Pronouns!!!!

[Bird]

AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just need to vent. So, about my 1st week of FT at university

Nearly everyone knew me there as a guy before, so passing is not an option. My option is openly being TG, and that is what I am doing. Nearly everyone who knew me is utterly confused. The majority of people have not done the pronoun switch yet, and I think it is going to be a tough ride from now on until I graduate.

Having people use male pronouns to refer to me has got fairly humiliating this week. I can take it, but I don't really like it. What hurts me the most is a close friend who not only seens to refer to me with male pronouns, but also seens to not be doing any effort at all to switch. I have been told it is getting weird to call me with male names, and some friends even asked me if they could swtich now because <male name> just didn't fit. (Kick ass friends, aren't they!)

But that single person is stuck. No effort,nothing. I told her it hurts me when she does it, I had her be aware my appearence will continue to change and it will be a dramatic change and she knows my previous history of depression and struggle with myself.

I am beginning to think she doesn't really cares.

[apple pie]

*Hugs* for you! And I think you are being very courageous so far! Please don't be sad Maiara. It will take some time for people to adjust to it...

Why don't you switch your name too now (or at least what name your friends call you by)? It will make it easier.

[regan]

But that single person is stuck. No effort,nothing. I told her it hurts me when she does it, I had her be aware my appearence will continue to change and it will be a dramatic change and she knows my previous history of depression and struggle with myself.

I am beginning to think she doesn't really cares.

Your friends have to transition with you, or they don't belong in your life.  It sounds like she's made her choice clear, now its time to make yours.

[LilKittyCatZoey]

Guess what try asking them  no really i bit**ed at a friend because she kept saying he and she looked at me and said well how am i supposed to know you prefer she!!. Turns out cis-people never click that we want to be called she, her etc just ask politely and if they still dont then just remove them from your life

[AbraCadabra]

Regan,
hit the nail on the head: "Your friends have to transition with you, or they don't belong in your life."

As simple and as brutal as that. BUT, - as mentioned already, YOU HAVE TO ALLOW THEM SOME TIME!

This is putting them under a cold shower, never forget. What is now required is some empathy for your side!
You been running all your life with that "girl inside" ... THEY DID NOT!

It is not necessarily bad will, it is just harder for some more "structured" minds (stubborn if you wish) to go with drastic changes. It scares quite some folks, never underestimate that.

Time will fix it,
Axelle

[Bird]

@regan Yes sadly, if she doesn't begins showing any effort it will have to come down to that.

@apple abd Zoey Yea, I have switched my name to a female one for social situations, for maiara actually. Not everyone is taking it well though. Anyway I'm
just asking it for my close friends and people I work with often.

I'm still in fairly early transition, so I haven't got the ropes of this I guess. I am going to explain things to the people who are just beginning to see me and hopefully, my friend will accept it.

I'm already avoiding her in social situations though, as it is getting embarassing.

[LilKittyCatZoey]

I'm already avoiding her in social situations though, as it is getting embarassing.

dont worry that goes away with time and you will experience it for a while so just stick with your close friends 

[Erin H]

I think the best thing to do is give her some time.
She might be missing you, like when you were in male form (you were always a women, but you know what i mean hehe)
If she keeps on calling you by your male name etc then it might be time to have another serious conversation with her and if she still doesn't budge, it might be best to let her go or get some of your more open friends to talk to her maybe.

Salisha x x

[Ann Onymous]

Always remember that you have been processing this change for many years...from your description of the transition, they have had all of a few days.  It takes some time for some people to adapt, especially if they had known you previously...but once a reasonable time has elapsed, then it becomes time to fish or cut bait (ie. figure out who you will continue to associate with).