

[Noah G.]

Don't ... I repeat DON'T take a small child in there with you who is likely to scream at the hand dryer attracting the attention of everyone to you in a crowded gas room bathroom.

No matter what your partner says about it being your turn.  Just say no. 

Seriously

LOL, Squirrel!

Equally awkward is being in a pool changing room/bathroom and your older son wants to see how you use the urinal.  Um NO.  Go away!! Far far away!!  LOL (back when I used an STP).



Jay

Hahaha, I am so glad that the one time my nephew has had me take him to a public restroom (and led us right to the men's room) it was because he had to pee, and only him. Though, we did talk about the urinal cake -- he was wondering what it was (and I couldn't remember exactly what they were supposed to be for).

Now, in response to the original post: the first time I used the men's room was on a trip. I was waiting for the bathroom and my younger brother finished before my ma and told me to just use that bathroom, so...I did. I think it was at a gas station? After that I think it was at a Chinese buffet place and thought the other restroom was being cleaned, so I opted for the men's.

I've used them several times since, and do still worry a bit about not passing, but I've not had a problem thus far.

[Sharky]

The first time I did it, it was an accident, I was still presenting as female. I didn't realize until I was walking out the same time some guy was walking in. I felt like an idiot but no one noticed, not even the guy walking in. In general people don't care/notice. Most people are too busy with their lives.

[sneakersjay]

Oh, I forgot!!  I first used the boy's room when I was in like 2nd grade, when I went during class with the hall pass.  I didn't get caught because nobody was in there, but it was cool.

Later, when I was around 10,  you could use the bathroom at the grocery store but you had to ask at the desk for them to buzz you in.  For some reason they kept them locked.  I mumbled men's room, and when I walked over to the bathrooms she buzzed me into the men's room.    I thought she might buzz the women's room anyway.  My mother never knew.


Jay

[TheAwesomePrussia]

The first time I used the men's restroom was actually unexpected. I walked into a Dollar General and asked where their restrooms were. He told me and said he'd need to give me the key to get in, when he handed it to me, I was friggin' ecstatic. He handed me a ruler with the key on it that said "Gentlemen's". After that, I just kept using the men's room. It was one of those moments that gave me the confidence I needed.
I think using the proper restroom is easier for ftm than mtf. Guy's room is really simple. Get in, do your business, wash hands, get out. Very little eye contact is made, so you really don't need to worry about being "found out".

[Aussie Jay]

Even before I started to transition, I used to use the disabled toilets wherever I went (obviously in some areas that's not possible) but where I could that's what I used. I copped so much crap over the years in the 'ladies' room I just flat out stopped peeing in public, and when I HAD to I went to the disabled to avoid the inevitable conflict that came when girls saw a 'guy' in the ladies room..

So when I consciously started to transition - when there was no disabled stall I went into the mens room instead. I avoided putting myself in thise types of position early on in my transition. But honestly I passed before T so it hasn't been a real challenge for me. Gradually my confidence grew and I chose to go to the mens more and more over the disabled.

Now I choose the shorter line lol! Especially at a pub or club where the stall is sometimes a less sanitary place in the mens room (usually due to other guys drinking a little too much!) I will opt for the disabled - no one else generally thinks to go in there.. I'm also a little reluctant to take my STP out with me I've never had an accident at home or work when I've used it but still just petrified at the prospect of 'what if'.. Especially when I'm out having beers and not exactly in complete control  lol..

My suggestion - start with the disabled toilet. Its not the 'ladies'!! And you can work your way up to the mens as your confidence/passing ability improves. And when you do start to go into the mens, the secret is confidence - just act like its where you're supposed to be (because it is!), get in and get out - no one is in there to socialise!

j.