I love being female!

[Marta]

For the past couple of months i have been living with my aunt Kim, used to be known as Kevin - Well our family is slowly TRYING to accept Kim as she is. Living in a very old fashioned type of family it's been a bit difficult to find acceptance for Kim from them but since they seem to care about her they are doing their best to understand and go on with life but with a very different family member now. Anyway my family consist's of mostly females most of my mother's family is female- i have 6 aunts and 2 uncles who are her siblings, my female cousins outnumber my male cousins, besides me my mother has 3 other daughters. Anyway since we are a big family of females we tend to talk about female issues and such and lately my youngest aunt who just turned 40 has been having a pretty bad attitude with my aunt Kim- I would say that she almost seems like she resents Kim for transitioning. In my family its a tradition to have a family dinner every month- this includes all family immediate and extended. We had this family dinner last night and my aunt has been having this sort of "i love being female" attitude recently. Particularly with Kim- she seems to throw it in her face when she is having a conversation mostly in a indirect way of course. She will say things like "oh i love being a mother" or "giving birth is such a beautiful amazing experience", to make a long story short she seems to talk more about things a person who is a MtF would probably never experience in their lives including things in childhood. I find her little rants highly inappropriate because to me it seems like she is purposely being malicious towards Kim and throwing things in her face that she has missed out on and probably will not experience in her life and well genetic girls do. It seems almost like a child trying to show off to someone who doesnt have what they have. So I want to know if anyone here has ever experienced this situation before and if there are good ways to handle this. Thank's for any input

[Forever21Chic]

  Yeah i had my own taste of this kind of treatment by a female family member. When i was early in my transition (19-20) my grandmother used to rub the fact that she was born female in my face all the time & said it didn't matter what how long i was on HRT and how many surgery's i had cuz i'd never be a real female. I felt like i was living in a preparatory school for young girls & my grandmother was the headmaster, nothing i did was girly enough for her and it made me feel like i couldn't measure up to natural women. 


    I don't know why people like that do what they do, maybe it makes them feel somewhat better about them self's cuz they didn't have such a good experience being a natural born female as they would like you to believe.    Best thing for your aunt to do is just smile and laugh it off cuz it is childish anyway you look at it. 

[regan]

I felt like i was living in a preparatory school for young girls & my grandmother was the headmaster, nothing i did was girly enough for her and it made me feel like i couldn't measure up to natural women. 

That's what I fear the most...

[Janet_Girl]

...  It seems almost like a child trying to show off to someone who doesnt have what they have. ...

Of course it is, Marta.  It happens all the time, even if transition is not in the mix.  And usually it comes from the ones who are not happy with their lot in life.  Sounds like this one aunt is threatened by Kim's very presence.  She might have been born female, but I will bet Kim carries herself with more femininity and class than she does.

Kim has too, because she has such a great niece in her corner.

[Cindy]

When I came out, very unsuccessfully, to my parents many years ago, I got the opposite from my mother. 'Don't you want to grow up and be a man, playing sport, having a family and doing all the things Guys do?'  When I said no, I was labelled a pervert.
No I'm out to my family in Australia and everyone has accepted me, I'm included in the female conversations and ignored by the guys, just like the the other girls.

Oh Well
Cindy

[AbraCadabra]

I think this sort of "I'm one up" female competition is not unusual.
Go to any hospital and see how some females just love to (mis)treat nurses as being one down on them.

It is nothing but compensation for an inferiority complex IMHO.

Imagine this aunt be going on like this in front of a GG that for some or other reason never could have children, but may have loved to have some!?

That is so very thoughtless and unfeeling. Just so to enjoy the notion to be one-up --- yet it's not too uncommon.

In olden days females would "take on" the titles of their husbands (they'd earned) and so become Frau Doktor, Frau Professor, or Frau Geheimrat... and walk about like peacocks, treating the rest of females like trash.

One hopes to have out grown this kind of behaviour with female emancipation, but your aunt obviously does not feel emancipated. So she has to use her fertile womb to bring other females down.

That's very childish and cruel.

Axelle

[Susan Kay]

Females are people.
Some people are born females.
Some females are born bitches.
Aunt Kim sounds very much female and worthy of that title, and respect.
The other person, very much not worthy of much respect, born female or not!

Susan Kay